


Paradox Space Wars Book 4: Heirs of Hope

by gingerinafez



Series: Paradox Space Wars [4]
Category: Homestuck, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: A new hope, AU, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Ancestors (Homestuck), Homestuck AU, Mentions of Aradia, Movie: Star Wars: A New Hope, OCs - Freeform, jedistuck, mentions of Sollux, mentions of damara, references to previous work, rosemary is background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-10-03 04:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10235573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerinafez/pseuds/gingerinafez
Summary: “I really do believe a blaster and a higher understanding of mathematics will offer more safety than an unproved theory,” Jade said. “The Force. Midi-chlorians. I haven’t studied it much but the theory has some merit behind it, particularly concerning the Jedi Order, but I wouldn’t risk my life on the hope that when the time came, a mysterious Force would save me. Now granted, I am a scientist and I am not willing to say that the Force doesn’t exist at all. There’s too much evidence to support it. I’d just want to understand it before I trust it, that’s all.”-Years after Her Imperious Condescension secured control of the galaxy, the Rebellion fights for its freedom. Karkat Vantas wants no part in this fight, and wouldn't have even considered joining it had a couple of droids not fallen into his hands seemingly by chance. Along with John Egbert, a fucker who somehow believes he is Karkat's 'friend' and Psiioniic, an old Clone War general, Karkat gets swept into a fight he did not ask for, but now cannot refuse.-Onto the original trilogy for the Paradox Space Wars series! This is my HS/SW crossover series. The prequels have been posted. Pages of Light has begun posting.





	1. Cat’s Cradle

**Author's Note:**

> Hello new readers and welcome back to those returning! If you don't already know, this is a rewrite series of all the Star Wars movies. My plan is to make each selection increasingly longer than the last. If you want to catch up on the series so far, it'll seem pretty short but don't worry, each piece gets longer. If you have any questions about the set up of the series feel free to drop an ask.  
> I took a huge creative liberty in an entire side story in this so, no, it doesn't follow cannon but this series forgot cannon a while ago so it's all good. Again, please comment of you have any questions. I really appreciate feedback!  
> Thank you, everyone!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

 

Years after the fall of the Republic, civil wars rages across the galaxy in a desperate clash of Rebels against the authoritarian Galactic Empire. Finally, Rebel ships have won their first victory of the war by striking from their hidden base.

Though the victory seems small, the real prize won by spies is the plans to a secret weapon the Empire believes will secure their ultimate rule of the galaxy. They call it a Death Star, an enormous, armored space station with the abilities to blow entire planets into rubble.

With the Empire’s forces quickly gaining, Rebel fighter Princess Kanaya Maryam races to her home planet of Alderaan in her starship. She carries with her the stolen plans that will save countless lives and the hope to one day free the suffering galaxy from the grip of the Empress….

 

-

 

Acting officer of the Galactic Empire Nepeta Leijon calmly locked onto the small ship in her computer’s sights. No expression broke through her face when she gave the all clear to fire on the inferior craft. Her comrades nodded obediently and pressed the appropriate buttons to fire. It was a smooth operation on an Imperial Star Destroyer. Everyone had a place and a purpose and if you lost one of those things you were useless, and useless had no place in this ship, let alone the Empire. She knew firsthand that this ship especially proved those points.

“We’ve taken out the solar fin and scans indicate reactors are shutting down,” a lower ranking officer announced from under her. The bridge was designed quite beautifully. Most personnel were seated in the lower half of the bridge with their computers while a series of main walkways rose over the screens and lead to the enormous planes of glass showcasing whatever unfortunate ship they happened to be preying on.

Nepeta marched to her commanding officer, General Ampora. “Sir,” she addressed him. He didn’t take his eyes off the rapidly decaying ship in front of them. “Continue firing or wait for further instruction, sir?”

Ampora tore his eyes away from the limping ship and peered over the black frames of his glasses. He had royal violet irises. They glared at Nepeta whenever they saw her lowly green tones, as if he was personally insulted that someone of her blood color could even attempt to rise in the ranks, let alone succeed. He probably was.

“Cease fire.” His Rs wobbled along with his Ws and Vs. No one mentioned it. Those who did disappeared shortly after. “Sufferer has taken a landing crew to stop the girl.”

Nepeta nodded and took a step back. He didn’t like her in his peripheral vision, and she didn’t want to get on his bad side today, especially after what had happened with the Imperial Archives.

She watched the small boarding ship near the Alderaan vessel. Beneath them loomed a disgusting ball of yellow. Tatooine. She’d heard of the planet. It was near her home. She tilted her head curiously and for a moment let her ever squinting green eyes widen at the frivolous thought of large cats she read about that roamed deserts. Were there any down there?

She shook her head softly. Distraction had no place in the Empire, and above all else she was a living, breathing component to the Empire. She had to be.

With that in mind, Nepeta resumed her station in the lower deck and sat gracefully into her officer’s chair. Her head casually swept the computer screens around her in that authoritative manner she’d mastered in her short career. The privates around her kept their eyes glued to their screens, their fingers stuck to their keyboards, and their faces dead. Good. All was in order, then.

Still, her soldier’s nerves always tingled on the back of her neck whenever she linked into the corporal’s helmet cam. Most of the enlisted personnel hated Ampora with a passion but she still had yet to figure who was in his pocket and who wasn’t. The corporal sure was, that stubborn bastard. He’d kill himself if Ampora asked nicely. A shiver went down her spine. Cocky highbloods.

One last time she glanced at the deck above her to confirm that that obnoxious purple headed sea dweller was still surveying the ship. He was. She took a breath and typed the name ‘Zahhak’ into the little waiting box on the screen. The corporal’s file opened up in a large window. She clicked the cam link and instantly another window opened up revealing what her friend was seeing in real time.

Corporal Zahhak stood behind a few other soldiers with his blaster drawn. The barrel remained steady in the corner of the screen. They were in some kind of white hallway. Two people knelt by a closed door with laser cutters. The automated lock was almost cut out.

Sparks and smoke clouded the visor in the helmet. A gray hand fanned the smoke away uselessly. There was a crash. Nepeta flinched as the screech of protesting metal filled her earpiece. She hurriedly turned the volume down.

A dark figure strode past the helmet cam. Through the smoke and the sparks it could have been a ghost. Nepeta wished it were. She didn’t like Sufferer. Sufferer lived up to his name. Everyone around him seemed perpetually soaked in misery. She kept her distance adamantly.

Zahhak fell into line after his leader and dropped to a kneel when the red streams of laser fire met him at the door. The barrel raised and fired through the haze, killing one enemy in grey fatigues, then another. Lasers ricocheted and the smoke only grew thicker until the haze clouded the screen into a blizzard. She gripped her seat nervously. Zahhak kept firing.

The white of Stormtrooper armor stood out against the grey smoke as the dispensable soldiers went in. Zahhak stayed in his kneeling positon and kept the weapon raised.

Time in the field. Every enlisted personnel wanting to advance had to do their time. It wasn’t optional unless you were rich. She doubted Ampora had ever held a gun in his life. She’d done her time. She tried not to think about it.

The firing stopped. Zahhak stood and fell in line behind the Stormtroopers, behind Sufferer. The Rebels had frozen. Various faces of shock, disbelief, fear, and hopelessness met the camera on Zahhak’s helmet. They didn’t lay down their weapons. They couldn’t, not in the face of someone, s _omething_ as menacing as Darth Sufferer. A few brave souls did the smart thing and ran, their boots echoing down the hall. Sufferer held out an arm lazily. The black of his armor and cape stood out in terrifying relief against the stark white walls. One of the runners’ bodies contorted something awful in mid-sprint. It looked as if he’d been clotheslined and frozen in the act. The choking that followed echoed down the hall for a period that seemed like forever. All that remained of the scared, wet noises of the dying man was forgotten as Sufferer’s labored breathing filled the otherwise silent corridor.

Sufferer raised a hand and motioned down the corridor. Troops moved out. Nepeta forced herself to watch as Zahhak and the Stormtroopers raided the ship, killing any Rebels they could find. She knew there were a few other people in that unit that weren’t clones but it made no difference on camera. They all moved with a cool, professional mannerism that didn’t care about what they were doing. Zahhak didn’t know she watched his missions. He never talked about what happened. She never asked, though she suspected he knew that she knew.

Finally, the last few bodies had begun to stop moving. It hadn’t taken long. It was a small ship. Nepeta kept her breathing even as she watched through Zahhak’s eyes. He walked with the rest of the troops into a corridor where Sufferer stood over an insignificant Rebel. She was human. Her blue eyes were wet and bulging as Sufferer choked the life out of her without ever laying a hand on her body.

“Where are the plans?”

The voice was filtered. Dead. The woman shook her head.

“No- plans!” she gasped painfully. “Diplo-mats!”

Her cheeks were crimson and a vain had popped in her eye. Nepeta wished Zahhak would turn away. He did not.

“Where is your ambassador, then?” Suffer demanded.

The woman shook her head. The muscles in her neck grew taunt. She kept shaking her head right up until Sufferer had had enough and the following _snap_ reverberated through the hallway. The troops remained still.

“Find her!” Sufferer yelled. They scattered. They all knew who ‘she’ was. They all knew this was no diplomatic mission. Princess Kanaya had intercepted the plans for the Death Star and was going to bring them to the headquarters of the Rebellion. Sufferer had killed the woman… because he could, Nepeta guessed. No one quite understood why the Sith did anything. Except for the Empress, she supposed. Everyone knew the Empress had Sufferer wrapped around her little fuchsia pinky.

Zahhak broke into a run. The camera bobbed as he chased something green and fleeting into corridors. The tails of a dress, she realized. All too quickly, Zahhak’s wide strides caught up to the princess. He shot her dead in the back with a laser that Nepeta knew would only stun. Still, she couldn’t stop the tiny hitch in her chest as the young woman swathed in jade crashed to the floor.

“All units to corridor B-5,” Zahhak’s gruff voice sounded over the speaker, “The prisoner is apprehended.”

And that was it. Nepeta minimized the window and rubbed her eyes. She walked with her normal cadence up to the viewing windows where Ampora still stood but her boots felt heavy, as if her stomach had dropped all the way down to her feet. Silently, she took her place next to Ampora and eyed the small Imperial ship returning from the Rebel one.

But there was something else. A black speck falling against Tatooine. Hope bubbled in Nepeta’s chest.

“What the hell is that?” Ampora roared over his subordinates.

“An escape pod, sir,” a scared looking private answered.

Ampora rolled his eyes. “I know that! Why aren’t we shooting at it?” he yelled to the clearly frightened man below him.

“Because we register no lifeforms, sir!” the man squawked.

Ampora relaxed and turned back to the window with a smile. “Good,” he sighed. Nepeta kept her face dull as her eyes followed the escape pod, her last hope, fall aimlessly into the pull of Tatooine’s gravity.

Oh Equius, she thought, what have we done?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Eridan is my patron troll and I love him but he is a major ass in this one. Still love him, though.


	2. So Two Droids Get Dropped in an Escape Pod…

At least the winds had died down. No more scalding sand blasting at his clothes and working its way into the crevices of his body. He shivered in disgust and looked out over the sand wastes again. They were a curious thing at sun sets. When the last rays of the last sun stretched its arms out over the expanse, a shadow would seem to go on forever. The eerie sight almost made it worth going outside and facing the heat. Almost, but the phenomenon was not quite enough to make Karkat venture out of his hive before nighttime.

Simply put, it was too fucking hot outside. Of course, Karkat couldn’t say that outload. Crabdad didn’t like profanity. Always snapped at him and reminded him that it was unbecoming. This, of course, usually led to a fight between the custodian and its charge, which usually lead to Karkat getting his ass handed to him, but so was life on Tatooine. Everything had a place from the sand spiders to the raiders but they were all a bitch to the suns. Heat ruled everyone here in one giant clusterfuck of fucking… shit kingdom… of….

Karkat sighed as the last shadows began to fade into darkness. He could never complete those rants. It wasn’t like he didn’t have time to practice with the huge quantities of fucking _no one_ to talk to out here. The best thing Crabdad had ever done for him was letting him get a shitty old computer from the trading port a few miles away. He really hadn’t had many interactions that didn’t involve fighting a giant crustacean for food before Pesterchum rolled around. Then his ranting and fighting evolved into beautiful, neutral-toned capital letters displayed on screens who the fuck knew where in the galaxy. At least he had that.

On that cheery note, the young troll slumped out of his chair in the garden and stretched. His muscles protested and his joints popped when he stood. He told them to shut the fuck up and went to grab some water and rags. Nights of working in the desert had shaped his small body into something not altogether muscular but very stout, and often very sore. The moister vaporators were going to be a mess after that storm and sooner or later he was going to have to clean it up so might as well start while the night was young, he decided.

The circular garden at the bottom of the little open-air excuse for a subterranean courtyard was Karkat’s favorite thing in the place, though he’d never care to admit it. As he trudged around the patch of dirt overflowing with peculiar purple wildflowers, his solitary mind wandered. It didn’t wander to or from anything particularly interesting. In fact, most of his thoughts were occupied with analyzing and over-analyzing romcoms he’d torrent off the internet and watch on those nights when it was too hot to do anything else. In between long, whispered rants about how he really did love her and why she needed to be with her best friend and not him, a few things did manage to get done. After kicking the trashcan R2 droid they owned no less than six times, the poor robot shuddered to life and ran scans on the productivity of the moister farm. Within two hours of that, the moisture vaporators were taken apart, cleaned, and reassembled. Crabdad tried to make him do it again to be sure the vents wouldn’t clog and Karkat fought for it. Nighty strife quota completed. Awesome. A few minutes of sweeping the sand off the floors and he was done for the night.

 

Karkat fell into his garden chair in a huff. The resulting cloud of dust made him laugh cruelly. Another night of the same, fucking, thing. He spit out another biting chuckle. What a great and wonderful life, folks. Behold, paradise! Nowhere, Tatooine!

His eyes closed heavily. The drone of nocturnal insects buzzed in his sound holes. His blank clothes, engrained with sweat and dust, sat uncomfortable against his skin. His hand hurt. Absentmindedly he opened and closed his fingers around an invisible object resting in his palm that he couldn’t quite place. It was heavy in more ways than one, whatever it was. A faint light in the back of his mind flicked with want of recognition and yet still the stubborn object eluded him. It must have been… metal.

A hiss escaped his teeth. He hated being tired. It always made his brain slow and fuzzy and think nonsense things. He pushed up from the chair with a groan. It was the damn garden. The flowers were the worse. If he stared at them to long it was like his mind stopped all together. The hisses left a sneer on his face that he let fester into a grimace. The end of the nights always made him angry. All that work and for what? Just to do it again tomorrow. If the universe decided to stop being a total slut and take a break from fucking him over he’d get to race for a day, but races were few and far in between. It’s not like he had a pod to race, anyway. He wasn’t rich! He had to bother John until the smiley bastard let him fly his T-16 in the canyons. And that was when he was even allowed to go into town!

Karkat continued his rant under a cold shower. The one thing he couldn’t deny was that living on a moisture farm had the ultimate benefit: water. They didn’t have a lot of water in town that didn’t cost big money or was grossly contaminated.

Fucking town. Crabdad rarely let him go to the trading post alone, like he was some kind of fragile-ass grub that had to be protected at all costs. Like the goddamned prince of shit wrigglers! Like he was some kind of Marquise de pantshitting punkass children! Like a fucking shame child… lord of incompetence… person… oh fuck it.

He turned off the water and stepped out naked to dry. Crabdad snapped at him for walking around the hive without pants. “I’m sorry I’m offending ALL THE PEOPLE HERE!” Karkat shouted as he climbed the steps up to the surface.

Crabdad. Always afraid he was going to get hurt at the trading post. Always afraid John was untrustworthy, like he hadn’t fixed half the instruments on the moister vaporators. Always afraid Karkat was going to develop bad habits like walking outside naked. Talk about paranoid.

The sand, now cool, felt nice on his tired feet. He looked up and sighed, as he had done so many times. Be it rolling eyes and expressing exasperation or looking at the stars and breathing heavily he seemed to have become a certified exert at raising his seeing globes skyward and respiring. He should have a damn PhD in this shit.

The stars didn’t have a response and that was probably a good thing because once Karkat had thought the stars were talking to him and believed he was going insane. He still wasn’t quite sure what that was.  But now they were quiet. Karkat did some math and decided he’d sell approximately 3/4ths of his bulge to get off this forsaken rock and go up there. Steal the T-16 and just fly away. It wasn’t worth his whole bulge, though. He wasn’t that desperate.

An urgent snapping broke his phallic reverie. “What now?” he groaned, walking over to the edge of the cylindrical hole in the ground that was the garden. More urgent snapping sounded below.

Swallowing his inevitable distain for whatever he was about to witness, Karkat peered over into the hole. There, at the edge of the garden, danced the shit R2 unit in flames and Crabdad valiantly spraying a can of industrial grade fire suppressant all over the metal can of worthlessness with surprising skill for a creature with claws. Crabdad snapped his free claw again and Karkat once again looked up and sighed.

“The Jawas won’t pass by here till next week! We’ll be droidless for eleven days!” Karkat shouted down to the clusterfuck below him. Crabdad snapped back. Karkat jumped back and looked around frantically. “What do you mean they’ll be here tonight!” he yelled, rushing to get inside. Crabdad snapped again and Karkat clenched his fists. “Okay, I agree, wearing clothes can be important.”

 

Fully clothed and aggravated, Karkat stood next to Crabdad and watched as the enormous Jawa Sandcrawler moved steadily towards them. The giant box of metal was the equivalent of a moving droid shop. The Jawas would steal, fix, take apart, rebuild, and sell any kind of droid they could get their grubby little hands on. Karkat hated dealing with them. Their droids were nothing less than shit but were the only droids affordable.

He watched, arms crossed, as the Jawas in their black, hooded robes unloaded droid after droid of all kinds in a line before the vehicle. The air quickly became thick with fumes of gas and sharp metal burning. Karkat tried to stifle a cough and hoped this would be quick. When Crabdad moved to negotiate with the merchant Karkat followed. Someone had to translate for the shelled dumbass.

It was the usual spectacle. Hissing followed prices being set. Bargaining was met with threats. It was all very boring. The Jawa chattered insensibly in its native language that Karkat could barely understand. It was trying to get them to peruse the other droids, even though the worker model they were looking at was obviously the best fit for farm work. It was a nice R4 that would be able to do some moderate lifting. Still, an R2 could be more delicate in its work. Karkat left Crabdad to poke and prod the prominent little droid and looked over the rest of the lineup. A hyperactive Jawa chattered along beside him and tried to sell some of the broken, rusted spectacles but it was hard to focus on money with all the bugs flying around the Jawa’s low hood. Luckily a makeshift drill droid spontaneously caught on fire and the Jawa was distracted, leaving the perfect opportunity for Karkat to make his escape.

He walked along the lineup, sneering at one pathetic presentation to the next. Some were of beautiful craftsmanship, obviously stolen and restolen for years. Others were just badly made, a joke by even low standards. A small part of him wondered where they came from, if they had stories. Where had they been? How did they get here? And by extension of that, how did he get here? Crabdad didn’t own him. No one owed Crabdad and if they weren’t slaves then why were they on Tatooine? Why hadn’t they ever tried to leave?

A beep caught his attention. A little black and white R2 droid at the end of the line beeped again when he looked at it. A taller black protocol droid next to it hit it on the top of its domed head. The R2 unit squealed, very offended.

Karkat chuckled and walked towards them. “What are you getting all worked up over?” he asked sarcastically to the R2 unit. “Are you simply overflowing with joy to be here on Tatooine?”

The R2 unit practically screamed. Karkat jumped back. “Oh, you’re not supposed to be here?” he responded. “Join the club. I’m not supped to be here either.”

“Be silent!” the protocol droid demanded the R2. The R2 whistled and calmed down. Karkat shook his head at the odd pair and turned to walk back to Crabdad. The giant crustacean was just about to hand credits to the Jawa when the R4 between then burst into flames just like the other droid had. Crabdad screeched and drew himself up to his full, impressive height, accusing the Jawa of swindling him with assorted snapped and screeched. The eight foot lusus towered over the Jawa, yet neither of them stood down.

Karkat swore and ran towards the confrontation. “Hey! Hey!” The two weren’t listening. The Jawa reached into its robe as Crabdad reared back to strike. Karkat upped his run to a sprint and launched himself at Crabdad, jumping and latching himself onto the raised claw. “Calm down!” he yelled. Crabdad screeched. The Jawa raised a rifle. The flaming droid crackled between them. “Everyone calm down!” Karkat yelled again. The Jawa aimed the weapon.

Panic gripped Karkat by the throat. He closed his eyes and held onto to Crabdad’s arm with everything he had. His stomach felt empty in fear and his voice cracked as he cried out, “Stop!”

His uneven breathing filled his ears. No gunshot. Crabdad did not fall. The Jawa did not scream. They all simply stopped. Karkat’s arms gave out and he fell to the sand with an ungraceful flail. Crabdad caught him before he hit the ground and set him down gently. Karkat’s hands shook.

“There’s a perfectly good R2 over there,” he announced. “Let’s just buy them and get it over with”.

Crabdad tilted his white, exoskeletal head and nodded slowly. Karkat followed on shaky legs as the Jawa lead them to the end of the line. He felt a little sick. He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened back there and he sure as hell didn’t know what was happening now. Crabdad stood frozen. The R2 unit and the protocol droid stared back silently. The Jawa’s big eyes, pale yellow circles reflecting the moonlight, blinked. The night turned stagnant.

The silence was broken by the protocol droid. “Is the lusus alright?” they asked.

Maybe Karkat should have responded to the weirdness differently but there was still too much adrenalin in his system from a few moments ago to think properly. “How did you know he’s a lusus?” Karkat asked.

The protocol droid stepped forward. “My Masters are trolls. I am very well versed in both Alternian and Beforusian culture and history.”

The Jawa hissed and the droid stiffened. “My Masters _were_ trolls. Sorry.”

Crabdad snapped very rapidly. Karkat turned to him, incredulous. “Both? What do you mean we’re buying both? We don’t need a protocol droid!”

Crabdad didn’t answer. Back in a relaxed stance, he displayed an all too generous amount of credits to the Jawa. Karkat gaped. What the fuck had gotten into him? The Jawa pocketed the credits and started packing up the other droids.

“Dude. What the hell?” Karkat demanded as they and their two new droids made their way back to the hive. Crabdad didn’t respond. “Are they special? Why did you spend that much on them?” He stood in front of the door with conviction. Crabdad shoved him aside as gently as one can shove someone aside, and scuttled past him. Karkat was aghast. What the fuck was he doing?

Crabdad snapped, telling him to clean the droids before sunup. Karkat turned to the odd pair of robots. They stared at each other. “Fuck it,” Karkat resigned with a sigh, “I’ll get an oil bath started.” He left the droids shaking, his head. An odd fear was developing in his chest. He didn’t like it at all. It meant something was happening but he didn’t know what, only that he was in for a lot of trouble.

Karkat shrugged it off. It was probably nothing.

 


	3. Wayward Vagabond-ing

Never in his short life had Karkat ever met two droids more diametrically opposite than the protocol droid and the R2 unit. There was no end to their incisive bickering. The one thing they could agree on was to not talk about whatever the hell it was they weren’t supposed to talk about.

Karkat had brought the pair into the little garage in the lower part of the farm and set to work. He tried to stay quiet as the oil bath began to bubble in a large basin for the protocol droid. Behind him continued an ongoing argument.

“No. What do you mean ‘ask for help’?”

A beep from the little one. It was very persistent. Almost endearing.

“No, she is beyond our reach now. We must seek justice for these actions in a different manner.”

A low whistle followed by a click. Karkat inclined his head.

“What message?” he asked, rising from the edge of the basin.

The R2 froze mid-chirp and slowly rotated its domed head towards Karkat. If a droid could look guilty, this one did. It whistled low. Karkat shook his head. “Nothing? How can it be nothing if you were arguing about it for ten minutes? Do you know what they’re talking about?” Karkat asked, turning to the protocol droid.

The tall one shook its head. “I do not. It seems we are in the same situation.”

Karkat frowned at the pair. They were both in pretty bad shape. Sand made their movements jerky and hard. Their metal plating was scorched in a few places and dented, but they were obviously good droids and insanely well built, even if they were older models. Still, that didn’t explain why Crabdad wanted them so desperately.

He folded his arms and leaned against the sandstone wall. “Do you two know my lusus?” he asked with a hint of anger in his voice.

The droids shook their heads. “I’m sorry, sir. This is a new encounter for us.”

Karkat’s anger lessened a bit but his curiously remained piqued. He shrugged and began helping the protocol droid into the oil bath. “Don’t call me sir. My name is Karkat. And what the hell do I call you, the kiss up?”

The droid twitched in offense. Before they could respond the R2 piped up happily. “Justice is not aimless!” the protocol droid yelled in response as Karkat lowered them into the vat. “It is the foundation of society and laws and the Empire is not going…” the words were drowned out as the speakers went under.

“Well, you sure sound like an Aimless Renegade to me.” Karkat sighed and turned to the other droid. “And you?” They beeped. “The Wayward Vagabond? Yeah, we’re gonna have to think of something else besides that.”

The little droid raised its body on its legs and lowered it in an impromptu shrug that made Karkat smile. Ugh, he was getting sleepy. The moons were going to set in a two hours and he hadn’t even gotten to message anyone online. He scowled and grabbed an oiled rag to work on WV.

The least he could do was badger the droid with questions in exchange for his cleaning services to pass the time. He yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “So tell me, how the hell do a couple of high-end droids like you two end up here on this fucking rock?”

WV swayed a bit. They made an apologetic noise.

“Okay. And why can’t you tell me?”

WV’s response made him squint. “Because you’re on a mission?” He drew the rag back slowly. What was AR saying about the Empire? “Do you belong to someone Imperial?” Karkat’s voice shook. Imperial droids that had no higher functions. Imperial droids in his hive that could see him bleed. Imperial droids that could reveal his blood caste. Imperial droids that could be reporting back to the Empress right-

WV squealed. No!

Karkat let go of the breath he’d been holding. He didn’t realize his heart was pounding so hard in his ears. The droid squeaked again. They meant to say, they can’t tell you.

Karkat rolled his eyes and got back to work, his panic subsiding. “So if you’re completely and not totally with the Empire, on a secret mission with the renegade over there, and can’t tell me what you’re doing with a super-secret message, I take it you’re with the Rebellion?”

The little droid went silent. Karkat frowned at the particularly difficult spot he was scrubbing at. “You know,” he started, “the Rebellion doesn’t have a place out here on Tatooine. Trust me. I’ve tried to join but Crabdad found out and hauled me out of the meeting place in the trading port.” He cringed at the embarrassing memory. Signing up for service in a bar just to have a giant crab bust through the door and literally carry him away. WV looked up at him. They beeped softly.

“Nope, afraid I can’t help you there. Crabdad would kill me if I went on a random-ass mission to help some possibly insane droids he bought on a whim. I’d take you to John but he may not even be on planet anymore.”

He checked on AR. They seemed to be doing fine now. WV was still asking the questions. It was annoying.

“John?” Karkat responded. “John’s an asshole fancy flyer who works in a garage in town, and has somehow got it through his impeccably thick head bone that he and I are ‘friends.’ He also happens to, unfortunately, be the only human insane enough to let me borrow a T-16 he built and fly through the canyons.” Karkat’s voice got a little quieter. “He also happened to get in touch with some Rebels stopping for fuel in the port a while back. He tried to join, but they said they wouldn’t let someone with only 15 rotations into the ranks. I think John’s going to lie about his age next time… man what the fuck is jammed in here?” He’d been working at a little switch that’d been jammed wrong for three minutes now.

WV asked him another question as he strained against the switch. “Join the Rebellion? Sure, but only to get off this fucking hot-ass rock.” He tried another instrument. “Rebels, Imperial, I really don’t give a fuck as long as they leave me to a peaceful life of fucking solitude, I’m happy.” He strained against the switch and grunted out his next words. “Make me the king of hermits for all I fucking care.” The switch slid a centimeter. “No fucks given in my-“

The switch gave way and Karkat slammed back against the floor, his screwdriver flying, bouncing off a wall. WV was pushed backwards by the momentum as well and fell. A glowing blue hologram of a woman hovered horizontally in the air. She was leaning forward and speaking but there was no audio.

“Now what the fuck is this?” Karkat demanded as he righted WV. The audio switched on as WV shifted into place. “…need you now more than ever, Psiioniic. Please- need you now more than ever, Psiioniic, Please- need you…”

The message kept repeating. “Who is that? Is it a Rebel? Why is she dressed like that?”

WV screamed and reversed into a wall with a loud _bang!_ Crabdad screeched upstairs. “I’m fine!” Karkat yelled as he ran over the WV. “What the robotic fuck did you do that for?” he demanded. The droid shook its head. “Turn it back on!” They shook their head again. A scuttle of Crabdad’s carapace echoed in the courtyard. “Okay, don’t turn it on. Be quiet.”

Crabdad shoved himself in the room and snapped suspiciously.

“Nothing!” Karkat yelled. “I told you! Just get the fuck out of here!” Karkat winced. Fuck. Crabdad towed over him. Karkat looked down. “Language, I know. I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, getting ready for an ass kicking but there was no need. Crabdad just snapped a warning and left. What the fuck was going on tonight?

When he turned around he saw that WV as powered down. Fuck if he cared. He was going to sleep.

 

“Master Karkat.”

Karkat hissed and turned over in his bed.

“Master Karkat, we have a dilemma.”

Karkat groaned. “I thought you went into power-saving mode after your oil bath,” he groaned, daring to open his eyes only to slam them shut at the soft sunlight coming through a crack in his makeshift curtains.

“Yes, I did.”

Karkat rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up. AR was standing at the foot of his bed. “Then why the fuck are you in my room?” he spat.

“Because WV is gone.”

Karkat groaned and sat up. The implications of what AR had just said made its way to his foggy think pan. “Tell me everything,” he demanded as his eyes adjusted to the light. How could a droid just be gone? It was past mid-morning. That meant the suns would be high. Great.

“WV was simply raving. I can’t blame them. We had a pretty rough landing from the escape pod…”

Karkat paused in putting his pants on. “Escape pod?”

“Yes sir,” AR explained, “You see we were on a ship that got attacked a few days ago-“

“Why didn’t you tell me this last night?” Karkat whispered angrily. He didn’t want to wake Crabdad up.

AR shifted. “I had to be certain you were not an Imperial spy. Justice for the crimes against the people of the-“

Karkat held up a hand. This was not happening. Crabdad was going to kill him if the droid was missing and even if the lusus decided to spare him they’d be fucked for the moisture harvest without an R2 droid. He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his temples before putting on a pair of polarized goggles. The day was young. They could still find WV.

“First of all, why the hell would an Imperial spy be on a shitty moisture farm on Tatooine?” He started wrapping a scarf around his head. It was going to be bright out there. “Just tell me what happened. Do you know where they are, where they went?”

AR stepped out of Karkat’s way as he paced about the little room grabbing various items to protect him from the sun. His grogginess quickly subsided as he realized WV really was gone. “How long ago did they leave? What were they looking for?”

AR handed Karkat the jacket he’d been searching for. “WV kept repeating that we need to find a Master Psiioniic. They said it was important to the Rebellion and to an individual named Kanaya. I thought WV was malfunctioning. I powered down hours ago.”

Karkat stuffed a bag with binoculars and water. “Who the fuck is Kanaya? Psiioniic? Who the hell is Psiioniic and why would they be on Tatooine if they’re so damn important?”

“I do not know,” AR answered, much to Karkat’s annoyance. He stopped in front of the door and glared at AR.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he explained slowly, “We’re going to steal the landspeeder, find that damn droid, bring them back before Crabdad wakes up at moon rise, and not tell Crabdad. Alright?”

AR nodded curtly. Some protocol droid. Karkat wondered if a soldier wasn’t programmed somewhere in there. “And if anything goes wrong I’ll have both of your memories flushed, you got that?” he threatened. AR nodded again. “Good. Let’s go.”

 

He tried to make sense of it, he really did. Crabdad wanted the droids that mysteriously had to be involved in a Rebellion. Okay. He could let that slide. WV was on a mission to find a man named Psiioniic, but their tracks lead out to the hills past the dune sea and the sand plateau and only one man lived out there, Captor. So for fucks sake, WV is trying to find Captor, possibly Psiioniic, you know, the only troll within 100 fucking miles of the farm. Yeah, that one. The one that Crabdad warned him to stay away from at all costs. Sure. Let’s say that was happening. But the one thing he could not ignore was that woman in the message. At least, he thought she was a woman. Trolls made guessing age a problem. For all he knew she could be his age. It was her he couldn’t ignore, but why?

He tightened his grip on the landspeeder’s yoke and kept looking out over the dunes. They flew past in a yellow blur. The canopy was the only thing separating two of them from the desert. That WV was a persistent little fucker. Wayward indeed, how the hell they managed to get so far in only a few hours, he couldn’t guess. The three little lines that WV had left behind were getting dangerously near the foot of the hills. Karkat sighed and squinted at them, their rolling mass tinted green from his goggles. Sand people lived in those hills.

Karkat shuddered. He did not want to get stuck out here. If he managed to not get blinded by the sun, not get burned to a crisp, and not get dehydrated to death, then sure thing he’d be captured by the sand people and sold into slavery. It was not a pleasant place out here and he knew it.

Still, as he looked out over the wide, dull colored landscape he knew that if he didn’t find WV they’d be screwed. It was too late to think twice, they had already come so far. He pulled the speed back and slowed to a stop before the opening of a path into the hills.

“Is something wrong, Master Karkat?” AR asked.

Karkat responded automatically. “There’s a lot of things wrong, to which one are you referring to?”

“Why have we stopped?” AR clarified. “WV couldn’t have gone much further than this.”

Karkat nodded. He felt sick as he slowly urged the landspeeder into the foothills. It handled the terrain easily, tilting when they began to escalate. Karkat didn’t like this at all, going from the searing desert into this. In a way, deserts are always filled with ambient noise. The wind softly stirs over the sand, even if it’s not strong enough to move the particles. A creature will scurry away when you think you’re alone. It’s comforting. It’s natural.

Here it was silent save the hum of the engine. The winding path fell into shadows cast by the sandstone rocks around them and the wind was absent under the speeder’s canopy. Karkat lowered the scarf around his face to wipe some of the dust out of his mouth and nose. It was cooler in the shade but his palms remained sweaty in his gloves. He gripped the yoke harder and looked around. His shoulders refused to relax.

WV’s tracks were still clear as day in the sandy path they followed. Karkat picked up the pace a little. His neck tingled in a way he hated. It meant there was someone watching that he couldn’t see.

“Tell me if you see anything,” Karkat whispered to AR. It seemed fitting to whisper. If the landscape was going to be silent then so was he. AR nodded and continued scanning the tops of the rock faces. Karkat took a deep breath and continued on.

 

WV’s tracks lead them deep into the foothills. Bantha hair occasionally adorned the side of the path, reminding Karkat whose territory he was in. He wanted to turn around so badly. He didn’t do this. He didn’t wander into Raider country and look for droids. He wasn’t going to join the Rebellion and he sure as fuck was never going to get off of this lousy, piece of shit planet that was just going to kill him anyway.

And yet, he couldn’t turn around, not yet, not when he knew WV was so close. He didn’t know how he knew but he did so he took a deep breath and steered the vehicle around another bend.

And there they were, WV hurrying along up the path as if they weren’t endangering their new owner’s life. Karkat put on the brakes and jumped out of the speeder. “Hey!” he whispered harshly. WV squealed and tried to go faster as Karkat rushed up to them.

“Shut the fuck up,” he said through gritted teeth. “We’re going home, get in the speeder.” He jabbed a finger behind him, not taking his eyes off the droid. WV turned to face him and screamed in nonsense.

“Stop yelling!” Karkat yelled. He turned to see if AR could shut WV up but AR wasn’t standing behind him. AR was being tied up by two Raiders, his limp, powered down form easily obeying.

Fuck. Karkat backed away, tripping over the still screaming WV in the process. The hard, dusty ground was not kind. He cried out, tried to do anything, something, but never got the chance. The blunt end of a rifle slammed into his temple before he even had the chance to say ‘fuck off.’


	4. Red and Blue Once Again

Karkat yelled but no sound came out. The sun was bright, too bright. Where were his goggles? His mouth tasted raw and metallic. He scrunched his eyes up and spit onto the dusty ground. How long had he been out? The ringing in his ears ebbed and allowed the onslaught of screeching Raider cries to pierce his pan. He swore under his breath as he tried to sit up but just slipped, getting a face full of dust for all his valiant efforts. He coughed up as much of the sand particles as he could out of his nose and throat. AR was saying something. WV was whistling. The Raider noises grew faint. Something had scared them off, he figured. He allowed his body to slump back to the ground and tried to focus on willing the pounding in his think pan to cease.

Footsteps. He stiffened as the tingling breath of adrenalin shot through his body. His eyes remained screwed shut. Better to have your eyes closed in one fight than be blind forever. “Who’s there?” he yelled, arms out. The peculiar fear that accompanies sudden blindness gripped his nerves. Something fell into his lap and he flinched. “Who the fuck is there?” he yelled again as he frantically grabbed at the object resting dangerously close to his crotch. As his fingers closed around the familiar textures of his goggles he relaxed, slightly. He shoved them onto his face and opened up his eyes.

Everything fell into view very, very quickly. It was impossible not to see the tall, thin framed troll in front of him. The man was easy two heads taller than Karkat. Through the shaggy mop of black hair poked a curious double set of horns, one of the four boasting a nasty chip. Karkat briefly scanned the scars and oddities of the stone faced troll before his eyes fell on another sight. Something red. Karkat’s own red blood lay in a few spittle laden pools mixed with dust on the ground before of him. It blared crimson, his liquid death sentence. A strange calm followed that sight. This troll, not lawfully but who the fuck would care, could kill him with no consequence. He swallowed the bloody taste from his mouth and glared up at the older being defiantly. Death didn’t scare him.

The troll, who had be Captor, the only troll within a hundred miles probably, wore a pair of opaque blue and red googles that made his eyes impossible to see. Karkat had no idea if he’d seen the blood yet. Captor stared down at him silently, mouth slightly open to reveal sharp, white teeth. The hair on Karkat’s arms and neck stood on end. Curious. He wasn’t scared. The air just felt electric.

“Well,” Karkat spat, “are you gonna do something or just fucking watch me grovel in the dust like a sadistic creep?”

Captor shrugged. “Hey if you want to be a fucking wriggler about it then take your damn misery credits back to the bitch bank and cash that fucker in but when you’re ready to stand up and deal with the shit that’s been handed to you,” he paused, taking a moment to adjust his old cape like it was something grand, “then give me a call.”

Without warning the stranger turned on his heel and started walking away. Karkat gaped. His auditory receptors cried out to hear more of this glorious bastard’s sweet, sweet vernacular. Without hesitation the man had crafted a sentence of such beauty, of such eloquence. Karkat scrambled to get up as he resolved to learn every fucking iota of knowledge that pretentious fucker had to offer.

Captor stopped his course and without turning back called, “And a thank you might be in order as well.”

Karkat looked around. The speeder looked ransacked. How many Raiders did it take to scrap a vehicle that fast? What had happened while he was out? And where were AR and WV?

His last question was answered with a swivel of his head. The two buckets of bolts were following Captor! “Hey!” he yelled. The party of three stopped in unison. Captor turned around.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing with my droids?” he demanded as he stormed up to his newfound idol. Respect be damned those were still his droids. He marched right up to Captor’s face and gave him the best glare he could while having to tilt his head back.

Captor shrugged again. He did that a lot. “They have a message for me.”

Oh. Karkat looked up to the orange sky to sigh because of the circumstance but instead sighed because if the sky was orange one of the suns would be setting soon. Captor looked up too.

“You were pretty out back there, kid. Come back to my hive. Rest. Let’s find out why this fucking message almost got you killed.”

Karkat scoffed and turned to the stranger. “And have you fucking murder me or something? Fuck that! I’m going home!” he yelled but he knew it was halfhearted. He needed to know what the message said and something told him Captor knew how badly it was bothering him. The older troll tilted his head down to Karkat and raised his eyebrows. Karkat sighed.

“If you kill me I’ll haunt your ass.”

The old troll let out a biting laugh. “Good luck with that one, kid. I know a thing or two about ghosts.”

Karkat scoffed. Oh no. This dramatic, leave-a-sentence-in-the-air-hanging shit didn’t work with him. The old bastard had already swooshed his cape and began walking. “What the hell does that even mean, Captor?” Karkat demanded, falling into step next to him.

Captor frowned at him. He didn’t correct the name so Karkat knew he was right. Karkat glared, daring him to try another melodramatic line. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, and then paused, looking up at the sky now on fire with sunset. They walked on in silence, the ground crunching beneath their feet and the droids softly beeping behind them. Karkat waited for an answer but as the air got cooler and their strides fell into a tandem he realized he wasn’t going to get one, not anytime soon anyway.

“You’re Karkat, right?” Captor asked suddenly.

Karkat bared his teeth. “Yeah, what about it?”

Captor held out a hand. “Captor, nice to meet you.”

Karkat shook the hand and glared. He guessed he should probably work on some other facial expressions but glaring was what he had the most practice with, so, that’s what he was sticking to. Captor smiled, though, and it was a sad smile the likes of which Karkat had seen a few times when he went to the market on occasion with John. It was the smile of people who had lost everything and ended up here on this hunk of rock floating through space without anything left to loose.

He let go of the hand suddenly. Where had that come from? They walked the rest of the way to the hive in silence.

 

Finally they reached a little sandstone dwelling carved into the canyon. The suns had set and what little light flooded through the windows penetrated the night like suns. It hurt his sensitive eyes after all the darkness.

“Well, here we are, home,” Captor said with a sigh. Karkat looked over at him and flinched. He didn’t know when Captor had taken off his goggles but he was not expecting what was underneath. Two solid eyes caught the light eerily. One was entirely blue and one was entirely red. Karkat shivered but it wasn’t cold. He couldn’t shake the feeling he’s seen those eyes before, that he knew them.

Captor turned his head and the distraction was gone. The two droids and the two trolls entered the little dwelling. Karkat whistled low at the sight of the interior. Electronics of all kinds hung from various wires and balanced precariously on shelves and stuck out of every odd and end there was in the tiny place. The dwelling itself was nothing more than a sandstone hive with cheap furniture but the tech in there was enough to actually buy a real hive.

“Where the hell did you _get_ all this?” Karkat breathed. There was too much to look at once. Communicators of all sorts. Computers and projectors in every make and model. Everywhere he looked what another device to gawk at.

Captor laughed and hung his dusty old cloak up on a nondescript hook on the wall. “That’s not the half of it, my friend. Take a look at this.” Karkat watched in wonder as this mysterious man lead him into a tiny kitchen and strode up to something big covered by a sheet on a table. Karkat held his breath as Captor pulled back the sheet unceremoniously and revealed a halfway constructed podracer engine. He nearly fainted right then and there.

“You like podracing?” Karkat asked breathlessly.

Captor shrugged, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall as Karkat scrutinized every bit of the engine. “I used to have a friend that did. I took up the hobby,” he heard him say. Of course, he didn’t build engines. That was all John, but damn could he fly. He knew if he could put this thing in one of John’s old scrap piles it’d run like something Imperial.

Before Karkat could be awed by more of the man’s possessions, WV beeped urgently. Captor smiled. “Ah, yes, the message. Alright, let’s have it, old friend.”

WV whistled and Captor frowned. Karkat sat down on one of the chairs and watched the strange incident.

“I’m sorry,” AR piped up, “But do we know you, sir?”

Captor shook his head. “Ah, no. Sorry, reminded me of a different droid.”

Karkat kept his mouth shut about Crabdad knowing them too. Keep your cards close. As cool as this guy was, he wasn’t taking any chances. He was well aware there was red blood stained on his ashen face. Best play stupid and get out while he could. It was getting late. Crabdad was going to kick his ass.

WV whirred and projected the hologram of the tall, graceful woman into the air. She was definitely a troll. Her hair was cropped close and her horns stood tall and proud, one curving and one hooked. Her hologram stood up straight and looked about calmly, but with an urgent manner.

“General Psiioniic,” she started, “I am Princess Kanaya Maryam of Alderaan. I’m told you know who I am. My mother, Senator Maryam, requires your help. My ship is under attack. It is certain that we will not escape. I was sent to bring you back to Alderaan with me, but regrettably, this will not happen. Lord Sufferer is boarding as I speak. Inside this R2 unit is information vital to the Rebellion. Good people died to retrieve it. It needs to be delivered to Alderaan or…” she stopped. “Or we’ve lost. We need you now more than ever, Psiioniic. Please-“she jumped back at a crash. The message cut out and restarted. “General Psiioniic…”

WV stopped the message and whistled sadly. Karkat’s head spun. He felt… something. He knew her, but from where? Captor knew Psiioniic, Psiioniic was connected to the Rebellion. The Rebellion was connected to the droids, and the droids were connected to Crabdad? He buried his face in his hands and flinched at Captor’s hand on his shoulder.

“You’re Psiioniic, aren’t you?” he asked without meaning to. Psiioniic nodded and took a chair.

“I’m not gonna kill you, if that’s what you were wondering. Red blood doesn’t bother me.”

“Why?” Karkat asked, incredulous. “Who are you? How do you know these droids? How did you… know my name?” He pushed the chair back and stood up abruptly. “Are you the reason Crabdad and I are stuck on this fucking fuck all planet? Who are you!”

His yell broke the sounds of the night, leaving silence in its wake. Psiioniic just raised an eyebrow at him as, slowly, the gentle noises of the bugs and other soft sounds returned. “Are you done?” he asked.

Karkat glared and sat down. Psiioniic leaned forward. “I’ll tell you what I can.” Karkat scoffed. Psiioniic continued. “Yes, I am General Psiioniic.”

“So you fought in the Clone Wars?” Karkat interrupted.

“Yes, why?”

It was Karkat’s turn to shrug. “That’s the only answer I ever get from Crabdad. ‘Why are we on Tatooine?’ It’s always about escaping the Clone Wars. Do you know why we’re here?”

Psiioniic drummed his long fingers on the tables, his claws hitting rhythmically. Little sparks of blue or red would occasionally fly off the tips of the digits. “There’s a lot you don’t know. I knew a couple. We were all very close. They had eggs they didn’t want harmed in the war. They imprinted. They needed somewhere safe where people wouldn’t know…”

Another scoff escaped Karkat’s throat. “’Where people wouldn’t know.’ What were they, royalty? Jedi? Movie stars?”

Psiioniic shrugged. “Yes, yes, and no.”

Karkat was laughing now. “So I’m supposed to believe that a young couple in forbidden love stole an egg- oh wait, you said eggs so there’s obviously more of us- and dropped us in the hell of the star systems so we’d be safe, and then gallivanted around with you in the meantime saving the galaxy. Is that what I’m supposed to believe? Now I know why you didn’t kill me. You’re crazy!”

He pushed the chair back again and motioned to WV and AR. “Come on, we’re leaving.”

“Karkat,” Psiioniic called from behind him. He turned just as the troll tossed something metal at him. Karkat caught the tube, flicked a button instinctively with the pad of his thumb, and in a moment had lighted red stream of energy inches from Captor’s throat.

He stopped. “How the fuck did I…” Blood rushed in his ears. Psiioniic kept his gaze steady. Karkat dropped the lightsaber but it never hit the floor. Its decent slowed and then reversed, switching off and jumping neatly into Psiioniic’s outstretched hand.

“Who were they?” Karkat growled. “The people you say imprinted on me. Who were they?”

Psiioniic held out the ancient weapon but Karkat didn’t take it. This man, this Jedi or whatever the hell he was, had the audacity to tell him Crabdad wasn’t his real lusus. And yet, a pain behind his eyes told him that there was truth behind it. How the hell had he known how to use that glow stick over there? He rubbed his eyes and shook his head at the object in front of him.

“There was a man named Signless and a woman named Disciple,” Psiioniic started quietly. His voice had turned very soft. It made Karkat’s thoughts seem slow. “You see, a long time ago there was a military incursion on a shipping route-“

“No,” spat Karkat. “We’re not doing the whole ‘Once upon a time’ bit. You’re giving me the fucking cliff notes, I’m gonna call you crazy, and then we’re gonna go our separate ways and forget this ever happened. Okay?”

Even as he said it, though, they both knew that wasn’t what was going to happen. The anger that Karkat had come to rely on so much was giving way to every word Psiioniic said. It had to be true. It made sense.

Psiioniic pocketed the lightsaber and continued, at a faster rate. “Disciple met Signless on Tatooine. They met again later, fell in love but Signless was a Jedi by that point. The war happened. Things… people separated them. The eggs they’d procured had to be protected so they were brought here and left in the Crab’s protection.”

“What happened to them?”

“Well, you grew up just-“

“No, the trolls.”

“Oh,” Psiioniic sighed. “They… Sufferer killed them both.”

Karkat shook his head. He’d heard of Sufferer. Psiioniic was lying about something but he didn’t have the patience to find out just now. He pinched the bridge of his nubby nose and sighed. He’d seen _way_ to many romcoms to know where this was going. Hidden family secrets always lead to-

“Help me deliver these droids to Alderaan,” Psiioniic asked.

-a request. And that request lead to some stupid adventures in which someone, probably him, falls in love and saves the day and blah blah blah but this wasn’t a movie. There was a war going on out there. “Psiioniic,” Karkat said through gritted teeth, “even if I believed you-“they both knew he did- “why the hell would I go with you to Alderaan? To get killed? To get sucked into a war that doesn’t concern me? I don’t think so. I’m going home. I’m gonna get my ass handed to me by _my_ lusus and forget about it. Goodnight.”

“I’ll need the R2, though,” was Psiioniic’s reply. Karkat groaned. A plethora of memories were dancing around his skull like annoying… fucking… ugh, somethings. He remembered sneaking into the bar with John last year to sign up for the Rebellion. It’d been exhilarating. It’d been sheer ignominy when Crabdad had found out. He remembered his conversations with John and others online, those dark nights when he could pretend with them that they were a part of the fight. He remembered every time he had to hide his blood…

He remembered the boxes sent back with the Rebel insignia stamped on their sides arriving at the marketplace and no one waiting to claim them. He shook his head. He wasn’t willing to die if he could help it. “I have a friend. He’ll join your insane crusade in a heartbeat. I’ll take you and the droid to him but first I have to get back to my lusus.”

“Thank you,” Psiioniic said with a little bow. Karkat scoffed and started out the door with his droids, not looking back to see if Psiioniic was following. “Karkat, can I say something cliché?” he heard from behind him.

He groaned. “If I say no will you still say it?”

“Probably,” came the reply, nearer to him. “Trust in the Force.”

Karkat shook his head and started walking again. The Force. Jedi. The lightsaber. That was enough for tonight, fuck you very much. He was going to get it all straightened out as soon as he walked home.

“Karkat,” he heard again.

“What?” he yelled.

Captor held his hands up in mock submission. “I also have a speeder unless, you know, you wanna walk all the fucking way back. I don’t judge.”

Karkat buried his face in his hands again. Just his luck that possibly the last Jedi in the universe was a smart ass.


	5. A Feline’s Duty

The Imperial fleet had been electric ever since the attack on the data archives. And now, with Princess Kanaya prisoner somewhere on board, things were becoming ridiculous. Security that was already supposedly foolproof was doubled and doubled again by Ampora. Not only that, personnel was being fired left and right. If Officer Leijon kept her guard up, she may be promoted to a lieutenant colonel by next week. If she let her guard down, she might be dead.

She gave a little smile at the thought of promotion, though, and then immediately cleared her face but it was too late. Ampora had turned the corner at just the wrong moment. He sneered. “Wipe that smug look off your face, captain,” he spat. He loved getting rank wrong to someone’s face. Nepeta stood at attention, statue still. She knew it was a trap. A ‘Yes, sir’ would be responded with ‘Don’t speak without permission’ and silence would lead to an accusation of disrespect, and she couldn’t risk that so she stuck to the safe option.

“Yes, sir, General Ampora,” she deadpanned.

Something must have really been bothering him because he couldn’t just leave it at that. “Is that a hint of sarcasm I hear?” She stoned her face again. There hadn’t been a minuscule hint of sarcasm, cynicism, or any other -ism in her voice. Why would there be? He circled where she stood at attention, eyes squinted and gills flapping. He stopped behind her and leaned into her side, his chin almost resting on her shoulder.

Units of Stormtroopers marched by without a glance in her direction. Why would they? You don’t question General Ampora. Even the ranking men and woman that did come down this hall turned their heads. Surrounded by thousands of troops and yet still all alone.

“Do you know what you’re standing on, Miss Leijon?” Ampora whispered in her ear. She hesitated for a moment and he filled the silence. “It’s okay. You have permission to speak.”

She spoke evenly. “We’re in the Death Star, sir.”

He nodded, his fins brushing her exposed neck. “And what does the Death Star do?” he crooned into her ear. She didn’t shiver. She’d trained for this.

“It kills planets, sir.”

He nodded. “Now tell me, Miss Leijon, your file says you hail from Naboo, yes?” She nodded. “Joined the Empire at the tender age of fifteen, my, my, you were eager to start your military career now weren’t you?” She didn’t respond. She focused on the fingers trailing up her arm, on the soldier’s sense that told her to tense up. She resisted the urge but couldn’t manage to conceal her flinch as a claw nicked her neck. It was not enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a pale green scratch.

Ampora huffed through his gills. “Tell me, how does a lowly green blood like you make it this far in the ranks? And please, don’t say determination.”

“I survive, sir. The Empire thrives, why not thrive with it?”

The general huffed again and finally leaned back. “So ambition drives the low blood. How extraordinary. I didn’t think your kind had it in you. Well, good to know the Empire can make even the likes of you into something useful.” He stood once again in front of her. “At ease.”

She slipped into the more comfortable stance and stayed that way. Ampora wasn’t done yet, though. He tilted his head and leaned forward. “And if the Empire were to destroy Naboo, would you be angered?”

“My feelings wouldn’t apply to the situation, sir.” She didn’t bother mentioning the fact that Naboo was already under Imperial Military control, and that it’d be idiocy to destroy an Empire occupied planet. Ampora nodded and strode down the hall. Nepeta didn’t move until he had turned the corner. She breathed a sigh of relief as undetectable as she could and continued on her way. As much as Ampora hated it, she was a premier soldier. She wouldn’t be assigned to the Death Star if she wasn’t the best. He knew that.

And she knew he wouldn’t have picked on her if something wasn’t bothering him. The Rebels still had the Death Star plans. That had to be it, she thought as she made her way down the gray halls. A few more ranks and she’d learn these things from memos but at the moment intuition and gossip would have to suffice. Even then, intuition was the most of it. She didn’t keep very many friends at her day job.

Well, there was one person she liked to have around.

Ever since her promotion past warrant officer, it wasn’t easy to fit in with a crowd. Anyone below her thought she was too high ranking and anyone above her thought her status was too low to be bothered with, all but one.

As she made her way into a common room she smiled at Zahhak as she passed him. They couldn’t talk long. All they could ever have were passing conversations. “Corporal,” she started, looking up at him. He was a giant compared to her petite but muscular frame.

He shook his big head and grinned tightly. “Its staff sergeant now, officer, got promoted yesterday.”

“Congratulations on the purr- promotion,” she smiled. No cat puns. Not here. Not now.

They stepped aside so as not to stand in the middle of the room. The lounge was for higher ups but it wasn’t by chance that Nepeta had run into Equius. She memorized his schedule, which she’d have to redo now that he’d been promoted, dammit.

Not that she was required to memorize his duties or sneak glances at his weekly reports, she just liked to keep tabs on the giant blue blood. He’d never admit it because of her caste, but he respected how far she’d made it up the ranks, and she knew that.

He frowned at her and shifted his shoulders, muscles rippling under his jacket. It was a wonder his clothes didn’t rip at the seams. “Are you all right, Leijon?” he asked, wiping some sweat out of his eyes. He was always sweating and it was always disgusting but Nepeta didn’t mind. Back home she’d come back from many a hunting trip simply dripping in blood so what was a little sweat between friends?

She smiled at him and nodded. “I’m alright, Zahhak, just a little flustered. I want my units to be top shape, what with all the excitement that’s been going on with the Rebels lately.”

Equius put a massive hand on her shoulder. She fought the urge to lean into his touch. “General Ampora will make sure your units get where they need to go. He’s a strong leader. You’re a strong part of the Empire, and us troops on the ground are strong as well.”

She smiled at him. He lifted his hand for a moment. She stiffened. Beads of sweat erupted on his brow as he realized he’d almost papped her. She smiled awkwardly and took half a step back.

“And you’ll do great in your new position. It was good talking with you, Zahhak.” She smiled again and turned away. Inside she sighed. He wanted to protect her because he knew her blood color that was all. Sweet, but purrtentious. She wasn’t going to start a pale romance on inferiority and a blood prejudiced power balance. That just screamed unhealthy.

Still, she thought as she sat down at one of the public computers, he is sweet, but I don’t have time for that right now.

She glanced around the room to make sure, like always, that no one was paying attention. Why would they? Who would conduct matters of high importance in a public area full of high ranking, dangerous Empire personnel? No one sane, that was for sure.

Nepeta took a deep breath and opened a communication account in Equius’ name. She ignored the guilt in her chest as she typed up a message and sent it quickly. After deleting the sent box and closing the appropriate tabs she left the room went back to organizing her troops, pretending she hadn’t done what she’d just done.


	6. Wind in the Desert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone had a good 4/13

A gross feeling grew steadily in the pit of Karkat’s meal digester but he really didn’t have the fucking time for it right now. Right now he had to get these trouble making droids back home, this dickbag Jedi to John at Anchorhead, and his tired ass to bed. What he wouldn’t give for a real live recuperacoon at that moment.

He looked out into the desert night and huffed. He hated having other people pilot for him, it made him unnecessarily uncomfortable, but this Psiioniic guy seemed to know how to handle a speeder well enough. Karkat glanced over at him once again, for what must have been the millionth time. He couldn’t stop looking at him. He felt like he’d seen the fucker before but couldn’t place it. He squinted at the skinny, dusty man but of course that did nothing to jog his lazy memory so he sat back and let the hum of the engines fill the cabin. It was a nice speeder. There was room enough for the droids and the trolls. He wondered how an old hermit could afford something like this.

At least, he thought the guy was old. You could never tell with trolls. Their biology was one big, beautiful canvas of thousands of years of natural selection picking the most asshole-y trolls’ slurry and somehow mashing together a species of fucking classist dunderfucks who somehow fell ass first into possibly the most brilliant military regime in galactic history. Their species knew jackassery like the back of their collective hand but damn if they didn’t set a fine example of how to kick some ass. He smiled. He was picking up some of this asshole’s vernacular already. Nice.

Outside, his eyes were met with smooth grays and silky black silhouettes of distant hills on a backdrop of millions of sparking stars, all suns for people far, far away. He didn’t take his eyes off of them when he spoke.

“Hey, you said red blood doesn’t bother you. Why?” he asked, breaking the silence. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Psiioniic take a hand off the speeder yoke and rub his forearm.

“Signless had red blood,” Psiioniic sighed. Karkat could tell this man didn’t have a lot of social interaction, either. “He was my Padawan. My Master believed he was destined for something, but she died before he could be trained. I took him in. He was the best friend I ever had.”

Karkat wanted to care, and he didn’t want that cynically. There was probably an interesting story behind those few sentences, possibly a beautiful matespirtship tale to be told, but right now he really was just trying to figure out things for himself so he connected a few dots in his head and steeled himself for what was coming next. “So Crabdad was his lusus, not mine.”

He looked over and saw Psiioniic nodding. His breathing came automatically. He didn’t want to think about it, but it unfortunately fit in with every other thing wrong with his life. A troll with red blood and a segregate lusus. How much more unnatural could he get?

Another question that had been bugging him prepared itself on his lips but never got the chance to be asked. He forgot it completely at the sight of the massive Jawa Sandcrawler smoking before them. Psiioniic pulled the speeder up and stopped.

As soon as the canopy unlatched Karkat gagged. The air hung thick with acrid smoke that stung his eyes. He pulled his goggles on and followed Psiioniic, who had grown very quiet. The sight of the littered Jawa bodies shut him up too. They were everywhere but surprisingly unbloodied.

“Can’t be sand- sand people,” he coughed. “To… methodical.”

Psiioniic nodded, his face turned towards the Sandcrawler itself, or more specifically, the pockmarks on the side of the Sandcrawler. “Karkat,” he called, his voice calm, “if your brain is as smart as your speech hole, tell me who the fuck has access to weapons that would fuck something up like that.”

As shaken as Karkat was from the scene before him, he still had the decency to roll his eye at being treated like a wriggler, no matter how flawlessly phrased. He made his way over to the man and glared up at the side of the machine. “Imperial troops,” he said almost immediately.

Psiioniic nodded and did something very dramatic or very cool, depending on how you looked at it. He raised his hands up, palms facing each other, like he was about to start the universe’s greatest fucking slow clap. Instead of classic mockery, though, the air between his hands fucking exploded. Karkat jumped back with a yelp but there was no need. The explosion was easily contained by the man who now wore a slight smirk. Psiioniic examined the lines of crackling energy between his fingers for a moment then nodded, walking back to the speeder.

“Karkat, Imperial forces fuck up a Jawa Sandcrawler. Why?”

Karkat jumped in the speeder, ignoring the beeping droids behind him. “To find something,” he answered. Psiioniic gunned the engines and waited. “Something, ah, valuable,” he continued.

“Like what?” Psiioniic prompted him.

It hit Karkat harder than the Raiders had. “Like droids carrying a Rebel communique. They traced the buyers. They went to Crabdad.” The words fell out of his mouth without him really meaning to say them. Psiioniic nodded and pushed the accelerator.

 

The sky played with the idea of sunrise as they sped in silence towards Karkat’s hive. He didn’t question how Psiioniic knew the way. The pillar of smoke rose ominously in the distance as they neared. Karkat tried to keep his breathing steady.

Before the speeder had even stopped, Karkat was detaching the canopy and jumping out.  The vaporators were blazing next to the generator. It must have been shot in… in what? He looked around, trying to take everything in. There were blaster shots over everything. It was a fucking warzone. Karkat was dimly aware of Psiioniic warning him not to go into the house but dammit it was his hive and no matter what he said Crabdad was his fucking lusus.

He didn’t look down into the garden. He didn’t question why.

Ugly pockmarks from blasters decorated the door and the halls. He peeked into his room. Ransacked, but no blood. His legs carried him down the stairs and past the little kitchen. He stopped dead under the archway into the garden. Funny, for a dead crab he looked an awful lot like a dead spider, flat on his back, legs all curled in on top of him. He’d landed in the flower bed, or maybe he’d crawled into the overgrown mess of purple himself.

It was silent. He didn’t like it. “Sorry it wasn’t me that finally kicked your ass for good,” he muttered, stepping into the space. His throat burned along with his eyes now tinting watery red and that sucked but he guessed that was what happened when you lose your custodian. It was going to happen someday, he just didn’t expect fucking homicide to be involved.

“Don’t move.”

Like an idiot, Karkat swiveled around to meet a blaster pointed directly between his sight spheres. A soot covered face glared evenly back at him, donned with a grimace fit to send all kinds of fucking shivers down Karkat’s spine. He actually felt the tendons in his hands attached to his claws stiffen and the evolutionary backwash excuse for hackles on the back of his neck fly up.

The bulky man in front of him pushed the messy black hair out of his face and scrutinized Karkat with piercing blue eyes. Karkat swatted the gun away from his face.

“John!” he, yelled, incredulous. The bastard before him laughed out loud and stood shaking. Karkat shoved his friend/would-be-killer down hard. John landed in the dirt hard, his pudgy but muscular body making a thud as it hit. The six foot tall kid laid in the ground laughing in what Karkat hoped was relief. John didn’t get up, even as the laughter subsided. He lay on his back and tried to breathe even.

“Who the fuck do you think you are? I know you’re near blind as fuck but are your eyes really that bad?” Karkat yelled down at him. John’s dazed smile ran away from his face as he stared up at Karkat. “My motherfucking lusus is on its back, deader than you’re going be in about two minutes, and you point a damn stick of death in my seeing globes before offering, I don’t know, condolences? Questions? Okay, Space John Wayne color me pink and call me the Empress if you weren’t about to kill me just then. Huh?”

John took a deep breath and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees, smiling sadly up at the guy he’d almost shot. “Honestly, Kar, we both know _you_ would have shot _me_ if I tried to offer you condolences.”

It was true. Still, Karkat shook his head at the human. John, the kid who always managed to get tangled up in shit that was beyond him. Even now. Fuck. Karkat though a grown ass assassin was behind him. When had John learned to do that, what the fuck?

“I’m not helping you up,” Karkat spat. John shrugged, picked up the gun, and pushed himself to his feet. “So what?” Karkat yelled with a shrug of his shoulders, “You leave one day, say you’re going the Rebellion, and come back like some fucking mercenary ready to off someone. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to give you a blaster. I’m surprised you haven’t shot yourself yet.”

Karkat glared at him. John was smiling in a way that suggested pity and if there was one thing Karkat was not going to have right now it was the shitty knock off designer handbag of emotions, latest rip off of the season, trademark: pity.

John shrugged. “I’ve been training. It’s not actually a real blaster.” Karkat shook his head and waited. John continued, his smile faltering. “I was coming by to check on you, actually. I wanted to see you before the suns rose. I saw smoke. I’ve only been here for a few minutes.” His words started to run into each other. “When I heard the speeder outside and voices and someone coming down the stairs I panicked and-“

“Okay,” Karkat stopped him. He rubbed his eyes. “Okay.”

“Karkat. I’m so sorry.”

“No.” Karkat shook his head and faced John. “No time. We got shit to do. Leave all the sappy shit here. Grab the fake blaster and get your ass upstairs. We got shit to do.” He actually felt John’s idiotic, shit eating grin returning as they ascended the stairs together. He was still shaky as he spoke, though.

“What kind of shit are we talking about here?” John asked with an excited edge in his ragged voice.

Inside, Karkat was thankful John was dropping Crabdad. He wasn’t going to talk about it. He couldn’t.  Instead, he focused on hyping John “Smiley Bastard” Egbert up. “You still want to be in the Rebellion, right?”

John nodded beside him as they stepped out into the early morning sunlight. “Yeah, but it’s gonna be a full rotation until recruiters that don’t know my age come around.”

“Well happy early wriggler day, Johnny,” Karkat said as they walked out of the hive. He pointed at Psiioniic with his middle finger. The asshole was dramatically leaning on the speeder, cape fluttering in the early morning wind. Fuck did Karkat hate him. “No need to dick off an entire rotation. We’re going the Rebellion right now.”

 

They left the hive burning. It was Karkat’s idea and no one objected. It just didn’t seem right to leave Crabdad on his back till the calcium in his carapace eroded away into nothingness. They climbed into Psiioniic’s speeder solemnly. John offered to drive, what with the suns rising and all, but Psiioniic politely told him that in his day he’d seen enough sunlight to handle this. They strapped WV to the top of the now crowded speeder and made started for Mos Eisley.

Karkat rubbed his face and leaned against the window as Psiioniic briefed John on what was going on. John, of course, was in awe, and excitement, and probably had a boner underneath his mechanic overalls in his dumb want to get off Tatooine. Karkat was having a little harder time in enjoying the news that they, now, were getting into an interstellar war with the most powerful person in the galaxy.

“I’d rather not be handed over to a bunch of Threshecutioners after getting a damn paper cut, fuck you very much.”

It was a road trip from hell; John played an award-worthy role of an annoying little brother. “So are you going to be a Jedi now?” he asked softly to Karkat from the seat behind him.

A groan was all he could muster. “No I’m not ‘going to be a Jedi now’ you delusional fuck,” he shot back, imitating John’s deep voice. “Fuck that acid trip old religion. Where has the Force gotten me?” he scoffed.

Psiioniic shrugged. “It can be useful. For someone always whining about execution I thought you’d, I don’t know, what to learn to learn maybe the one skill that would save your wriggler ass in a fight with ‘ol Condy?”

Again, a masterful scoff escaped Karkat’s chapped lips. “Please. I’m going to fight her Imperial Condescension when John here gets laid, aka, never.”

“Rude,” John muttered with laugh.

Karkat pretended to sleep the rest of the way. He wished he could actually fall asleep but he’d been up to long and his head still hurt from the Raider attack. The idea of being a Jedi was tempting. A lightsaber would be useful in a fight, and apparently he had some fuckery in his brain that meant he already knew some of the skills. He wondered if that had to do with this Signless guy and that Disciple girl that had imprinted on him. But they died in the end too so what did it matter?

He shifted uncomfortably. He closed his eyes tighter. A nagging voice in the back of his head knew he was going to end up doing something stupid like half-assing the training to becoming a magical glow stick wielder and fuck off to some battle and get his head chopped of, probably by something bearing the Imperial seal and, and if he was lucky to die in a blaze of glory, by the hands of the Fuchsia Queen herself. Hell, it’d be a fucking way to go down.

“We’re here,” came a quiet voice. John was shaking him softly. He rubbed the tired out of his eyes and put his goggles back on. One day at a time, he told himself. I can decide to secure a nice little apartment somewhere on a nice little planet or get my military career kick started later. Right now, first things first.

“Is anyone else fucking starving?” he yawned.

At that moment the unmistakable sound of a blaster gearing up met his ears. Karkat froze and then slowly looked around. Three Stormtroopers stood around the speeder. He gulped and looked down at his shirt, thankful now that Psiioniic had let him wash the blood off his face and out of his clothes.

“And the sleepy one is Craane. Are we breaking some law?” Psiioniic was asking the trooper with a stripe on her armor. She leaned forward to look over the speeder.

“Do you always have an R2 unit strapped to your vehicle?” she asked dryly.

Psiioniic chuckled. “Only when I’m feeling eccentric.”

Karkat wished he had a weapon. He tried to look like he was not looking at John in the mirror. John’s face had turned cold again. Funny. It didn’t even look like John when he did that. His eyes looked older and his lips set into something grim. It wasn’t anything specific, just suddenly his face was someone else’s. How the fuck did John do that? He could go from a dopey goon to a soldier in two seconds flat.

He snuck a glance at his own face. He hoped his eyes weren’t bloodshot. Good thing for goggles. Everything else though.… His hair was ragged. His cuts were thankfully covered by his scarf. He did not want to see the beat up, tired, scared face hiding under all his protective gear. He hoped no one else would have to see it for a while, either. Especially not fucking Imperial Stormtroopers.

“Sir, I’m going to need you to step out of the speeder.”

Karkat swallowed hard, but Psiioniic laughed and waved his hand. “You don’t need us to step out of the speeder.”

_Who the fuck did this guy think he was fooling? You can’t just-_

“I don’t need you to step out of the speeder.”

Karkat jerked his head around to face Psiioniic, whose eyebrow moved like he was winking, and then John, who had lost the sniper glare and now looked just as fucked over as Karkat felt.

“You never saw these droids.”

“I never saw these droids.”

Karkat pulled down his scarf and mouthed “What the fuck?” to John. John shook his head.

“You’ll be letting us leave now.”

“I’ll be letting you leave now.”

And they just drove off.

“Can I take you up on that Padawhatever…?” Karkat mumbled out. John nodded and sputtered out other praise that Psiioniic was obviously enjoying. When was the last time this guy ever got to show off?

Psiioniic laughed a husky, genuine laugh. “Later. That’s just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.” His voice turned serious as his red and blue goggles scanned the city of low domed buildings and slinking patrons. “We got to be careful as fuck in his shit hole of a trading port. I for one, am gonna ride this dumb ass adventure out so if you don’t want to be tragic character development I suggest you two do the same.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. If movies had taught him anything it was that this crusty motherfucker was being offed first thing. Him or the unimportant side characters, also known as John.

“We need to find a pilot to take us to Alderaan, and I know just the hellhole to find one in,” Psiioniic continued.

“Well I’m a pretty good pilot,” John piped in from the back seat.

“Have you ever flown anything with a hyperdrive?” Psiioniic asked sardonically.

John sat back in a huff. “No.”

Psiioniic nodded. “We’re going to need a pilot. I would just steal a ship but we can’t risk losing time getting caught. Some of the greatest pilots in the galaxy hail from Tatooine. Shouldn’t be too hard to find a scumbag willing to help us out for a bit.”

With that they pulled up at a little cantina deep in the city. Karkat had never been to this part of Mos but apparently John had because he groaned and threw his head back. Karkat gave him a what-the-fuck face.

John jumped out of the canopy. “I had my first bar fight in that place,” he explained, pulling up the sleeve on his jacket to reveal a nasty, still healing scar.

Karkat threw up his hands. “Who the hell are you, Egbert?” he choked out.

John shrugged and followed Psiioniic into the bar. Karkat took a moment to assess how far out of his element he was, and upon deciding there was not a scale which could properly convey how fucked he was now he took a deep breath and said the two words that always brought him the courage to carry on in times of adversity.

“Fuck it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Karkat likes calling John Johnny because it has six letters : )


	7. Cool Kid and Dog Girl

They didn’t let the droids in, which angered AR. The tin man almost got in a fight with the bouncer until John pulled him away. WV’s robotic laughter could be heard ringing through the open door behind them as they entered the greasy cantina.

Karkat stifled a cough. Even through his scarf he couldn’t help but be overpowered by all the smoke in the air. An annoying tune played by some creatures on a shitty stage drifted over the heads of the patrons. It was a fairly large place but crowded. Still, it didn’t take long for Psiioniic to muscle his way into an empty seat at the bar. John made his way over to an empty stretch of wall and leaned into it, watching the scene with a dead face. Karkat followed him.

John was an idiot, sure, but so far in under two hours that idiot had pulled a gun on him and showed multiple signs of being what the kids today like to call a fucking badass so he decided it’d be safer to stand next to the idiot than be caught in a bar fight without him by his side.

“How are you not fucking gagging?” Karkat choked out as he pulled his goggles up onto his forehead. The light was too dim to wear the tinted lenses. He felt exposed.

John shrugged and looked about the room. Karkat watched him.  He’d been gone for months. Karkat had been starting to wonder if he hitched a ride on some shady cargo freighter. He seemed older. Hadn’t his wriggling day passed? It must have. John leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and a sigh heaving his defined chest from time to time. Wait. Defined? When the hell did John get ripped? He blinked. Nope. The muscles were still there. It was a little hard to see under his mechanic overalls and the old, patched and oil stained jacket, but those were actually real muscles under there.

Karkat shook his head and looked out over the bar, trying to avoid eye contact. There weren’t any trolls, as far as he could see, just a lot of scumbags. Aliens from all different backgrounds drank and smoked and talked shit throughout the place. Psiioniic was making rounds, leaning in closer than Karkat would have wanted to towards dirty faces and squinting eyes. Ugly mugs, most of them.

He turned his eyes down suddenly. One of those ugly mugs was coming his way. He couldn’t let them see his eyes. Even if you weren’t a troll, the Empress was making it damn clear that lowbloods were just that: low. Who knew what the people in here would do to him?

It made a clicking noise in its throat, followed by something that sounded like, “John fucking Egbert.”

Karkat saw John’s boots move as he pushed himself off the wall. “Tak,” was all he said, coolly. Karkat looked at the other pair of boots. They were big and dusty and had something splattered on the side that Karkat really wanted to believe was some sugary syrup and not someone’s life fluid.

The thing spoke again, this time in broken Galactic Basic. “I thought I told you, you in here more times, I take your face off.”

John’s boots took a step towards the other pair. Karkat flinched as someone screamed but it wasn’t anywhere near him or John. Karkat looked up. The band rumbled to a stop in a chorus of squawking instruments. All eyes in the bar were turned towards a dimly lit booth nestled in the back. From where Karkat was standing he could only see half of a patron sitting in the booth. He didn’t have to wonder what they looked like, though, because the body slumped forward and tumbled out of the seat, a shiny sword of all things sticking out of their chest.

A sigh coming from the booth resonated through the snapshot still air of the cantina. A red shoe slunk out of the seat across from the body, followed by tight black jeans, then a tattered red jacket and finally a head of styled blond hair. A scrawny kid no older than John stepped out of the booth and looked down at what Karkat presumed was his victim. He placed a shoe on its chest and yanked the sword out.

“Sorry.”

“Come on,” the bartender yelled, slamming down a drink. “I got a business to run here, Strider, and it’s a bar, not a mortuary!”

Strider pulled a few credits out of his pocket and tossed them across the bar. The greasy alien scowled as he took the money, but signaled to the band to keep playing. As if someone had pressed play on a remote, the bar came back to life like nothing had happened.

Karkat looked at John, who didn’t look surprised. The ugly fucker that was trying to start a fight growled in John’s face before marching off to go dick around in other people's business. John turned to Karkat with a sheepish, silly grin that hadn’t been there moments before. “Whoo,” he breathed, “That was a close one.”

Before Karkat could properly and eloquently convey how fucking moronic John’s shitty excuse for a sane way to come out of almost having your face ripped off was, Psiioniic stepped up to them.

“What’s the word, Sparky?” Karkat asked.

Psiioniic scowled at him. “Never utter those fucking syllables again. Fuck.” He rolled his eyes, not an easy task to convey with solid observing globes but apparently possible. “Anyways I think I got us a pilot.”

“Really?” John looked around the room. “Who?”

Psiioniic pointed to the body that was being pulled off the floor. “Well,” he said, “It was gonna be that poor fucker but the asshole that stabbed him is actually a way better choice. Come on, I’ll introduce him to you.”

Of course it would be. John’s whispered chorus of objections and “You can’t be serious” and “No way, not going to fly with him” and “Please, what the hell” followed Psiioniic across the bar, who waved them off with a grunt.

They moved out of the way so that the body could be dragged away from them and then piled into the uncomfortable booth. A curious pair eyed the miscellaneous trio from across the table. Karkat glared at the boy, Strider. He looked like a skinny idiot, and probably was too. This assumption wasn’t even based on that fact that he’d just killed a guy. Oh no. As dramatic as that was, even Karkat could admit it was kind of cool. But no. Oh no. This piece of shit was wearing sunglasses. Inside. That’s just dick 101 and right then and there Karkat decided he wasn’t going to deal with that kind of shit. Ever.

Then there was the… girl? Woman? Furry? She was amazingly taller than John, by a full head at least, and blinked at them through enormously round spectacles with practically glowing green eyes. She had a kind, dark face as far as Karkat could tell, and sported a tuff of hair on her chin she wasn’t uncomfortable about at all. Karkat wasn’t looking at the glasses or facial hair, though. He was a little bit stuck on the snow white ears sprouting from her head. She smiled at him. He was pretty sure she had fangs.

“So,” Psiioniic began, leaning forward, “You just stabbed my designated driver.”

“And a hello to you too,” Strider replied evenly, with a hint of a smirk pulling at his lips.

“Why’d you stab the guy?” John demanded suddenly with wide eyes. Karkat scowled at him. It was going so cool. Why the fuck did he ruin that?Strider grimaced. “He was gonna shoot me over some money. Can’t blame a guy for defending himself.”

Strider grimaced. “He was gonna shoot me over some money. Can’t blame a guy for defending himself.” 

Karkat was about to berate John when John furrowed his brow and leaned forward. “Snowman?” he asked. Strider nodded solemnly. What the fuck? What did this have to do with Outer Rim crime lords? John’s demeanor broke once again, this time into an apologetic grin and a stupid nod like as if to say, _Yup, we’ve all been there._ Even Psiioniic looked confused as shit.

“Okay…” he said slowly. “Do you want Karkat and I too leave so you two can mysteriously eye fuck across a table or can we get to business?”

“I wasn’t eye fucking him,” John whispered furiously. Karkat, situated between the two shitwrigglers, eyed the table top and wondered casually how many time’s he’d have to bash his head into it to kill himself.

“We need passage to Alderaan,” Psiioniic explained. “Guy you stabbed said he’d steal your ship for the amount of money I could get him. I’d rather skip the thievery and just bribe you myself.”

The girl’s ears twitched. Strider shrugged. “Passage to Alderaan. Done. When can we leave?”

Psiioniic blinked. “Uh, right now, if possible. Have you taken an interest in entertaining freeloaders or did you just like my pretty face?” he asked, sliding out of the booth. The girl tugged on his sleeve and Strider nodded, slipping out of the booth as well.

“Well,” Strider said, checking the strap on his belt. The sword hung securely. “If Snowman’s creeps catch up with me in the usual fashion I’ll be dead anyway so why not give you a lift while I run for my life?”

“Too late.” Karkat swiveled around. It was the girl speaking. She pointed to a group of shady looking aliens wrestling their way into the bar. Karkat growled. No way. Fuck that. He bent his knees and looked around. If he could fight a giant crab every day he could fight a few assholes. Beside him, he could see Strider taking out his sword.

“Jade,” the smuggler said. The girl nodded in response. “Go light up the engines. Be ready to go when we get there.” She nodded and started towards an exit in the back. Karkat shrugged. Fine. The four of them could take half a dozen stupor slime drunks.

The pack of scumbags had spotted Strider and started to shove their way through the bar. Karkat felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Psiioniic. Psiioniic smiled and shoved the lightsaber into Karkat’s chest.

“Imma go make sure our metal friends make it to the platform okay.”

“What the fuck?” Karkat yelled.

Psiioniic gave a little wave as he followed the path Jade had taken. “Toodles! Try not to die!” the crazy old fucker called as he was lost in the cloud of patrons.

“Toodle my bulge, asshole!” he called but it was too late. On one side of him Strider was raising his sword; on the other side John was readying his fists. Karkat looked down at the metal tube in his hands. Shit. How the hell did he turn it on last time? Was there a switch? A password? Did you fucking bop or twist the fucker?

“Hey, you’re Egbert, right?” Strider asked as calmly as if he was just casually making small talk over lunch.

John looked over Karkat to give a goofy, bashful smile. “Yeah, that’d be me. Do I have a reputation now?”

For the first time Strider actually smiled. “Yeah, a little bit.”

Karkat groaned and slapped the lightsaber into his hand angrily. “Stop fucking flirting you fucking nookwhiffers!”

The bar had become aware of the growing tension. A circle of clear space opened up and surrounded them as the six delinquents approached. The one closest to the front laughed. She was a small, grimy woman with a sneer.

“Well, well, well,” she laughed. “Strider and Egbert in the same bar? Must be my lucky day.”

Karkat didn’t even look up from the fucking puzzle in his hands. “Who the fuck actually says ‘Well, well, well’? Spare me the melodrama and try to kill us already.”

A blaster shot screamed past his ear. He looked up. Fuck. He didn’t think she’d actually do it. Karkat looked from John to Strider. They were grinning!

John nodded and all fucking fiery hell broke loose. John punched one in the face. Strider took an arm off and Karkat lost track of the rest. He dove behind a wall and poked the lightsaber some more. “Come on! Work, fucker!” he cursed. Sounds of the bar fight met his hearing wells. He took a deep breath and held the saber in one hand. He twisted it around a bit until his thumb fell on a little button like thingy. He pushed it and yelped as a stream of red shot out with a buzz. Glad he wasn’t holding it backward. “Now that’s more like it.”

He leaped out from behind the wall to face-

No one. The fight was over. The bar was already settling back into its stupor, now that the excitement had fizzled out. John and Strider stood, breathing heavily, over six unconscious or bleeding bodies. Karkat cringed as John went for a high five. Strider shook his head. John looked around and caught sight of Karkat, standing there like an idiot, holding the lightsaber.

“Kar? What the hell is that?” John panted.

Karkat switched it off. “Nothing. Fuck you.” He really hoped his blush wasn’t showing in the dim bar light. In an effort to not become even more of a fucking embarrassment, he looked past John. “Uh, guys. We should go.”

John and Strider whipped around to see the Stormtroopers at the door. “Maybe,” John whispered, “if we’re really quiet, they won’t see us.”

Strider nodded and the three of them started walking as nonchalantly as one could after incapacitating half a dozen people in a bar fight towards the back exit. Karkat pulled his goggles down and resisted the urge to start fucking whistling a shanty.

“Hey, you three!” a voice called across the bar. They walked faster.

“Come back here!”

“We need a distraction,” Strider chimed.

“Then let’s fuck something up,” Karkat growled. He tapped a particularly large alien on the shoulder. It bared its teeth at him and growled. Karkat gulped and hoped this would work.

“The green guy over there,” Karkat nodded in an ambiguous direction. There were a lot of green guys. “He was bragging about fucking up your ship.”

Silence. Karkat didn’t break eye contact, well, as best as he could, it had a lot of eyes. The Stormtroopers were probably at the bar by now. Please. Please. Please. This one fucking thing. This one fucking thing to not look like a total ass in front of badass Egbert and cool kid Strider. Come on. Come on!

The white of Stormtrooper armor crept into the corner of his eye. “You three,” she said behind him, “freeze.”

Karkat closed his eyes.

He then opened them as he heard the big guy’s fist connect with her helmet. She fired her weapon. The guy barreled past her and punched some poor green drunk in the face. The other troopers started firing. Bar patrons whipped out blasters. John and Strider grabbed Karkat and the three of them barreled out the back door, laughing their asses off.

Even with his goggles on, Karkat still flinched at the sunlight but he didn’t care. He howled and struggled for breath sprinting alongside Strider and John. The three stormed through side streets and alleyways, kicking up dust as they went, looking for the entire world like three teenage hooligans having a good time.

They followed Strider into a landing port. Their laughter subsided as they shot past a pair of Stormtroopers at the open gates. Shots hit the walls behind them as all three of them rammed into a wall trying to turn the sharp corner leading into the landing pad. An enormous cargo ship was waiting. Karkat caught a quick glimpse of the name, written in fucking comic sans, in the side: Millennium Falcon.

That fucker.

They ran up the ramp that was already closing and tumbled onto the ground as the floor beneath them flew out from under their feet. The artificial gravity kicked in while all three of them were tossed midair, slamming them all into a panting pile on the ground.

Their frantic breathing filled the metallic hallway. Karkat thought he was going to throw up. He pulled his scarf away from his face and tried desperately to intake air with a normal cadence. His blood was rushing so loud in his ears he didn’t even hear Strider yelling at him. When two hands pulled him up by his collar he yelped. The ringing was just starting to go away.

“Help him!” Strider was yelling, frantically pointing to John gasping for air, flailing. Karkat jumped onto John, straddling him but it was like riding a bucking hoofbeast for fuck's sake. His face was turning red.

“Hold him down!” Karkat yelled. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He moved over so that Strider could take his place. He shoved his hand into John’s jacket pockets and his overalls. Nothing. Fuck. Where was it?

“Boo!” John gasped.

“What the fuck!” Karkat shrieked.

“Boot!” Strider yelled.

Karkat looked. There was a little pocket on John’s left boot. Karkat tore it open and ripped the little plastic device out before shoving it into John’s hand. John shoved it into his mouth and breathed deeply. Strider rolled off of him as John calmed down, the angry flush receding from his cheeks. A few tears were still welling in his eyes.

“You have asthma?” Strider yelled.

John inhaled another puff from his inhaler and nodded before smiling through watery eyes. He coughed. “Yeah. I guess it’s a little,” he coughed again, “ironic that I can survive a tangle with Snowman’s henchmen and then, like, almost die by my own lungs.”

Strider laughed and fell onto his back. Karkat followed suit so that now all three of them were lying on their backs, staring up at the metal pipes and tiles on the ship’s ceiling. The low rumble of engines somewhere filled the air around them. Strider rolled over to face Karkat, one hand supporting his head and the other on his hips. Karkat took off his goggles and rolled his eyes.

“That was a nice little trick you pulled back there. What’s your name?” He had some kind of slight accent. Karkat couldn’t place it. It made the middle of his words pick up a little bit. Where was that from, the southern hemisphere on some planets?

“Karkat Vantas.”

The boy held out a hand. “Dave Strider. Pleased to meet you, bro.”

“Fuck off.”

Dave laughed. Karkat scowled. He shook his head. For some reason, he felt like he wasn’t going to get rid of this fucker for a long ass time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half way through this fic I'd realized that I'd been imagining Dave in a pseudo-Keith-esque outfit so that's where the red jacket came from lol.  
> A note on Jade: she was inspired by the way the artist gelasticat draws her on Tumblr. I asked the artist if I could link them in my fic to show people their Jade, and they said yes. So here are some of their amazing drawings.  
> http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com/image/159776867997  
> http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com/image/158365836697  
> http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com/image/158334379972  
> http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com/image/157726018317  
> She's an amazing artist, and you can follow her at http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com


	8. Space

Karkat considered the universe to be a pretty orderly place. One of the constants it always followed, for example, was to never give Karkat a fucking rest at all ever. Of course, a time like this would prove to be no exception. He’d just caught his breath when a downright cheery voice sounded over the speakers.

“Heyyyyy Dave,” it said, deep and bubbly. “Not to alarm you but we got a couple of star destroyers on our tail.”

Dave groaned and pushed himself off the floor. He stretched for a moment before running off to some other part of the ship. John turned over to Karkat as soon as his footsteps stopped echoing down the corridor.

“Man,” John breathed, “is that kid cool or what? Did you see him taking out those thugs?” Karkat sat up and glared at John. John didn’t care. Once his shockingly blue eyes started to sparkle it was hard to get them to stop. John sat there smiling like an idiot, totally not catching the drift of what a fucking glare is supposed to get across.

“I think he’s probably a fucking idiot,” Karkat started; avoiding admitting to the fact that, no, he hadn’t seen Dave fight. He was too busy fighting with a glorified laser pointer. He pushed himself up with a groan fit to excite cringes from doctors everywhere and finished, “and I know you’re defiantly an imbecilic, asthmatic, blind ass wriggler, too.”

John rolled his eyes as he stood up and bounded happily down the metal grated floor towards the cockpit. Karkat stomped. Yup. Hollow. It was a smuggling ship all right. He let John run on ahead as he judged the hunk of metal. It was fucking ancient. This piece of shit was what Dave had been bragging about in the bar? What an ass.

Lazily, he strolled into the beautiful fucking display of moronic chaos that had taken hold of the small cockpit. Jade was in the copilot seat frantically pushing buttons and flipping switches, and doing so while calmly and happily answering any dumbass question that spewed from John’s speaking hole. Dave was muttering numbers under his breath while Psiioniic nonchalantly flipped a switch and pushed a button here and there. Obviously, Dave was not appreciating the backseat driving. He swatted Psiionic’s hand whenever he could.

Karkat cleared his throat to point out physically the stupidest part of it all. The four assholes shut up and turned to look at him. He pointed past them to the windows. They all turned to see the giant star destroyer looming directly in front of them. John yelped. Dave slapped Psiioniic’s hand again and yelled at Jade.

“Hyperspace!”

Jade laughed and shook her head, pushing a few more buttons. “Silly, if we jumped now without the proper thrust from a fully revved drive we’d be torn to pieces at an atomic level!” She took half a second to slap his shoulder playfully.

Karkat flinched as a silent burst of laser fire sped past them from the Imperial ship. He felt sick. Dave flipped switches and pulled levers and yanked the strange joystick in front of him to avoid fire and slapped buttons to shoot back some fire of his own, all while spewing out an annoying, continuous line of commentary from his speech hole. Karkat grabbed a grip in the low ceiling and tried not to throw up. Lasers all around, spinning stars and Imperil ships and the only noise was Dave’s soliloquy and Jade’s humming.

He’d never experienced it before. Of course, space was silent. He wasn’t a damn wriggler. He knew that. But _fuck_ was it unnerving. Plus there was the unnatural calmness. The gravity kept them glued to the floor. The jerking scenery outside the glass was not paired with a loss of balance or a lurch. He could stand a coin on its side and it wouldn’t fall. It didn’t feel right.

“Ready?” Jade sang as their shield took another hit.

“We’re doing it man!” Dave yelled. “We’re making it happen!” He pushed up a lever just as a red beam of hellfire streamed straight towards them. Suddenly the stars pulled back into tight lines and Karkat’s stomach jumped to his throat. As quickly as it began the feeling of being stretched ended and the windows were filled not with star destroyers or a dusty planet, but serene, empty space dotted with pinpricks of light.

A sharp, robotic sigh filled the cockpit. Karkat turned around to see WV shaking its domed head. AR simply waved a black hand to shoo away the smaller droid’s nonsense and walked away.

“That was awesome!” John yelled, punching the air. His excitement wasn’t mirrored by anyone else in the cockpit. Psiioniic offered a tight smile and raised his eyebrows at Dave, who was frowning.

“Am I the only one seeing a problem here?” Psiioniic asked.

“Jade,” Dave started slowly, “where’s the planet?”

One of Jade’s ears folded down as she thought about this. “Hum,” she pouted. “You know I didn’t really think about that.”

“So where the fuck are we?” Karkat spat.

Jade shrugged. “I dunno,” she answered with a smile.

Karkat took a deep breath and balled his fists. “So… are we going to fucking go somewhere… or?” He left the question hanging. He turned to Psiioniic for assistance in the fuckery that was unfolding before him but the assbasket just shrugged.

Dave stood up and stretched. “Guess we’ll just wait it out.”

“Wait what the fuck out?” Karkat screeched. He turned to John. John threw his hands up in the universal symbolic motion of ‘Don’t look at me’.

Dave offered a really helpful shrug and explained, “Jade is pretty good with space. I don’t question where she takes us.”

“Well I do!” Karkat exploded. “I’ve been the fucking king of all things shitastic for the past awful hell revolution of my dustyass hive centered planet so if you mean to tell me that the primetime packet of government approved fuckery I’ve been handed today is all amounting to your furry friend having her sixth sense or whatever the fuck she’s saying prevent this bulge fondler-“ he shoved an angry finger at Psiioniic without pausing for breath-“ to deliver a probably plot furthering message to a damsel in distress Rebellion and prance around like a fucking hero then… then…” he struggled for the words. He wasn’t this far advanced in ranting yet. Shit.

“Then fuck you!” he concluded eloquently.

Stunned silence filled up the cockpit as soon as his rant had ended. Karkat made angry eye contact with each one of them, in turn, to make sure the message got across. John offered a smile. The idiot. Jade was nodding like she understood. Fuck her. Dave! Dave was the fucking pinnacle. His stupid glasses and deadpan face were almost too stupid to look at. Psiioniic looked done.

“Do you like comics?” Dave asked out of nowhere.

Karkat actually hissed. He glared as hard as he could. “Are you…” He paused to make sure. “Are you fucking flirting with me?” he gasped.

Calm as ever, Dave shook his head. “See I have this web series and-“

“Alright,” Psiioniic cut them off. Karkat shuddered at the thought of that slime sucker actually auspisticing a pair. Fuck space battles this was what was really going to make his spew. “I agree with Jade. Something doesn’t feel right.”

Karkat threw his hands up and brought them down flipping off the old Jedi. “Oh yeah. Sure. I bet the Force is cowering too. Fuck you. You can take your toodles and shove it up your ass. I’m done. Drop me off an Alderaan for all I care.”

He turned away and stormed off. He heard John mumble something but didn’t care to listen. He just stalked off until he got himself lost in in the ship and found a kind of common room. It was pretty cozy looking, adorned with a few benches and tables. There were plants growing in the sill overlooking the starscape outside. They were orange and gourd-like. He sat down near them and fumed.

Why had he exploded back there? He didn’t know. They all infuriated him. All he wanted was… he shook his head and sighed. He didn’t know. He wanted to know what had happened. Everything had happened so fast, and he was tired. He hadn’t really slept or eaten all day and the suns would probably set on Tatooine in a few hours. He needed to zoink out before he fucking killed someone.

He sat there rubbing his sight nuggets when John came in. “Hey.” Karkat flipped him off but didn’t object when John sat down next to him.

“Dude,” John started. “Are you okay?”

Karkat massaged his temples and shook his head. “No, obviously I’m fucking not. Just my luck to be swept into a galactic clusterfuck and the only company I have in this jerk circle is the universe’s crustiest old Jedi, a damn fucking delusional furry, probably the most infuriating smuggler this galaxy has ever shit out, and you.”

John shrugged. Karkat had discussed what a feeling jam was to John before but he never understood it. Karkat was not going to ask how John was feeling because even John sitting next to him was far too chummy already. At least John hadn’t put papped his shoulder like he had that one time. Humans were gross. They papped each other all the time, called it ‘patting’ and acted like their gross PDA was acceptable.

“Well,” John sighed, “at least we’re off Tatooine.”

Karkat scoffed and nodded. As fucked up as this was, yes, at least they were off Tatooine. He turned to John and shook his head.

“Alright, Johnny no morail shit but a little quid pro quo. Where they hell have you been for the past few months?”

John turned and gave him a big dopey smile. He looked out behind him at the stars. “Well, you know how badly I wanted to join the Rebellion?”

Karkat nodded. He knew John’s grandmother had been a huge advocate for the dismemberment of the Empire. It’d gotten her killed so John had to move in with an adoptive father. He was a kind man and Karkat knew John loved him, but he also knew how badly John wanted to get out there and fight.

“Well, after the whole incident of in that bar, you remember, I got the idea to start training.”

“Training how?”

John shrugged. “Anyway I could. I would go out at night looking for people I could help and stuff.”

“So you mean you went out at night trying to be a superhero and got your ass handed to you?” Karkat corrected.

John nodded solemnly. “It got people’s attention. I started with little things. You know, there’s a lot of crime in Mos. It wasn’t too hard to get tangled up into something. But one thing leads to another and I went from stopping muggings to accidently getting involved with the fight against the Felt. You know the Felt, that gang and their leader Snowman, beat out Jabba and the Hutt family years ago. ”

Karkat gaped. “You’re fucking with me.”

John shook his head. “I’m not. I kind of forgot all about the Rebellion with so much to do on Tatooine. The people there need help, man.”

Karkat threw his hands up and made incoherent noises. “Yeah, but you don’t become a vigilante because ‘People need help’ you have to have your parents killed or some shit for you do become a comic book character!”

John nodded and Karkat shut up. “You mean…” and John smiled sadly. Karkat hated that. John smiled at everything. He had sad smiles and anxious smiles and embarrassed smiles. He should have known something was up when he pulled that blaster on him without a goofy grin on his face. John had learned not to smile. Fuck.

He must have seen Karkat’s dismay. “Yup,” John said quietly. “It’s my fault too. People were getting mad that I was fucking with business. Happened on my 16th.” Karkat didn’t know what to say. He didn’t have an insult to throw or a scowl to present. He wasn’t used to this. Of course, John fucking smiled at him.

“So Kar? I’m sorry about Crabdad. I disappeared for seven months when my dad was killed. I’d say joining a hell bent mission to save the Rebellion is a pretty okay way to deal with it.”

Karkat nodded and looked at the stars with John. If John could do something stupid like become a damn superhero why the hell couldn’t he become a Jedi? He’d never considered himself a good person before, but hey. John had said it himself. People need help.

He let the small seed of empathy lodge itself somewhere deep inside him and closed his eyes.


	9. Cat Got Your Tongue?

The Death Star was a force to be reckoned with, the killer of worlds. The galaxy had been told that the incident on Jedha was a mining accident and most people believed it. Hell, if Nepeta wasn’t as high up as she was-and even then that wasn’t much-she would have accepted the mining explanation as well. It was strange how a machine the size of a moon could be such a well-kept secret, but the Empire had its ways.

Now that Nepeta was stationed on it, she believed every word. The thing was huge, and daunting, and awful. She paced the main deck evenly and looked out into space before her. They were entering the Alderaan system.

It was her first day stationed all the way up here. Her subordinates awaited orders below her. In all honestly, she was quite bored. She really just wanted to curl up and take a nap. She never got to nap these days.

“Ma’am.”

She nodded to the woman who had spoken. They pointed to the door. “Ampora and Sufferer.” Nepeta nodded and thanked them. Obviously everyone else in the room had hea, d the exchange. There was a quiet rustle as people sat up straighter and fixed their uniforms or tried to keep their hands from shaking.

The doors to the bridge opened to reveal Sufferer followed by a couple of Stormtroopers, Ampora, and with her hands bound, Princess Kanaya Maryam of Alderaan. She was beautiful. Her elegant green robes looked a little disheveled and her neatly cut hair was a little out of place but, remarkably, her jade lipstick remained immaculate. Between her squared shoulders and her set jaw she almost seemed in charge of the place, despite the chains.

Nepeta cried out to her in her mind. She hated every minute of this. She wondered of Kanaya knew that…. No. She shut that part of her brain off and watched the events play out before her helplessly.

“Well,” Ampora smiled. “Princess, it’s a displeasure to be in your presence again.”

Kanaya kept her elegant face stoic. “Governor. I’d been wondering why you never appeared at senate meetings any more. I now see. You’ve become Sufferer’s pet goldfish.”

Ampora fumed. His gills flapped as he got dangerously close to the princess’ face, pointing a finger into her chest. “Listen here, you filthy jade blood,” he spat. “If you think-“

She obviously didn’t care what he thought she thought. She smashed her head forward, chin tucked and horns skimming the side of his head, crunching Ampora’s nose loudly and cracking his glasses. The sea dweller reeled back, cursing up a storm and holding his broken nose. Kanaya stood there calmly with purple dripping down her face. Here hair was a little messed up but she managed to pull it off somehow. She casually licked a dripping stream of blood from her upper lip.

The room tensed in unison. Ampora went to clock her in the face but his gloved fist was caught by an invisible force. He turned and snarled at Sufferer, who had his hand raised.

“We’re gonna execute her anyways!” he snapped. His eyes bulged. His chest heaved angrily.  “Let me do some damage first!”

Sufferer shook his head and spoke in his slow, spine chilling cadence. “Wait, Ampora. Let her witness the destruction of Alderaan before she dies.”

Her eyes widened minutely. “You have no reason too,” she argued. “Alderaan is peaceful and defenseless. If you do this the galaxy will only crave freedom more and more.”

Ampora glared at her, still holding his nose. “You don’t think we can do it!”

Kanaya ignored him and talked directly to Sufferer. “I try not to gamble with the lives of billions when I can. Why are you doing this? What good will come of it?”

Ampora opened his mouth to respond but apparently Sufferer wasn’t talking to him either. He pinched his fingers and Ampora choked a little bit before shutting up.

“I’m so glad you asked,” Sufferer replied evenly. “We need to show the galaxy that this station is operational. We need a well-known planet to publically display the power of the Empire, to crush any hopes of rebelling against the Empress. Alderaan will do nicely, or the planet with the Rebel base stationed on it.”

Kanaya looked at him steadily. “What caste are you?” she asked softly. Sufferer tilted his head. “There are rumors but… I’d love to know personally.”

Sufferer strode up to her. She tilted her head back to face him. “You’ll have to make me bleed to find out.”

“Believe me when I say I gladly will.”

“Where’s the planet?” Sufferer growled.

She shook her head. Nepeta stood as still as she could but her hands were shaking even as she clasped them behind her back. What was Kanaya thinking? The Rebels could rebuild, Alderaan could not. Alderaan had its own culture. Its own history. Its own people. Families. Children. What was she thinking?

The general watched this all through a glare and cracked lenses. Sufferer finally turned to him and nodded. Ampora smiled over the blood on his face. “Prepare for immediate fire on the planet Alderaan!” he announced. Fingers typed and levers were pulled. Nepeta herself stood at a station. She hesitated a moment before turning the appropriate security switch.

Ampora happily turned his security key as Sufferer hesitated over a last key. He faced Kanaya once again. She steeled herself and blinked. Nepeta could see the green tears struggling to fall from her eyes. “Is this how you want to be remembered?” she asked quietly.

Sufferer turned towards the key. He stood not three feet from Nepeta. What he said next was so soft she thought maybe she was the only one who heard him say it.

“I don’t want to be remembered anymore.”

He turned the key. Red lights flashed overhead. Through the windows a giant red beam grew and targeted the distant Alderaan, blowing it to bits right before their very eyes.

Kanaya screamed. She composed herself shortly after but as the Stormtroopers escorted her back to her cell the heart wrenching scream echoed in everyone’s ears. It was raw. Ampora was rushed by medical staff after she’d left. Nepeta stared out into the debris hurtling through space. It had happened so fast. How could it have happened so fast? How does someone walk away from this?

Her heart turned cold as she felt a presence behind her. She turned to stand at attention before Sufferer, standing at the window besides her.

“What’s your name, officer?” he said between labored breaths.

“Nepeta Leijon, sir,” she answered.

“Leijon?” he asked quietly.

She nodded. “It’s a very common last name where I come from, sir. From Naboo.” She didn’t know why she was telling him all this. She felt compelled. She didn’t like it.

He nodded and turned away without another word. Once he was gone she felt like she could breathe again. She didn’t know what to do. The sick feeling in her stomach threated to make her vomit. She pushed it down and took a seat in her officer’s chair. How was she going to walk away from this?

 


	10. Irony at its Finest

Some small and pathetic excuse of calmness had overtaken the Falcon as the motley band of misfits steadily made their way towards Alderaan. Stars zoomed past in a strange bath of white and blue as they sped through hyperspace. Jade had taken the consideration to actually put Alderaan’s coordinates into the system this time.

So now the five milled about the room that Karkat had escaped to in the fashion that strangers usually mill about in: awkwardly. They’d all crowded into the room after jumping to light speed, rudely waking Karkat from his well-deserved nap, and the only compensation he’d gotten was a shitty sandwich for his troubles.

Karkat had scowled over his shoulder at John and Dave after the intrusion. The two had just hit it off like explosives and a fuse, trading stories and laughing like they’d known each other forever. Annoying assholes. Jade watched this with amusement while she busied herself with the droids.

There had been a small introduction between the two. She was an absentminded, genius engineer and hailed from a sub-species of Wookie. Karkat had snapped at her about being too damn tall and she had snapped back to him about being too damn short. It infuriated him. He really needed to get his emotions in check or this crap shoot excuse for an adventure was going to turn into a shitty romcom real fast and he was not in a position to be hate macking on anyone right now.

“Karkat, stop staring at Dave.”

Karkat swiveled his head towards where Psiioniic’s voice had come from. He switched off the lightsaber in his hand and tore the blindfold off his eyes. “I wasn’t staring at him!” he hissed. “I was blindfolded!”

Psiioniic innocently wiped the smirk off his face and opened his mouth to comment. Karkat glared in preparation to rebuke whatever idiotic taunts the Jedi had come up with this time. This was the first time he’d gotten his hands on the lightsaber for real, with real training, and he hated to admit it but Psiioniic was a good teacher. He was patient and only teased Karkat to help him recognize his flaws.

So Karkat was prepared to shoot back that he was, in fact, paying attention, even though they both knew he wasn’t but Psiioniic’s breath hitched. His face fell and his eyelids fluttered like he was trying to wake up. Karkat knelt before Psiioniic.

“Hey, man, what the fuck?” he said gently. Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to say when someone was possibly going into cardiac arrest but fuck it. He wasn’t used to this, with interaction, and he certainly wasn’t used to impromptu seizures.

Psiioniic gulped and screwed his eyes shut painfully. He stayed that way for a moment before opening them and taking a deep breath. “It’s…” he looked faint. He shook his head. “I just felt…” he shook his head again, “for lack of better phrasing, I just felt something really fucked up.”

Karkat scoffed and stood back up but the troll had really scared him for a second. Psiioniic motioned to a little hovering droid zooming about Karkat’s head and nodded. Karkat groaned and put his blindfold back on. He winced as the droid shot a little beam into his arm.

“Fuck! I don’t even have the glow stick open! Wait a minute!”

He heard Psiioniic laugh, but it was shaky. “For the last time, it’s not a fucking glow stick. It’s an ancient weapon that you should be damn proud to wield. If you are serious about becoming a Jedi, you need to at least harbor, I don’t know, _some_ respect for them.”

Karkat groaned and tried to do what Psiioniic had been telling him to do for the past half hour. Feel out the droid. Use the Force. Blah blah blah. All that bullshit. Karkat honed in on his frustration and deflected one of the streams.

“No! Stop using your anger to find the target,” Psiioniic berated him. “Not to be dramatic, but that’s literally like one of the worst things you can do as a Jedi, like ever.”

Karkat cursed and tried to push the loud and bitter parts down but it was too hard, what with Dave and John babbling about old ass movies in the background. Talk about ancient. This lightsaber was nothing compared to that shit they liked to spend their free time gorging their seeing globes on.

“Karkat…”

“Fine!” he spat. He took a deep breath. He tried to ignore the blood rushing in his hearing holes and tuned out the babbling douche bags in the corner. Once he did, he discovered an annoying little tug on the backs of his hands. If he moved his hands with the pull, he heard the little noise the laser made when it was absorbed by the lightsaber. He smiled to himself. Huh. That was actually kind of cool. Maybe, if he cleared his mind a little more he could feel it the way Psiioniic was describing, like-

“Hey, Karkat, you wanna sword fight?”

“Fucker!” Karkat ripped off the blindfold again and pointed the saber at Dave, who was standing about five feet away from him calmly. Dave leaned forward to look at the lightsaber.

“Hey this is pretty cool, all this Jedi stuff,” he noted. “Like, one time I was fighting this dude off in the Killian system and he pulled this weird ass book out of his pocket, right? And I was like, ‘Oh sure I’ll give you my autograph,’ and whipped a pen out and signed my name, left my digits on there as well, you know for irony, and the guy is looking at me, and I was like-”

“Shut up!” Karkat yelled. “Just! Shut! Up! What the hell are you talking about?”

Dave shrugged and started opening secret compartments here and there. “Well, you’d know if you’d let me finish but I get it.” He pressed a tile and a segment of roof opened up to reveal empty cases of fruit juice. Dave shook his head and closed it. “Jedi are cool. I used to really been into ‘em when my smuggling days started.” He kicked one of the benches. A seat popped up to display wires and, what were those, microphones? “All that hero shit they got up to back in the day. It was cool as hell.” His arm slinked behind Jade, who was smiling amusedly behind a laptop. He clicked something and smiled, satisfied as a part of the floor slid away. “Now, I’m not saying I’m the hero type myself, but” he reached into the void and pulled up two abominations that might pass for swords. Fuck, if a physical object could look pixelated these fuckers did. “…I may be able to help you not die with that flashy saber in your hand.”

A deep, deep and pure, loathing emanated through Karkat’s squinted eyes. He dragged his hands down his face in agony. “Fine, fuckface, let’s play space pirates.” He closed the lightsaber and tossed it at Psiioniic, who looked amused and picked up one of the awful excuses for a three-dimensional object. “Where the ever living fuck did you find these?” Karkat asked as he mirrored Dave’s stance.

A flash of mock offense rippled Dave’s placid features. “Why, I made them of course. Can’t you tell ironic quality when you see it?” He slowly made to strike Karkat. Karkat swatted it away and Dave nodded.

“I can tell you it’s a piece of shit.”

“Ironic shit, though.”

Dave pointed to Karkat’s feet. Karkat set them a little farther apart and continued to slowly block Dave’s strikes. It wasn’t how Psiioniic had been teaching him. All of that had been proper and focused on breathing and shit. Dave fought with a different sword, though. His was curved. It forced him to move differently.

“Bro. Put your whole body into the swing.”

“Dude. Just take a breath and aim for my open spots.”

“Man, you really gotta watch my feet.”

It wasn’t that Karkat didn’t know how to fight. He’d had daily strifes with Crabdad as long as he could remember, but never with a weapon. Of course, now that made sense. He didn’t retrieve one when he left the brooding caverns because he was hatched on Tatooine, apparently. Hand to hand he could do, but this was new to him.

Occasionally Psiioniic would add in a comment or advice. He would tell him to focus on where his hands wanted to go, or feeling the Force telling him not to fuck up. Karkat felt it, a little bit, but Dave would say something and he’d loose it.

Karkat fell to the floor with a “Fuck!” as Dave pushed him down with his shoulder, once again. Dave held out a hand, as he did every time he pushed him down. He raised an eyebrow at Karkat as he heaved him up. Karkat nodded. “Yeah, yeah, watch the side I’m not striking with.”

Jade called to them from across the room. John, Mr. Social Flutter Insect himself had been chatting with her while he was getting his ass kicked by Dave. She smiled at them and informed them that they were going to be pulling out of hyperspace pretty soon. Her smile was amused when she looked at the swords in their hands but she didn’t comment. She turned away towards the cockpit.

“What?” Karkat called.

She turned back and shrugged. For such a massive person she didn’t seem threatening at all. Karkat guessed that that was how she wanted it, though. If he knew anything, it was that surface value meant nothing in this world. Her big green eyes stared at him thoughtfully before she answered. “I think it’s silly, that’s all.”

Karkat helped Dave put the swords back and close the hatch shut. “What’s fucking silly?”

“I’ve told Dave before, but, even though his swords are cool and _ironic_ ,” she smiled at Dave and Dave smirked back, knowing that she wasn’t being mean, “I really do believe a blaster and a higher understanding of mathematics will offer more safety than a sword and an unproven theory.”

“Theory?” Psiioniic asked, curious.

She nodded. Her voice wasn’t patronizing, just honest as she spoke. “The Force. Midi-chlorians. I haven’t studied it much but the theory has some merit behind it and a lot of examples, particularly concerning the Jedi Order, but I wouldn’t risk my life on the hope that when the time came a mysterious Force would save me.”

“But wait!” John pipped up, walking over to Jade. He pointed to Psiioniic. “Karkat said that he can move things without touching them, using the Force _and_ we saw him totally mind fuck these guards into letting us go in Mos.”

Jade smiled her bucktooth smile and shrugged. She reminded Karkat of John, strangely. “He’s a troll. Many castes have exhibited physic abilities as part of their inherited biology.” She smiled apologetically at Psiioniic, who didn’t take offense to the scientist. He nodded at her argument maturely.

She continued. “Now granted, I am a scientist and I am not willing to say that the Force doesn’t exist at all. There’s too much evidence to support it. I’d just want to understand it before I trust it, that’s all.” She turned to Dave. “Come on. We got to get out of hyperspace.”

She and Dave left for the cockpit.

John smiled after them and shook his head. “I feel like I know them from somewhere,” he sighed.

“John, what the fuck is on your face?” Karkat asked contemptuously, pointing aggressively to the boxy black frames now magnifying John’s blue sight spheres.

John’s face lit up. “Oh! Jade and I have a similar prescription! She gave me some of her old lenses! It’s awesome!” He swiveled his head around the room to show that he could, wow, see stuff now. “It’s sooo cool!” he yelled, pumping a fist in the air. “I can’t wait till we jump out of hyperspace so I can see the stars with these on!” He smiled idiotically at Karkat. Karkat couldn’t help but crack the tiniest of smiles himself. It was cool to see John actually see stuff after all those years watching him fumble around as a sightless fuck.

John excitedly ran down the corridor towards the cockpit to go bother Dave and Jade. Karkat was left with Psiioniic and the droids.

“I’m fucking tired.”

Psiioniic nodded. “I know. But unfortunately, I think you’re going to have to hold out for a little bit longer.”

Karkat didn’t like the sound of that. “What the fuck do you- what the fuck is that?” he yelled, running to the window. The stars slowed down and fell back but they weren’t the only thing that fell back. Rocks and debris flooded the space around them and moved in dizzying ballets as Dave and Jade tried to outmaneuver them.

Karkat and Psiioniic ran down the corridor to where Dave and Jade were frantically pushing buttons. “Where the hell is Alderaan?” Karkat yelled.

Dave actually shrugged while avoiding a collision with a huge chunk of rock. “Dunno. I think it left.”

“Planets don’t just grow legs and walk away, Dave!” Jade argued, calmly and professionally shooting rocks out of their way with axillary lasers. “I think it blew up.”

“Well, Jade, the people of a sick ass planet like Alderaan don’t just wake up one morning and say, ‘Hey, you know what I’ll do today? Blow my fucking planet out of the solar system.’ ‘Do you think that isn’t a good idea, sir? To blow your fucking planet out of the fucking solar system?’ ‘Hell if I know. Let’s find out.’”

There really wasn’t a sky to look at so Karkat contented himself to glaring at the ceiling and scoffing instead. There was absolutely no way this clusterfuck could get any more fucked up.

“Uh, guys?” John adjusted his new glasses to make sure he was using them right. “I think that’s an Imperial fighter out there.”

Karkat threw his hands up in utter exasperation. He just couldn’t be right about anything. This clusterfuck was just starting.


	11. Chivalry Isn’t Dead (Yet)

The ship shuddered as a boulder clinked off the left side. Karkat grabbed John’s shoulder to steady himself as the gravity engine let off for a moment, sending his stomach up into his throat. The gravity snapped back on and pushed it back down. He tried not to throw up in his mouth. He failed. Inertia was a bitch.

“How the hell did a TIE fighter get all the way out here?” Dave pondered calmly as the shields took the impact of a laser.

“How the hell did the Empire blow up a planet?” John retorted. Karkat looked at him like he was stupid but Psiioniic was nodding. He frowned. Really, though, who else would have blown it up?

Jade shot back at the fighter. “There has to be a base around here. It’s short range!”

Dave nodded. “We need to stop it, whatever mad reason the little guy is out here regardless.” He shot a glance at Psiioniic. “I mean, unless you wanna follow it. We jumped Tatooine pretty quick. I’m still not entirely sure what you’re paying me for.” He focused on the controls again. “Or how much, for that matter.”

Psiioniic shook his head. “No. We need to shoot it down. If it gets a pretty little snapshot of this ship we’re gonna be no better off than Alderaan.”

“Aye aye, captin’!” Dave chanted as he pushed on an accelerator. Something was wrong with the gravity simulators. At any stress, as far as Karkat could tell, the thing would crap out and suddenly the level of gravity they were experiencing would decrease rapidly. He held onto John for dear life as the ship zagged and weaved through the dead planet debris towards the little fucker flying quickly ahead of them. The poor fuckhead who must have been driving probably realized that they were no match for a Corellian pirate ship.

Karkat tried to ignore the mortification of having to fall on top of John over and over like some kind of princess bullshit. Whenever the gravity would jump, his feet slipped out from under him and he’d be forced to hold onto John’s arm or shoulder. Finally, John put his arm around him and held him while Karkat latched himself firmly onto his waist. He could feel his cheeks flushing but John didn’t seem interesting in his personal fucking torment. He just held onto the grips in the ceiling like he did this every day. Fuck. For all Karkat knew this probably wasn’t even his first firefight.

He didn’t have time to see the looming dot forming into something ominous before them. “Is that what I think it is?” John whispered. Karkat looked up to see Jade pausing her rapid assault on the fighter to wipe off her glasses. Dave lowered his shades, but of course he wasn’t facing him which was annoying. Karkat then realizing he probably shouldn’t be fondly thinking about Dave’s vision orbs and maybe should be looking at-

“What the ever living _fuck_ is that!” he shouted upon noticing the moon-sized sphere of menacing whatever the hell it fucking was rising into view in the windows. He gaped. He sputtered. He swore. It was terrifying. You could almost hear the menacing theme that would accompany it. Wait. That was actual music.

“Sorry,” Dave said, digging a communicator out of his pocket. “New ringtone. From a crappy old sci-fi movie. My bad. I need to turn that shit on vibrate.”

“No time for that!” Jade swatted it out of his hand and pulled multiple levers back. “Full reverse!”

“Roger.” Dave ignored the ringing device, probably reveling in the irony that it was providing a cheesy soundtrack for whatever mess they were about to get into. Karkat felt the gravity become a little more bearable so he detached himself from John and stood behind Dave, who was nervously pushing his blond bangs out of his face.

“Dave.”

“Yes Karkat.”

“Why are we moving towards the evil lair space orb?”

Dave turned to Jade, who bit her lip and turned to Karkat. “We’re stuck in its tractor beam,” she admitted miserably. She and Dave were obviously making a valiant, but ultimately useless effort to get away from it.

Karat watched angrily as what had to be a space station grew and grew before their eyes. It was impossibly gargantuan. The TIE fighter that zoomed ahead of them into an unreal docking port looked smaller than sand hoppers compared to a speeder. He tried to swallow the fear forming in his throat but it just kind of got stuck there. Why wasn’t anyone doing anything?

“Okay,” John said to the group, reading his thoughts. “What are we going to do? Dave, Jade, have you been captured before?”

They nodded evenly. “We have smuggling holes everywhere,” Jade offered. “Easy to hide people in.”

John nodded. “Good.” He faced Psiioniic, who was looking at John with what Karkat thought was dangerously close to admiration. “Psiioniic, you’ve dealt with military operations before. What are they going to with the ship?”

Psiioniic shrugged, watching the massive docking port draw nearer, gaping like a metal mouth waiting to consume them. “They’ll search the ship, obviously, but unfortunately I believe that they’ll be more interested in me than any of you kids. The most important thing on this ship is the droids. They cannot be found. If they are, we’ve lost everything.”

A small cry of envy called out somewhere in Karkat as he watched John mull the information over in his head. He could see the traits of leadership practically oozing out of him as he faced the group and nodded. “Okay. Here’s what I think we should do.” His serious look vanished momentarily. “I mean,” he added with a shaky laugh, “if you guys want to. I don’t want to pretend like I know what I’m doing.”

The pilot and copilot shrugged. “I trust you,” Dave said with a mock salute. Jade nodded in agreement. Karkat jumped as WV beeped behind him. They were sneaky little fuckers. AR mumbled something about justice. Karkat added a snide comment and watched John turn into that stoic bastard he apparently was and take charge of the room as a plan slowly formulated between them all. He wished he had some cool secret skill like the rest of them but right now he was just trying to survive. He should really work on mastering that over glorified flashlight sometime soon. It might save his ass someday.

The station grew nearer and he glared at it with disdain. Fuck the Empire. He was going to dismantle it one asshole at a time if he had to. You don’t just blow up a fucking planet. The Condesce was a military genius. He knew that. He respected that. Still, didn’t mean he had to like her.

He shuddered as John placed a hand on his shoulder. John seemed to forget the whole touching thing, once again, but he didn’t mind as much this time. “You ready?” John asked.

“You bet your ass I am, Jonny boy Fuckbert.”

John rolled his eyes.

 

He was ready to clock a prissy Stormtrooper in the face, sure, but he was not prepared for this. At all. “John, get your fucking bulge out of my face!” he hissed into the darkness of the tight storage compartment. There were plenty of other places to hide a person but this was the only compartment that deflected scans of biomaterial. Even though the reasoning behind this made sense-Dave and Jade did not smuggle live cargo-Karkat was still pissed as shit at the situation it had gotten them all smashed into.

“That’s not me,” John said from below Karkat. Huh. So that’s what he was laying on.

“Sorry,” Dave said as he moved around a bit.

“No! No! No!” Karkat tried to yell in a whisper. “For the love of fucking fuck stop moving!” Dave’s wiggling stilled. Karkat glared even though it was useless in the fucking darkness but fuck it if Asshole Strider could wear shades in pitch blackness then he could fucking glare.

“Boys!” Psiioniic spat. “Karkat, shut up. John, don’t move. Dave, please, don’t get excited, and Jade, would you be so kind as to get your hair out of my mouth?”

“Sorry.”

They all hushed as footsteps echoed above them. They’d jettisoned escape pods and powered down the droids before placing them in another one of the Falcon’s secret compartments. Now, they waited for the right opportunity to strike, though Karkat wondered how badassy they could strike after being cramped in here for so long. He was pretty sure his walking poles were asleep.

The footsteps ebbed as they left the floor above them. “Now?” Jade whispered.

“No,” Psiioniic answered, spitting some hair out. “Wait till they send in the second crew. Likely only a couple of troopers will come this far into the ship.”

They waited silently. Karkat was beginning to think that they’d be stuck in there forever when they heard footsteps above them again. It was a lot of footsteps, but when they heard noise again it was closer and softer.

“Dave,” Psiioniic whispered. Karkat tried not to think about Dave’s crotch dangerously close to his face as he situated himself so that he could unlatch the lock above them. The soft light poured into the compartment as Dave pushed the hatch lid back and scrambled out, kicking Karkat in the gut. He groaned and pushed himself out, unintentionally kicking John in the gut, who groaned as well. John went to punch Karkat in the leg but he was expecting it, and jumped out of the way, leaving poor Dave to get Charlie horsed by John, thus completing the circle of stupidity all in a quiet manner so that the Stormtroopers down the hall would not be notified of their presence.

Psiioniic and Jade, sitting side by side on the bottom of the compartment, shook their heads at this and took a moment to judge the trio before climbing out themselves. Dave rubbed his leg painfully as he closed the hatch. “Sorry,” John mouthed.

They looked up at once when the two Stormtroopers turned the corner and faced them. In the time that Karkat had taken to raise his fists, Jade had already punched one in the face and slammed the other’s head into the wall with a loud bang. She stood over the pair grinning as they slumped to the floor.

Dave offered a fist bump, which she gladly accepted graciously. They surrounded the fallen troopers and stared down at them in silence. John made a _brrrrrr_ noise as he let a deep breath of air slowly through his lips.

“We don’t have horns,” he pointed out plainly.

Karkat rubbed his eyes. “And why the fuck are we thinking of this _now_?”

Jade shook her head with a cringe. “Maybe they won’t notice?”

“It’s the best chance we got,” Psiioniic relented as he knelt to start unlatching spots in the troopers’ armor. He struggled a bit with most of it but no one said anything. It was already creepy to undress unconscious soldiers; it would be a little weirder if he did it with finesse.

Finally all the armor and body suits were off and Dave and John could slip into them. Karkat kept his looking globes at his feet as the boys stripped, only looking up when they were fully armored. He wasn’t embarrassed or anything. He just, you know, respected their privacy… and stuff.

Jade was the best candidate for the armor but they could see she was just too tall, amazingly and unfortunately. Also her ears wouldn’t allow for the helmet.

The armor fit awkwardly on the boys, as it was obviously meant for grown female trolls but it was wearable. There was, though, the still very noticeable problem with the horns, namely, the lack thereof.

“Do I look sexy?” asked Dave, modeling the armor saucily. John managed to face palm his helmet in a pretty good representation of what Karkat was feeling.

Psiioniic shook his head, his opaque eyes serious. “Let’s power up the droids and sneak out of here. Hopefully we won’t be in any one place long enough for people to ask questions.”

The group nodded wearily. They were all very tired of today. John took over. “Psiioniic, once we find a safe spot to hide out in, you look for a way to disable the tractor beam and hopefully we’ll all meet back up on the ship.”

Karkat cleared his throat. “Aren’t we forgetting something?” He pointed to the unconscious blue bloods lying on the floor. Jade made an ‘oh yeah’ expression and hefted the two women over her shoulders like they were grubs or something. She was even more ripped than John. Karkat knew his eyes had widened. He didn’t attempt to hide that. Jade didn’t attempt to hide her smile.

So, as inconspicuously as two fake Stormtroopers, a dog girl carrying two knocked out authentic Stormtroopers, an old Jedi, a grumpy troll, and two robots can sneak out of a captured pirate ship and infiltrate an elite Imperial battle station, they did.

 

It was quite frankly a three ring circus of fuckery and the bear minimum requirements of sepia colored comedy reels that followed the ménage of idiots. They dragged the trolls behind a crate and left them there. Impossibly, John had managed to get a mustache on one although Karkat how no idea how the flying fuck he even managed that. Where did he get the marker? Where had he been hiding it?

Their first obstacle was a scary looking sea dweller with stupid broken glasses but they snuck past him pretty easily. There was a lot of sneaking from hall to hall; sliding into corridors only to stop and bolt the other way, and once Dave even distracted a guard by breakdancing. Karkat didn’t really hold this mission to too high a standard. He’d be surprised if they survived the hour, but still, if he was a Jedi now and blah blah blah responsibility and shit, so. Whatever.

Both eventually and miraculously, they found a little side room with a computer outlet and a command board. Psiioniic said something inspirational about the Force but Karkat ignored it. If he really was to be a pada-protégé or something he’d be hearing shit like that for a long time to come. They hurriedly crept inside and locked the electronic door behind them. A collective sigh carried out into the air.

“Hey Psiioniic,” Karkat droned, “Does being a Jedi require being a reckless fucker or is that your personal touch?”

Psiioniic was busy fussing over the droids but still found the time to flip him off easily. WV carefully connected to a computer outlet and soon images and maps and readout holograms took up space in the air around them. AR pointed to something in one of the diagrams. He nodded and faced Jade sternly, who had been studying the maps alongside him. “Harley,” he said. She stood at attention like a soldier. “I can take out the tractor beam if I disrupt one of the terminals, I believe. I think it’d be best of I went alone but I want you to keep an eye on my progress through the security monitors. We meet up later and get out. Okay?”

She nodded. “I can do that,” she affirmed. Then her face softened, “but silly, why do you want to go alone?”

Karkat felt a little pressure on the back of his neck. He didn’t really know what it meant but he didn’t like it. Psiioniic still had his back to him as he said convincingly, “It’s a lot safer that way and then you four won’t be separated. Plus we need the droids to be guarded at all costs.”

Karkat tried to stomach the feeling that something was wrong. He looked at Psiioniic and scowled. He still wasn’t facing him. Something was wrong. Something was going to happen. But what? Something bad. His eyes flashed to Psiioniic’s hands as he turned briefly towards a wall and lit them up. He didn’t see what lit up where, not that it mattered. He didn’t know what it meant, but it made him feel scared.

“Karkat,” Psiioniic said as he stood in front of the door, back still turned. Karkat held his breath. “By no means is being a reckless fucker required, but I think it adds a nice flare to things.” And without looking back he opened the door and stole off. Karkat watched his cape tails flutter as he quickly made his way down a corner. The door closed.

He stiffened as he felt someone behind him.

“Dude,” John said softly, “Are you okay. Your knuckles are turning white.”

He looked down to see the old lightsaber gripped tightly in his hand. He hadn’t even realized he’d grabbed it from the Falcon. Huh. What was he thinking about again?

“Oh course I’m alright, Fuckbert, who do you think I am, you?” he snapped. John tightened his mouth and turned away. Karkat tried to remember what he was pissed about but dismissed it as nothing. A lot of things pissed him off.

WV whistled loudly, shocking the solemn room into a frenzy. Some kind of sadness had replaced Psiioniic when he left, but WV quickly got them moving again.

“What.” “Shut the fuck up!” “I think they found something?” “What?”

The four crowded around the small robot as they zoomed in on a particular cell block. AR had already begun a droning speech about the injustices diplomats faced in the line of civil duty against tyranny or some shit. No one was listening, save WV possibly. Karkat liked that little droid but he wasn’t paying attention to it right now.

He leaned in to study the image of the girl swathed in jade calmly applying lipstick in a prisoner’s cell.

“Whoever it is,” Jade said, squinting at some type next to the cell number, “she’s scheduled to be executed today.”

WV kept screaming. Karkat looked helplessly at AR. The taller robot was a little more helpful. “Master Karkat, that’s Princess Kanaya Maryam of Alderaan.” Karkat rolled his eyes. Yeah. He knew. “If this mission is to succeed in all honorable and justifiable forms, a rescue of the princess would be an enormous aid to the Rebel cause.” He rolled his eyes again. He also knew that but he didn’t want to say it out loud.

Jade shook her head. “We don’t have that option right now. There’s too much at risk. We need to get out of here as soon as possible.” Her ears fell with her eyes as she typed more information into the computer counsel. Dave was nodding along next to her, albeit with a frown. Karkat felt conflicted. He involuntarily turned to John.

John stood tall with his mouth in a firm line. He shook his head. “We can’t just let her die.”

Dave, who was again miraculously wearing those damn shades, shook his head back. “John. We’re not heroes. You may be. But us…” he gestured between him and Jade, “we’re smugglers, man. We survive. Got to make those boonbucks somehow. Can’t do that when you’re, you know, iced.” Jade nodded behind him. WV swiveled their head between the faces.

John was utterly flabbergasted. He threw up his arms and made indecipherable noises. “Are you kidding me? She’s a princess! You rescue princesses! It’s like, a law!” Jade had gone back to typing. “Dave, you wear a goddamn sword on your belt. Tell me you’re not some kind of space knight or something.”

Karkat held up his lightsaber. “Isn’t that supposed to be me?” he asked sardonically. He still hadn’t decided what he was going to do but apparently, John had it figured out for him.

John smiled. “See? Karkat gets it! Let’s go! She’s the owner of these droids! She’s part of the Rebellion! We’re running out of time!” AR and WV gave little robotic cheers of encouragement.

Jade’s head shot up. She glared at Dave and shook her head sternly but a scary little smile was tugging at the edge of Dave’s mouth. She shook her head again. “No. Dave. Wait.”

The smile grew as Dave reached for his helmet. “Sorry. He said the magic word. I gotta. Then I gotta post it online.”

John offered a fist bump and a confused smile which Dave gladly accepted. Karkat studied Jade’s growing exasperation for a moment before turning back to Dave who, dammit, had already put the helmet on, obscuring his eyes. He turned back to Jade, who was almost baring teeth.

“Are you doing this because I made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs? Are you trying to prove something?”

Dave shrugged. “I’m just saying, Jade, you can navigate the _Kessel Run,_ a region of black holes so dense you have to take mad detours yo to many celestial objects to jump to hyperspace in a straight line, with so much accuracy as to only travel _less than twelve fucking parsecs_. If you’re the witch of space, damn if I’m not a knight of time. I can beat anyone’s time in the galaxy on any smuggler run and now I got to save this fine piece of royalty in a timely matter as well. No one is faster than me. He said ‘time’. I gotta. So Miss Twelve Parsecs, don’t talk to me about risks.”

He walked to the door pulling a little phone out of his pocket. “I’ll live post the whole thing. Don’t worry.” He tossed a nod to the droids. “Besides, someone’s gotta keep an eye on them. We can’t just leave them alone.”

John grabbed Karkat, who didn’t know when he said yes to this inane mission to go save princesses was decided upon, and dragged him to the door. John pointed at Dave’s phone and said seriously, “Jade, you can be our eyes. Tell Dave where to go. We’ll get her, hide or come back or whatever, meet up with Psiioniic and bounce.”

She, by this time, had accepted the boys’ stubbornness and nodded. Karkat didn’t say it, but he thought she was secretly glad they were going. John was right. You don’t just leave a princess to be executed. “I’ll keep you guys on the right track,” she promised.

Dave nodded and showed Karkat the post he’d made while they were walking out the door. It was a blurry picture of him and John next to the unconscious blue blood with the mustache captioned: “Going off to save a princess. Gonna be paid some mad boonbucks for this one yo. See how fast I can break her out! Comment times below, closest winner gets a free promo!” There was a money emoji at the end. Karkat rolled his eyes as they snuck down the corridor. See how fast Dave could be pushed down a flight of stairs was more like it.

It was going to be a long rescue mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, so it's like, my one year anniversary of posting my first chapter of PSW, so double post day.


	12. Enough Room to Swing a Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, everyone : )

Nepeta woke up crying, which is a peculiar experience in a recuperacoon. It annoyed her. The slime around her face was less slimy and more… soupy. She thought she was over that. She thought after training since she was eight that she’d learn to stop these things. Nightmares are hard to train out of your system, though, especially when she was living in one.

Her eyes hurt as she crawled into the shower in her block. She tried not to look at the gray walls around her. She tried not to think about how different they were from her old cave. She tried not to notice the absence of her huge, fluffy, two-mouthed lusus in a corner and the rank smell her kills would permeate her hive with. She sniffed. She hadn’t seen a real tree in so long.

The shower wasn’t any better. It was too civilized. She wanted a stream or a lake she could dive into. Something cold and shocking. She hated this life. She despised what she’d become.

She shook these thoughts out of her head as she took the ironed uniform out of her closet and put it on. There was a reason for all this. She didn’t fight her lusus to leave home and join the fighters for nothing. She didn’t watch her forest be burned by Imperial troops just to accept it. She…

She clenched her fists. She didn’t take part in killing Alderaan because she wanted to. She did it because she had to. Her thoughts flicked to Damara. She shook her head and swiped at the mirror. The metallic noise resulting filled up the block momentarily but soon died with her outburst. Damara was dead now. There was nothing she could do about it. The only thing there was to do was to carry on. To fight the good fight. To win.

 

Normally Nepeta hated being on the main command deck but this morning it was a welcomed task. A lot went on. There were people to direct and work to be done to distract her from her thoughts. It was nice. She could pretend she belonged.

Still, the day was dragging on dreadfully slow and the debris from Alderaan infected any of the stars she may have tried to look at to pass the time. They were keeping the Death Star in the vicinity of the shattered planet for sake of ownership, the same way terrorists claim the lives they take with pride. It didn’t absolutely sicken her if she refused to think about it, so she did.

She stood in front of the bay windows and stared gloomily out into the chunks of history spiraling past her. There was nothing out there anymore. No one would ever need to come to this part of the universe again except to mourn. The Empire had destroyed even the want to be here, even the empty space only now held sorrow. Nothing would ever-

“Ma’am, unidentified ship approaching.”

“What?” she whirled around, shaken at the sudden notion the universe was telling her to chill the fuck out.

The human cadet below her nodded. She clarified, “Looks to be Corellian, Ma’am. Moving fast, too. Chasing one of our TIE fighters. We’ll have it in the tractor beam soon enough.”

Nepeta dimly heard herself command that the general was to be informed but she was too scared and excited to notice it. She watched expectantly as the ship was pulled into their lair. What was a ship like that doing all the way out here? Why? How? She had so many questions to ask. Why did their ship have comic sans on the side, for instance, or, did they have any cats?

She kept her inquiries to herself as she logged on to a personal computer. The letters in Zahhak’s name spilled easily from her fingertips into the correct boxes. She was glad he’d been promoted. His personal access was expanded. She didn’t have time to feel guilty today as she zoomed in cameras around the main docking bay to see what the ship yielded.

Her eyes tried to capture everything at once. The ship was old and battered. Didn’t look very rebellious but that was okay, neither did she. She especially kept watch on the littler purple-haired general marching around and calling out orders. It was hard not to become too engrossed with the screen that she would forget other things. She still looked over her shoulder out of habit. Ampora’s control of this station ran deep. She never knew who was keeping personal notes for him.

With a mechanic turn of her neck, she glared at the door as it slid open onto the bridge. Equius walked in stiffly. She closed her tab calmly and nodded to him. She hoped he didn’t hear her heart pounding in her ears.

“Sargent,” she addressed him. “What are you doing on the deck?”

“New position, Ma’am. Sent here after the ship landed,” he answered. He was grinning a bit. She hated to do this to him right now.

She pointed to a cadet below her. “Good thing you’re here. I need you to lead a group down to the main bay to assist in the cataloging of the captured vessel.” When she saw his face drop a little she added, “and to assist General Ampora.”

A wave of relief swept over her as his features brightened again. He looked at her expectantly and she almost smiled at it. He was waiting for her to assign him a crew. How cute. She gently nudged him in the direction of a cadet and told him quietly, “It is _paw_ sible that you get to… choose your own squad now.” A blue blush rose in his angular face as he got the memo and went over to the cadet to demand access to the barracks. Nepeta smiled to herself as he marched strongly out of the room a minute later to go lead a crew to a ship.

With that distraction gone, she got back to work. “How are things looking?” she asked a private. She was a rust blood that always blushed around the captain. It made Nepeta happy.

The woman cleared her throat. “Pretty quiet, Captain Leijon. They just sent in one more pair to sweep the ship. From what I’ve heard over the coms, the crew abandoned ship.” Nepeta nodded. A ship with an abandoned crew chasing a TIE fighter like that. She didn’t think so.

With both Equius and Ampora out of the way she almost felt safe logging back onto Zahhak’s account in the middle of the command station. She opened up the cameras just in time. The two Stormtroopers were emerging from the ship… she frowned… followed by a giant carrying two blue bloods? The screen shot red and blue for a moment and the peculiar image was gone. She suppressed a smile.

This was no time for happiness, though. Anyone else could have seen them too. She looked around but no one seemed panicked. Some crew. She needed a distraction. Something big to make sure whoever was on board had time to do what they needed to. Something she’d been working on for a while with a little help from some very bitter and very crafty friends.

A quiet shock of satisfaction, something she hadn’t felt in a very long time, encouraged her mouth to fall into the tiniest smirk as she clicked the send button on her screen. She knew her computer would be incapacitated as well as soon as she sent the virus but it was fine. It was worth it.

Various dings and pops filled the bay as every computer logged in by personnel received the same email. Nepeta bit her lip so she wouldn’t smile as she closed Equius’ account and opened hers so she could get to the email quickly.

A hundred fingers pressed ‘open’ and Nepeta giggled as a cacophony of mews and kitty noises ballooned into the air as the virus she’d just sent infected every computer it touched. Cats. Cats and kittens climbing over every screen and leaving mass panic in their wake as their pixelated images refused to be moved from their spots directly in front of very important things to be clicked on. The virus would only last a couple of minutes but Nepeta allowed a feline grin to grow while she could revel in the carnage.

“Ma’am!” came a voice from behind her. She swirled around with hell in her eyes.

“What is the meaning of this?” she demanded. “We have an unknown, possibly enemy ship in our midst and _cats_ are our solution to this problem?”

The private cowered. She focused all her willpower on not losing it right then and there. “Well?” she waited as the mewing filled the silence in between them. The man before her sputtered. She put a hand over her face in feign exasperation and to cover her laugh.

“Oh my g- call I.T!” she yelled.

“Yes Ma’am!” he cried as he scrambled off to call some poor soul to fix a mess that would be gone by the time they arrived.

She sighed and hoped the Rebels were doing well. As for her, well she stood with her shoulders back in pride. What a _purr_ fect _cat_ astrophe she’d caused.


	13. What Doesn’t Kill You Probably Should Have Tried Harder

“Don’t you think this would have been easier if we like, snuck around in air vents?” Karkat asked from behind Dave and John. The two boys shrugged and kept on their way jogging down the smaller corridors. Jade messaged Dave periodically, telling them to take a turn here and stop a moment there. She was the real reason they hadn’t run into any guards yet.

That sinking fear Karkat was used to when he found himself in idiotic situations such as these was nagging away again. He hated it. He was a troll, dammit. Still, his grip on the lightsaber at his hip tightened every time they had to flatten their bodies against a wall and hope that the passersby in the junction didn’t notice the odd trio.

Finally, they made it to an elevator. Dave was mumbling under his helmet nervously. Karkat wasn’t positive, but he was ninety percent sure the guy was trying to freestyle rap and failing miserably. Over the hum of the service elevator, he could faintly make out the lines, “Got into a big mess now I’m trying save a princess. Got my boy John beside me, riding this mission like a… a… fuck.”

Karkat resisted the urge to growl. Fucker wouldn’t know how to rhyme if a wriggler’s bedtime story gained sentience and jammed itself into his breathing tube.

The silent elevator ride continued and Karkat turned his attention to John. He used to be more annoyed by him, honestly. They’d know each other as long as either could remember and for a while when he was young Karkat was convinced he and John were going to have the caliginous romance of the millennia. He had been so, so positive John was being that goofy and persistent about human ‘friendship’ because it was all an elaborate ruse to get some hating to go on. This misunderstanding, of course, lead to a very awkward conversation and almost a full rotation of Karkat berating himself for the whole affair.

He caught John’s eye, he thought at least, it was hard to tell with the helmet, and smiled softly. Of course that was over now. They were human ‘friends’. John was impossible to hate, to annoying to love, and really just too goddamn stupid to be a moirail with. He was just John. John, who could somehow convince fuckers like him to do ridiculously stupid shit like this and insisted on rescuing royalty.

The doors opened to a rather bleak command center. Three Stormtroopers and an officer stood looking down at a computer terminal, uninterested in whatever was at the door.

Dave held a finger to his helmet, ‘Shhhh’. John nodded and crept alongside Dave, towing Karkat behind him. Karkat’s blood circulator roared in his vibration detectors as he tiptoed behind the parade of dumbasses towards a door. The guards had still not looked up from whatever it was they were so occupied with.

“Try unmuting it,” Karkat heard from a soldier behind him. John was comically fiddling with a keypad that was insistent on being obnoxiously stubborn. Dave tried his hand but merely typed in 42069 before snapping a pic and posting it. Karkat wondered what douchetastic caption this one would yield. “I’m an idiot. Hope I don’t kill myself out of sheer incompetence.” Dave pressed enter. The code was denied.

John turned to Dave in silence and expressed the most patented ‘done’ expression Karkat had ever witnessed a person do while wearing an opaque helmet. In his mind Karkat applauded. Well done. John whacked the side of Dave’s helmet.

To add to the insanity, a sudden mewing piped up behind them. All three turned around slowly to face the three troopers and the officer. The four looked at the three in silence. Ambient feline sounds took its liberty in increasing the tension between them.

“Cat videos?” Dave asked amiably.

They responded with gunfire and honestly Karkat couldn’t fucking blame them. He reached for the saber at his hip as he dived for cover. John and Dave had already whipped out their blasters and were, well, blasting. Smoke and ringing filled the room as Karkat finally ignited the weaponized flashlight between his hands. He sprang up, shoving the stick into the first foe he saw, which happened to be the officer. The human crumpled to the ground next to the Stormtroopers.

If Karkat felt remorse for killing the man he didn’t have time to recognize it. He noted he should probably decide if he felt bad or not about it later so he cataloged the reminder in the back of his pan and got back to business.

Dave was video calling Jade. She appeared on the screen with a huff, rolling her eyes at the carnage. “Discreet,” she commented plainly.

Dave flashed a piece sign and handed Jade to John. She directed him in locking the door with an emergency code she’d dredged up and gave them the codes for the Princess’s cell. “But guys,” she warned, “there’s something else.”

They crowded around the screen. Dave’s leg bounced with a mind of his own, insisting that this was wasting time while his mouth kept quiet. “What is it?” he asked calmly but his fidgeting limbs screamed impatience.

“There may be a few more prisoners. I’m trying to figure it out now,” she explained quickly.

“Well tell us when you do bye Jade thanks,” Dave rushed before shutting off the call. He turned to John. “Ready?”

John took off his helmet and whipped his face. “Someone should stay here and watch the computer terminal.” He briefly glanced at the clusterfuck of whatever the hell those cats were doing and sighed. “I don’t know what the hell that is but if systems come back up this room is the first line of defense between us and everyone else.”

He let the silence that followed hang. When the silence was not met by a volunteer he turned apologetically towards Karkat.

“No way!” Karkat shrieked indignantly. “Fuck leaving me here! I was the one to get us into this mess! I’m ‘emotionally invested’ or whatever the shit you call it. I’m going.”

John shrugged and turned to Dave, who countered the shrug skillfully with a mastered shrug of his own. “Dude, I’m not going to miss being the first thing this princess is going to see in the rescue scene. Save bitches, make boonbucks. I’m going.”

John nodded and walked to the computer terminal. He frowned. Karkat didn’t enjoy the sudden lack of cat meows and purrs. “The computers are coming back online,” John stated with furrowed brows. “Go!”

They went. John pressed a button and the previously vehement door opened happily for them and they dashed down the grated metal floor of the corridor, ignoring the echoes that they left in their wake. Finally, they slid to a door and typed a code in hastily. The two heroes almost ran face first into the graceful troll standing in wait for them.

They panted, breathless, before her calm demeanor. The only hint of surprise was conveyed in a slight upturn of her eyebrows and a parting of her lips. Dave leaned into the door frame and shot a finger gun casually. “Princess,” he announced. “Dave Strider, at your service. Feel free to pay when convenient.”

Karkat scowled. “Dave, you sound like a fucking stripper.” He softened the scowl minutely and turned to the princess. “Come on, we have to get you out of here.” He held out a hand which she smiled at but refused.

“So this is a rescue?” she asked, unimpressed, stepping past them and scanning the other doors. “It’s much appreciated.” He couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

Karkat watched her with a tilted head and an eyebrow raised in confusion. Okay…. Dave appeared next to him. “Well, that was something.” His voice wasn’t muffled. Had he taken off his helmet? He turned around and twitched at his own reflection in the shades.

“Fucker!”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he groaned. He turned to the Princess, who was already down the hall, stopped in front of a door. She was a strange combination of very defined shapes. She stood tall and angular and her body would have curves in one place and defined edges in the next. Even without being remotely interested Karkat could tell that she was very beautiful.

Her head turned like she’d heard what he was thinking. Her jade green lips were parted in a question. “Could you please open this door?” she called to them. Dave and Karkat shrugged at each other and followed her commands. Dave blasted the lock and the door slid open. The Princess’s face lit up a lot more at that than her own rescue.

A small human girl with dark brown skin and light blonde hair dressed in black stepped out and nodded to the Princess. Her opposite, a large gray troll with a mountain of black hair and multicolored attire followed shortly after.

The Princess smiled at her rescuers for the first time. “Dave and, I didn’t get your name?”

“Karkat.”

She nodded and turned to her companions. “Dave, Karkat, this is Rose and Feferi. We can’t leave without them.” She spoke very calmly, even in a situation like this when it was really no fucking time to be speaking calmly. Karkat could see Dave twitching beside him.

Finally Dave exploded. It was a strange explosion, as it was as mild-mannered as the Princess was but his incessant finger tapping betrayed his steady voice. “Fine. Kanaya. Rose. Feferi. Dave. Karkat. Introductions over. Now if we would kindly move along and find Psiioniic before the day is out I will be very very happy so _let’s fucking go._ ”

“Psiioniic is here?” Rose asked.

They didn’t get to answer. John’s voice tore through the hall. “Take cover!” he yelled at the head of the walkway. Laser fire rang out through the hallway. Karkat was vaguely aware of Rose tugging at his arm as she pointed to a hole in the wall. He was too busy watching John as he tore down Stormtroopers with his blaster while he backed towards them.

“Hold on!” was the last thing Karkat heard John say as Rose shoved him backward without so much as a word of warning. He tumbled ass first into the hole in the wall right after Dave. “Fuck!” Karkat yelled as he fell into Dave, who was groping in the darkness of the tube trying desperately to hold onto something.

“Stop moving!” Dave yelled with a voice crack. Karkat tried to hold onto the slimy walls as Dave was doing but it only slowed their fall slightly. Karkat looked up at the white circle of light above them as he saw a ball of green quickly growing as it tumbled towards them.

“Rose!” Kanaya screamed as she slammed into the pair. The three of them tumbled and fell down the slimy tube in a screeching, tangled pile until all at once the dark world turned bright and wet and foul. Karkat only had a moment to register all this before the putrid water he fell into engulfed him. He shot up for air and found himself inside Dave’s brain!

Well, a garbage dump but same thing.

He pushed the wet, stringy hair out of his eyes and looked around to see Dave typing on his phone and Kanaya looking expectantly at the black hole in the ceiling as if she was praying to it. The three of them waited for a few agonizing moments until they realized nothing else was going to fall into them and that was that.

“Whelp!” Dave announced to the large room of trash and waste around them. “It’s going to take a month to wash all this shit off me.”

Karkat growled. “If we survive long enough. We’re you groping me under that water, you pervert?” he demanded.

Dave tilted his head. “Karkat I haven’t been next to you.”

“Nor I,” Kanaya added, wading her way towards them. Karkat looked down and his heart nearly stopped. Something in the water was moving. He scrambled for a pile of rubbish and yelled for Kanaya to do the same. It was only then when he noticed how startlingly ashen her skin was. Karkat leaped of out the water and let Dave pull him up. He was about to shout at Kanaya to get out of there but there was no need to worry. Turns out he was a badass magnet today, and she was no exception.

Kanaya steadied herself and rolled with the pink tentacle that shot of the murky water to meet her. It pulled her under for maybe two seconds before she came up from the splashing with black liquid on her face and defiance in the set of her jaw. Whatever the hell it was that had just tried to tangle with Kanaya Maryam went the fuck off to wherever was furthest from her as fast as it fucking could. He squinted. Was she fucking glowing?

“We need to get out of here and find the others,” she declared firmly, climbing the pile of scraps and odds and ends with ease to get to them. Karkat looked at her again. She was the only person he’d met today who didn’t seem to have a smart mouth intent to justify its existence in annoying him. It was refreshing. He liked her.

Dave looked around drearily. His leg was bouncing again. “Agreed. We need to get the fuck out of here as fucking fast as fucking possible. This shit right here? It’s what the kids call unnecessary. Not good. Nope. It’s like when you go to microwave a-“

“Dude?” Karkat broke his own rules and placed a hand on Dave’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Dave ‘pff’ed. “Of course I am!” He looked around again. “I just really don’t care too much for small spaces, man, and, do you hear that?”

Karkat looked around and tried to stay still. He most certainly did fucking hear that. It was a small groan of metal and gears. “Dave…” he started. “Tell me Jade is responding to your messages.”

For the first time, Dave’s voice quivered. “Ah, no she hasn’t seemed to have gotten around to that quite yet. You know Jade. Her head’s always somewhere else lol.”

Karkat backed slowly up to where Dave had perched on the top of the mountain of trash. Kanaya made her way up with him. The walls shook more than Dave’s voice.

“Did he just say ‘lol’ out loud?” she asked him quietly.

Karkat shrugged. “He’s scared.” He was surprised at the sincerity of the response. He thought he’d fuck off to an insult or sarcasm but the walls were shaking and Jade wasn’t responding and he could see the only door in the place was magnetically sealed. He waited for the calm that would come. The walls were going to start closing in any second and he waited for that lethargic serenity to come over him when he thought about death. He’d faced it how many times in the last couple of hours. Where was the calmness that had told him he’d be okay with it? Where had that lulling little fucker gone?

“We need to do something,” he said suddenly as the walls shuddered again. The voice telling him to give up was tied to a chair and gagged or some shit because he just steamrolled forward. “The walls!” he yelled. “Grab something to brace it with!”

Kanaya nodded and heaved on a pole sticking out of the heap. The walls groaned and started to inch inward. Karkat grabbed the other end of the pole and shoved it between the walls. “Dave!” he yelled. Dave, still sitting atop the trash heap like a fucking trash lord jolted as if he was waking up and yanked a sheet of metal out of the pile to stick against the wall. They worked and splashed in tandem, the panic over the fear of death forcing teamwork into action.

“Contact your friend!” Kanaya yelled to Dave as she and Karkat piled more objects between the walls. They were now only fifteen feet apart, at the most. The trash threatened to crush their legs if they didn’t move with it. Dave frantically called Jade again and again to no avail.

“Voicemail!” he announced miserably. Poles were snapping. Ten feet now. Karkat screamed and threw something at the wall.

“No!” he yelled. “Fucking- no! No this is not how I get poetically dicked off to another plane of real or made up existence in this fucking shitastic fuckery of an ending to my damn life biography! Fuck! No!”

Kanaya laid a hand on him in a desperate pap. He turned to her in surprise. Eight feet. He papped her cheek without meaning to. “Rose will be fine,” he told her softly. “John is with her.”

This stranger, this girl he’d never met before a few moments ago, held his face and nodded. “John will be okay, too. Rose is with him.”

Karkat nodded. She was definitely glowing now. Six feet. He grabbed Dave’s hand and Kanaya did too. Five feet. They stood looking at the last faces they might ever see. Dave let go of his hand and reached up to take off his glasses. Five feet. It was becoming a struggle to stay above the suffocating wave of trash. They were going to be crushed. They were going to die. Actually. Not in some rant. Not in some metaphor. Actually. He couldn’t fucking believe it.

“See you on the other side,” Dave lamented in what he believed to be a final act of irony. In reality, the situational irony was deeper than he had hoped. As the last syllable of his utterance fell from his lips, and his fingers lay on the rim of his lenses, the shuddering stopped. Everyone let go of hands.

Like an ass, Karkat actually felt vexed that he still hadn’t seen this asshole’s eyes. Even worse, he thought he’d burst into flames with how hot his fucking cheeks were burning with Kanaya next to him. He’d know her for five minutes and they papped because they thought they were going to die? What kind of hoofbeast shit. He couldn’t even look at her. He was too mortified. Ugh he was such a fucking romantic idiot. Why couldn’t he have just died in a trash heap like he was destined to?

“Jade? Jade!” Dave was yelling into his phone. “Where they hell- Oh…. Really? Damn.” A pause. “Did you get a picture? No, don’t answer that. Get us out of here!” He quickly muttered out the code on top of the door and in moments it swung open. Dave scrambled out first, almost kicking Karkat and Kanaya on the way out like a drowning swimmer almost drowns the lifeguard trying to save him. Once at the door, though, his panic passed. He helped Karkat out, who took Kanaya’s hand to get her out too.

They stole down the corridor with the aftermath of adrenaline still fucking with their heads. Karkat couldn’t help it. He glanced over at Kanaya and sure enough, an angry jade flush had painted itself on her cheeks as well. He cringed.

Fuck did he really just meet the moirail of his dreams in a dumpster? What was his life now, a shitty high school AU? Did he just get beat up and a bad ass glowing exchange student found him tossed in a garbage can? What next, Dave as his matesprit? He shook his head as he ran. Nope. That was taking it too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Another character note. Basically the same gist with Rose as with Jade. Inspired by the way gelasticat draws them on Tumblr. Again, I did ask if I could site her and she said yes : ) so here are some of her Roses!  
> http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com/image/160960320617  
> http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com/image/159194182797  
> http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com/image/158123338327  
> You can follow her at http://gaylalondes.tumblr.com


	14. Out With a Bang

They exited into a rather dusty hallway. It was almost like no one usually came out of a trash compacter alive or anything. Go figure. Dave, Kanaya, and Karkat squelched down unused service ways and carefully followed Jade’s onscreen instructions.

 Despite the reeking stench from all of their clothes and the discomfort that comes with sprinting in soaking wet garments, Dave still managed to take a blurry selfie which he announced breathlessly to Karkat and Kanaya was captioned “#2legit2quit”. On impulse, Karkat shot an eye roll to Kanaya. She returned the favor before casting her eyes forwards again. Right about now he was wishing he had some shades of his own to hide behind. She probably thought he was an ass.

Against the odds of leaving a sopping wet trail of trashy footprints and literally a vapor trail of pungent quality, they made it back to the computer room where Jade was stationed. The metal door slide open before they had even neared it and waiting hands pulled them inside.

It was a chaos of yelling and insults and trying not to trip over the bodies of unconscious guards as Jade, John, Rose and Feferi enveloped Karkat, Dave, and Kanaya and everyone yelled at once. Karkat nearly got run over by the massive ball of Feferi as she barreled into Kanaya. He caught a glimpse of Rose giving Kanaya a curious look before John pulled him into a disgusting display of human affection know as a ‘hug’. He thought he heard something crack. Dammit John ‘Rib Crusher’ Egbert. Jade went to hug Dave but pulled back, covering her sensitive sniffer organ.

Karkat made the executive decision to figure out what the fucking hell was happening. “Everyone! Shut the fuck up!” Karkat yelled over the ruckus after John had released him. The room quieted. WV beeped happily. He pointed a finger at it. “You too, mister.” The droid whistled.

He grabbed John by the shoulders, which felt like climbing a tree seeing as the boy was a head taller than him. “Fuckbert. What the hell happened back there? How did you get out?”

John turned to Rose and smiled. “When the guards came we were all going to follow you someplace safe,” he explained. “It was good thinking on Rose’s part with the garbage shoot.”

Karkat went to dispute that but Kanaya beat him to it. She pouted at Rose. “Darling,” she said, “wonderful sentiment but I was almost killed.” Karkat held back a smile.

Rose waved a hand it in the air. “I knew you’d be fine.”

“Sure you did,” Kanaya responded with a sigh.

John rolled his eyes. “Alright you two. Get a room.” Rose elbowed him. Since when were they besties? How long had they known each other? Ten minutes? “Anyway. Rose, Feferi, and I got past the guards and tried to see if Jade knew where you were.”

The mass of hair and slightly fuchsia freckles nodded. “We were _reel_ -y worried about you guys.”

Jade stepped up from here, still holding her nose. “I was a little occupied, though,” she said nasally, motioning to the guards. “They got here just in time.”

Rose put an arm around John and shrugged. “Jade had time to take your call. You got out alive and everything turned out extraordinarily well, considering that the three of us prisoners were going to be executed later today. I much rather prefer this.”

Karkat could take Kanaya’s droning comments but he didn’t like Rose’s. She sounded like she knew everything and he was slightly worried she did. He jabbed a finger in Rose’s face. “And who the hell are you anyway?” He added a glare to Feferi as well. “And you? Huh?”

“Karkat,” Kanaya said softly. “These are my advisors.” Karkat scoffed. With the way Rose was looking at her he was sure Rose and Kanaya probably ‘advised’ each other all night long.

Kanaya saw the look of incredulity on his face and rolled her eyes. She had mastered the craft with a very elegant twist. There was a slight bob of her head as she completed the rotation. He was sure if her hair wasn’t plastered to her cheeks it would have bounced.

“We’re on a mission for the Rebellion,” she finished. “We were going back to my home, where my mothers were, Alderaan.”

At the name of the fallen world, the overwhelming sense of loss made itself heavy in the air. The crowded room hushed as Kanaya assumed center stage. Her face did not fall. She merely glanced at Rose. Apparently, that was all she needed. “Our mission was to deliver the plans inside this droid to the Rebellion. When we were captured, I ordered these droids to bring them to an old friend of my mother’s, Psiioniic. I needed to get them back to the Rebel base. With your help, I believe we can still accomplish such a task.”

Karkat felt John stand up straighter next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he was pretty sure Dave slouched. Karkat sighed. He was done denying that he was a Rebel now. He straightened his back and took a step closer to John. A small part of him wished Dave and Jade would join their little band but the two pirates stayed where they were. Kanaya addressed this with a nod and continued. “Do we know where Psiioniic might be?”

Jade nodded. “He just got out of the tractor beam panel room. We’re on schedule and should be getting out of here soon. The ship is in the main hanger.” She took a moment to smile condescendingly at Dave. “And, according to my watch, you beat your time from the last ‘mission impossible’ by four minutes and three seconds.”

Dave frowned. “Doing a kickflip off that government building or breaking into the drug castle for a video game? Because that was twenty-seven minutes.”

Jade nodded. “Videogame. You got back here in twenty-three.”

Dave punched the air and did a moronic little dance that looked akin to a seizure. He stepped up to Kanaya. “Princess,” he said solemnly. She looked at him expectantly. “Can I… no. May I…” he paused and set his mouth in a firm line. “May I take a selfie with you?”

Karkat groaned and Kanaya laughed and patted down her wild, wet garbage hair and posed for a selfie with Dave. Dave showed her the captioned picture, “garbage king and kween”, and she laughed.

“What if someone in this base follows you?” she asked. Dave’s finger hovered above the post button.

“Shit.”

Rose rolled her eyes and rolled up her sleeves. “Shall we cue the alarms?” she sang as sirens began over the intercoms.

Jade squeaked from the computer screen. “They’re searching all computer terminals in the base!” she yelled. She glared at Dave. “Did you put your location on?”

He shrugged. She glared. Rose and Feferi gathered around Kanaya and the droids, John in front of the parade. Jade slapped Dave on the shoulder and grabbed Karkat’s hand. He impulsively yanked his hand back but smiled apologetically at her. She nodded. She understood.

John stood in front six people and two droids. “We go out fighting. Dave, cover the back. Karkat.” Karkat stood at attention. “Stand by Rose and protect Kanaya.” He ignited the lightsaber and nodded. The fatigue and adrenaline fought against each other till his head was pounding and his ears were ringing but it was fine. He was focused and that was all that mattered. He followed them out with a dangerous combination of bitterness and determination in his wake.

There were three corridors to the main hanger. They got past the first one fine but the next was a doozy. John, Karkat, and Dave took out a small squadron and moved on. Something peculiar happened in the next corridor. A small captain with cat eared horns ran up to them panting. John almost shot her but she held her hands up in surrender.

Karkat was even more confused as Feferi leaned into the girl’s whisper and nodded. As quick as it had happened it was over. The troll dressed in gray ran away from them without looking back. Feferi faced them grimly. “Don’t enter the hanger until you hear the explosion.”

“We may not have a choice,” Karkat heard Dave say behind them. He turned around to see ten troopers entering the hallway. He grabbed Kanaya’s hand and started to run. Firing filled the chamber behind them as they frantically sprinted around the identical corridors.

“We seem to be lost,” Kanaya noted as they turned another corner, gunfire still in their wake.

Footsteps pounded in front of them as Rose ran up to the pair from the opposite end of the hallway. “You can never lose me, darling,” she panted. She grabbed both Kanaya’s and Karkat’s hand as she pulled them away from the firing and into a side corridor. There was a door up ahead. The firing behind them got closer. Rose bashed a button next to a door and flung all three of them inside.

They found themselves smooshed into a very tight, very dark closet.

“Darling?” came Kanaya’s voice.

“Darling,” responded Rose’s.

“Would this happen to be one of those rare times when your clairvoyance is incorrect?”

“It would seem so.”

“We’re you expecting an exit.”

“I was.”

“Are we locked in here?”

“So it seems.”

“For the love of fuck, shut up!”

The girls quieted at Karkat’s command. Boots on metal pounded through the hallway past the door. Karkat breathed a sigh of relief.

“So,” Rose said quietly. “Did you hear the one about a matespirtship and moirallegiance locked in a closet?”

“We’re not moirails!” Karkat and Kanaya both hissed at Rose. She was by far the biggest and squishiest of the squashed three and Kanaya the tallest. Compared to them Karkat was a shrimp. When Rose laughed Karkat felt like he was suffocating against Rose’s breasts. First Dave’s crotch now this? He was done with dark, tight places and he was done with humans. It wasn’t happening. Nope. Just didn’t exist as far as he was concerned. Nope. Nope. Nope.

“I can’t see where my lightsaber is,” Karkat hissed, avoiding the subject. Kanaya cleared her throat next to him and suddenly a soft, greenish light started filling the minute space. Karkat deadpanned Kanaya’s glowing face for a moment. In his peripheral vision he could see Rose grinning like a fluorescent maniac between them. At least one of them we’re enjoying themselves.

“I’m not even going to fucking ask.” Karkat looked down and found that he’d shoved his lightsaber in his pocket instead of attaching it to his belt. He made sure the thing was pointing the right way and stabbed where the control panel would be. The door opened, spilling them out into the bright light that made his eyes hurt.

“What about that explosion?” Karkat wondered aloud as Rose helped him up. They backtracked a few corridors and shot past a junction spewing out smoke. “Never mind.”

He turned away from the smoke and almost ran right into Dave who was gasping for breath. “We need to go!” he yelled. Kanaya gasped. Karkat looked down and saw the ugly splatter of fuchsia dripping off Dave’s chest plate. “Now!”

They tore down the halls into the main hanger. It was firefight alright. Stormtroopers were assaulting the Falcon but not getting very far. Explosions would at random tear through any organized squadron or crew. Dave, Karkat, Kanaya, and Rose ran through the carnage and straight into the waiting ramp of the Falcon. John came running down the hall as soon as he was aboard. He also sported stains of pink haphazardly strewn across his body.

“Dave! Cockpit! Now!” Dave nodded and ran. John pointed at Karkat. “Watch for Psiioniic. Yell as soon as he’s aboard.” Karkat nodded. John didn’t even have to say anything to Kanaya. He just nodded and ran and she followed. Karkat noticed the pink drops on the floor. His throat wouldn’t allow for oxygen.

Through the smoke and chaos of the firefight, which was mostly Stormtroopers scrambling to face their invisible enemy and not paying much attention to the Falcon at all; Karkat caught a glimpse of flashing down a corridor. He leaned as far out of the ramp as he could. Red and blue lights strobed out of the hallway. The lights got brighter until Psiioniic and a gruesome figure in black armor emerged fighting. Sufferer.

Karkat balled his fists. What was Psiioniic doing? It wasn’t even like they were fighting. It was more a game of chess. Sufferer would strike again and again only to have Psiioniic and his two sabers counter. They were speaking to each other but Karkat couldn’t make out what. What was Psiioniic doing? Why wasn’t he fighting back?

Mesmerized, neither Karkat nor Psiioniic saw the Stormtrooper crew running up to the battle. The explosions had stopped and now about twenty troopers were running to surround the ship and the saber battle. Time seemed to slow down as a single red shot hit Psiioniic square in the back.

Karkat cried out something. He didn’t know what. Sufferer yelled as well. The Sith raised a hand and slammed the trooper that had shot into a wall fifty feet away. There was no silence but to Karkat the words Psiioniic spoke last were the only noise in the room.

“I’ll tell her hello.”

They were spoken to Sufferer, who yelled and brought down his red saber into Psiioniic’s chest. Karkat screamed. He forced himself to look away as a glow started to surround Psiioniic. A burst of neon light exploded and a crash followed as Stormtroopers toppled over from the energy released.

John came running and saw the pool of yellow sizzling around Psiioniic’s chest. Karkat felt John pulling him away. He heard John yelling to Dave and Jade to get them the fuck out of there. He thought he punched someone. He wasn’t sure. He was hauled into the sitting room in the center of the ship as gunfire filled the air outside the ship and shouts took over the interior. He was shoved onto a couch. He could see Feferi and the fuchsia mess around her torso. The ringing in his ears prevented any verbal help from reaching him but when Kanaya’s firm hand rested itself on his forehead he allowed the blackness that had been screaming at him to win. The last thing he saw before the darkness hit him was Kanaya’s sad, jade eyes. They reminded him of someone else’s but they weren’t the right shade of green. He escaped to unconsciousness before getting the chance to wonder why.


	15. Letting the Cat Out of the Bag

Everything had gone simply splendid, or terrible depending on what side you were on, up until someone got shot. Nepeta didn’t really have that much time to reflect on all this while it was happening. After her stunt with the cats she’d been swept into a very fast paced race against the higher class officers to sabotage what she could, when she could, while she still could. Most of it was unsuccessful. She saw the troll she didn’t know running around and messing with the tractor beam. The best she could do for him was sending troops away when she could, but she was more entranced with the rescue mission.

Like she’d hoped, the Rebels were on a mission to rescue Princess Kanaya. She followed their progress on the controls when she could after the virus went away, but it wasn’t for long. After the virus died it was only a matter of minutes before they were found and then there was nothing for her to do but be who she was supposed to be: an officer.

Like any good solider, she put away her morals and delved into the fight, sending troops this way and that. Like a good officer, better than any purple blood in her opinion, she elected to lead her team. It was unorthodox and everyone knew it but the people under her command respected her for it. Of course, they didn’t know she was planting bombs around the hanger as she led them on a search party, but that was her little secret.

While she was on the ground she’d gotten the best break in years. Feferi Peixes, heir to Gl'bgolyb and her commanding general-her _real_ commanding general-ran down the corridor Nepeta was previewing for her squad. Nepeta knew she was on the Death Star but she had no idea if she was still alive or not. She almost cried. Seeing her in that hallway almost invoked the most epic of reunion glomps from Nepeta to Fefurry in the history of furrever!

But this was no time for roleplaying. She told her general about the bombs and left. That was her duty. A Rebel above all else. While it pained her to turn her back and leave, the seeds of doubt and hopelessness that had been festering in her heart withered and died. She smiled for a moment, beautiful, terrifying, and full of fangs; she smiled and knew they’d get out alive.

Maybe that had been her mistake, the act of being hopeful. She didn’t get a good count of all the Rebels in the station but she’d thought they were all on the ship. She was wrong. While she was safe back in her command station detonating bombs, the older troll was fighting Sufferer. She saw it from the cameras. She saw the shaking solider with a broken horn fire into what had to be a Jedi. She saw Suffer throw Equius into the wall and she saw the older troll explode in an electric maelstrom of psionic energy and light. It fried the systems for a few seconds.

Her ears rushed with blood as she hit buttons and yelled at tech to get the images back, which they were in a matter of ten seconds, but by that time the ship was gone and Equius was being carried out on a stretcher.

 

She didn’t get the chance to see him at first. It’d taken hours to get troops back in order and finally she’d been able to hand over her command to one of the architectural engineers who could fix whatever the Rebels, including her, had destroyed in the battle. There were a few casualties on the Imperial side and a lot of injuries from the blast of energy. It was psionic energy from a potential helmsman, the only Rebel to perish, as far as she knew.

At least, that’s what she heard Ampora telling a purple blood as she stalked down a corridor to her barrack, trying to avoid making eye contact.

“I heard the Condense was trying to find a helmsman like that for-“ He’d noticed her. Shit. He turned to the purple blood, “Excuse me.” The other general walked away. “Leijon.” She took a visibly deep breath and she knew she shouldn’t have but damn it she was fucking tired.

“Sir,” she spat, standing at attention. Ampora raised an eyebrow.

He smiled cynically. “Oh, is the kitty mad her little pet got blown up?”

She said nothing. He sneered some more.

“Don’t think us higher ups don’t know about your little pale romance going on, _officer._ ”

She took a deep breath and calmed her heartrate. No more sass. Back into the character. Back to the scared little Imperial officer. Back to good Leijon, servant of the Empire.

He stepped closer to her, like he always did, and scoffed in her face. “It’s disgusting, if you ask me.” She hadn’t asked. “A blue blood and a green? Where the hell do you think you are, officer, Beforus? We don’t do things like that around here. You don’t deserve those stripes.”

Alright. Fuck no sass. This was harassment and she’d had enough. It’d been this way for as long as she was stationed with him and enough was enough. No one talked about Equius like that without some kind of reprimand. Time for a little claws and effect.

She batted her eyes at him and he frowned. That was unexpected. “Eridan,” she said sweetly, steeping over multiple boundaries using his first name. He glared at her. She continued. “Are you black flirting with me?”

He gaped, but coupled with the flapping of his gilled it looked more like a fish out of water. She pressed. “Hmm. A _general, violet blood_ prompting unauspistized caliginous relationship with a _green blooded officer?_ ” She purred. “What would the Empress say?”

A burning violet flush filled his face as the impact of her accusations reached him. She was still standing _purr_ fectly still at attention. He then grabbed her wrist and dragged her into a side room. Her heart hammered in her chest as she let him pull her. What had she done? What was he going to do?

The door hissed closed behind them in an empty meeting room. Ampora shoved her against a wall, still holding her by her wrists. She remained calm and stared evenly. This was no time for anger. “What are you doing?” she whispered evenly.

He let go of her hands and stood back. “You’re nothing, and no that’s not a fucking black compliment.” She could tell he meant it. The words were spoken not with passion but honesty. She’d pushed too far. She tried not to swallow too loudly as she forced herself to stand back at attention. He paced before her, menacing and calculated. She’d read somewhere that sharks were found eerie because of their dead, unseeing eyes. The eyes Ampora was looking at her with had lost their usual nerve and malice, now they were dead and serious. A quite unfamiliar feeling reached her. It was fear.

“I despise you,” he stated. “Simple. You’re everything that shouldn’t be. But that doesn’t matter.” She wished his words were hot and angry because that might mean lies or heat of the moment threats but they were as official as the stupid cape he wore.

“Someone’s been sending coded messages from this station.”

She remained emotionless.

“I’d bet tail and fin it was _you_.” He stopped his pacing and stared at her. “I want you to know I don’t need executive permission you throw you out into space. I could do it right now but that wouldn’t be satisfying enough. No. I’m going to wait until out technicians discover exactly whose name is stamped to those messages and let you watch all that you’ve worked for crumble to nothingness.”

He stared patiently, waiting for her face to break, maybe a confession. She did not yield. Without another word he turned on his heels and left.

Nepeta’s knees shook. Her dry throat couldn’t even mutter the name pounding on her pan. Her sweaty palms betrayed the façade of her emotionless face. They were going to find him out.

Equius.

 

It was risky to write a note but it was even more dangerous to send a digital message. A paper trail can be burned but it was pretty hard to delete data. She slipped the note into his cast as she visited him. It was a chance. He might tell the doctor and ruin everything but Nepeta couldn’t let him be blamed for everything.

 

She tossed and turned in her recuperacoon, unable to sleep peacefully through the slime. Her mind dozed in a half sleep as she criticized herself for letting something as stupid as pale feelings get in the way of her mission. Damn it all. What would Feferi think? She’d be so disappointed in her. What if she was wrong about Equius? What if he was too loyal to Ampora? What if-

She heard the unmistakable sound of her door opening. Immediately she fought past the sleep and pushed through the slime to face her intruder. She emerged cautious. The door was closed. Her heart slowed to a hunter’s pace as her nocturnal eyes quickly landed on the hulking shape in her corner. She sniffed the air and paused. It smelled… sweaty.

“Equius?” she squawked.

“Nepeta,” he said slowly in the blackness. It was the first time they’d used each other’s first names, she realized.

“What are you doing out of the medical bay?” she hissed as she toweled the slime off her and slipped on a robe. “You’re injured. Its sleep cycle time on station. What are you doing?”

He sat on one of the few benches in the small room. It was almost too small for him. Nepeta pulled up a stool and sat down across from him.

“You said in your correspondence that you’d put me in danger by sending messages in my name,” he said bluntly. He didn’t sound angry. He sounded hurt and Nepeta’s heart heaved a little. All the guilt she’d been putting aside for months surfaced in a nauseating way there in the darkness.

“Equius do you trust me?” she asked quietly.

“You’re a higher rank than I am…”

“No,” she interrupted. “Do you trust me?”

“You’re a green blood-“

“I know this. And you’re a blue blood. Do you trust me?”

The silence was almost too much to bear. She rocked in the stool slightly and hoped it wasn’t visible to him. She heard his even breathing.

“No.” Before she could react he sighed. “I do not trust you and this note is the reason why. What have you done?”

She pawed at her robe as she thought of what to say. To admit treason was, well, treasonous. And she didn’t know how Equius “I’d suck a sea dweller’s dick if they asked me nicely” Zahhak was going to respond. Would she have to commit to a moirallegiance with him to get him on board? The thought of deceiving someone like that made her feel dirty. She trained for this didn’t she? Wasn’t she a rebel?

“Nepeta,” he said in the silence. She kept her eyes away from him. “What have you done?”

“Would you do anything for the Empire?” she asked. She held her breath.

“Yes. Why do you ask? It’s the strongest power in the galaxy.”

She pawed more aggressively and tapped her foot. She was appalled at herself. She thought she’d gotten rid of all these ticks ages ago. If she could hold up in front of Ampora why was she melting in front of Equius? What was this?

“If they asked you to kill me, would you?”

Thankfully, he didn’t respond right away but in a way that made it worse. What if he said yes?  The silence was prolonging so she pushed further. “Would you hesitate?”

“Would you deserve it?” he retorted. She balled her fists and he continued. “Nepeta, have you acted against the Empire?” He stood up but his voice remained even. “What were you sending in my name?”

Nepeta stood up with a shuttering sigh. “Equius…” There was a reason she never said his first name and it wasn’t because of formality. She loved him and she wasn’t realizing it until right now. It didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t understand. “Equius I can’t tell you what I’m doing but you have two options. I’m not speaking as a higher up but as your friend.”

She waited for a reply. There was none. “You can get off the Death Star yourself. Do it by escape pod. Fake an engineering accident. Anything. Or you can come with me when the time is right.”

The darkness between them was agonizing. She heard his clunky movements towards the door. He was hurt bad. Nepeta balled her fists and then let the tension go over and over again. It was a habit of hers she developed by watching her lusus extend and retract her claws over and over. Was she regressing? How did that happen?

“Officer Leijon,” Equius said formally. “I will neither join nor report your actions, whatever they may be. Just, please, stop using my name.”

“How did you get in my block?” she asked suddenly.

“I hacked it,” he admitted after a moment.

“You’re not supposed to do that.”

“You’re not supposed to use other’s names for coded messages.”

“You’re not supposed to hack into deleted files to spy on upper officers.”

“You’re not supposed to be sending information to Rebels or aiding their escape.”

“You’re not supposed to know.”

He leaned on the door breathing heavily. He really shouldn’t be standing. His injuries were too great. She didn’t try to help him, though. He had to be ‘strong’.

“I’ll be culled for what you’ve done,” he said. This time a drop in his voice betrayed his cool mannerism. “They’ll cull me without a second thought for _your_ actions.”

She didn’t have an answer. It was true. She knew it was true. That’d been the plan. He was her safety net if anyone ever found out.

“If Rebels are willing to do something like that, then you’re just as ruthless as the Empire.”

He walked out without letting her answer. She wouldn’t have had one anyways if he’d waited. That wasn’t true. That couldn’t be true. The Empire culled people based on blood caste and value. The Rebellion didn’t do that. She didn’t….

Nepeta crawled into her recuperacoon confused. She’s a troll. Trolls die all the time. It wasn’t personal. It was war. She wasn’t as bad as the Empire. Was she?

She curled up in the slime and closed her eyes before she could cry. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him.


	16. Just Pals Being Chums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I POSTED THE WRONG CHAPTER LAST WEEK. To be fair, finals were making me, pretty delusional, but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH nonthe less. SO, uh, fuck, opps, here's chapter 16 folks

Karkat awoke to hushed voices. His body hurt. What was he laying on, a fucking rock? He tried to move but didn’t bother as his muscles protested. He could move later. He’d have to get some hydration fluid pretty soon, though. His throat was burning. Later, though. Right now he still dangled on the edges of consciousness and really didn’t need to deal with that shit. He was going to keep his eyes closed. Instead, he chose to listen in on the conversation going on around him.

“I told you.” Jade.

“You did fucking not,” Dave laughed.

“I _actually_ knew all along,” Rose stated confidently.

“Now _that_ I believe!” John exclaimed loudly, which was responded to by a chorus of shooshes which made Karkat’s ears bleed for a moment. He thought he had woken up to some kind of pale orgy but then he remembered humans shooshed each other all the time.

“Yo, Karkat’s still out like a light and we don’t wanna disturb Fef.”

“Sorry, Dave. You’re right.”

“But really,” Jade said, “what are the chances that all four of us are together? I mean, Dave and I meet up ages ago but you two…”

“I couldn’t tell you who I was,” Rose said and Karkat imagined her shrugging. “Rebel Princess’ girlfriend slash bodyguard extraordinaire tends to be something one keeps to oneself.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, darling,” Kanaya said softly. Karkat almost flinched. She was sitting next to him on the couch.

“Well, I was stuck on Tatooine but you all know that,” John sighed loudly. The shooshes followed. “Sorry.”

Someone whistled softly. “The four of us have been friends on Pesterchum for how many years now? Five?” Dave.

“I believe so,” Rose answered.

“And now we’re all together!” Jade exclaimed as softly as she could. “What are the chances?”

“Maybe it was the Force,” John offered. A short silence fell upon the group. WV whistled from somewhere further away.

“Yeah,” Dave answered the droid. “We can’t believe he’s really gone either. I was starting to like the old dude.”

“I hope Karkat’s okay,” Rose commented. There were murmurs of agreement.

“Won’t you know?” Jade asked. “I’d love to test some hypotheses on that clairvoyance of yours. How did that even happen?”

Rose laughed a sultry laugh. Somehow, everything she said or did managed to be conveyed as flirtatious. Karkat wondered if Rose meant to do that or if it was only in the presence of Kanaya. He’d have to get to know her better to find out. Apparently all the humans and Jade were pretty fucking chummy already.

“It’s a long story involving monsters and gods and magic.” Rose emphasized the ‘c’ with a click. “Kanaya and I met on the astral plane and drank rainbow blood beneath the horrorterrors of old. It was so romantic. I played the violin.”

“Don’t over glorify out first date, my love,” Kanaya said with an audible eye roll next to Karkat. “You were messing around with a grimoire and I got stabbed. I cut a man in half with a chainsaw to save you. Now I glow in the dark and you can cheat at chess.”

“And isn’t it lovely?” Rose asked dreamily.

Kanaya paused. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Karkat was about to gag. Time to wake up. Okay. Make it natural. He squirmed a bit and blinked slowly. Kanaya was looking down at him. He glared and stifled a yawn that wasn’t even fake. John, Jade, Rose, and Dave sat around a table farther into the room. They were all looking at him. Okay. Good. Good. Now an insult to tie it all together.

“I-“

“-was doing a marvelous job of faking sleep to eavesdrop on your friends?” Rose finished for him politely.

“Fuck you.”

“That’s Kanaya’s job.”

Beside him, Kanaya’s face was serene but her eyes screamed and her cheeks blushed green. She glared at Rose and Rose blew an air kiss back and turned to the amused people around her to continue being a mysterious gothic assmunch or whatever the hell she was going for.

“But how do you do that?” John yelled. They all shooshed him again and this time Karkat could see that they pointed somewhere else as they did. He turned to see an unconscious Feferi, bandaged at the torso, lying on a couch across the room. “Sorry,” John muttered.

Their conversation continued in hushed tones. Karkat stretched painfully and turned to Kanaya. “What’s up with those chucklefucks?” he asked quietly.

She smiled politely at him. “Getting to know each other face to face. Rose had told me this would happen. She’s been friends with them online for ages.”

He made sure he was sitting a comfortable distance away from her. Fuck, that pap was embarrassing in the trash compacter. He didn’t want her to get the idea he was shamelessly hitting on her or anything. “Did you really cut a guy in half with a chainsaw?” he asked casually. Well, he tried. It was kind of hard to ask a question like that casually. Nice going, dumbass, A+ small talk. He was ready to die.

Kanaya didn’t seem phased, but her face did turn serious. “Yes, I did but it was for a good reason. Miss Lalonde and I had a very thrilling first encounter, indeed. It is a rather long story, though, and people did die. We try not to discuss it too much.”

“So what are you a rainbow drinker or something now?” Karkat joked.

“Yes, actually.” She wasn’t joking. She turned to him and eyed him evenly. “Does that bother you?”

It probably fucking should have. Crabdad told him bedtime stories about rainbow drinkers to frighten him when he was a kid. They weren’t supposed to be real. He told the story to John once and for some moronic reason, John carried wooden stakes around with him for a week. He should be quaking in his fucking boots. But he wasn’t. In fact, he shrugged. They’d almost died together and that does things to people. So rainbow drinkers were real. Okay, add that to the list of fucking impossible things he’d discovered today. What was he; troll Alice in underground fascination territory? Fuck.

“Would you like to be informed as to what happened?” she asked quietly, probably sensing his discomfort. He nodded.

“Psiioniic had taken out the tractor beam, aiding in our escape. While you, Rose, and I were evading capture, John took the droids, and Dave and Jade stayed behind to protect Feferi. They were surrounded. Feferi was shot in the side before John came back to save them. After Psiioniic was shot we got away, just barely. Rose had to man one of the guns and I stayed with Feferi.”

Karkat turned to look at Feferi. She very still, but visibly breathing. “Do you think she’s going to be alright?”

Kanaya took a very measured look at her and breathed deeply. “I believe so, yes. She’s quite resilient.” She sat very poised with her hands in her lap. She’d showered and was cleaned up by now. Her short hair fell precisely around her angular face and her lips were a vibrant shade of green. She reminded him of someone he couldn’t quite place. One person? No, two.  There were defiantly two.

He looked down at himself. “Oh fuck it all, I’m still covered in garbage!”

She smiled at him apologetically. “We thought it best to leave you be than undress you.”

He stood up and groaned. “Yup, as douchtastic as being a walking garbage dump is, I do appreciate the privacy. Fu-“ .he lowered his voice. “Fuck.” Kanaya half smiled at him before breaking his gaze to look at Feferi again.

“Doesn’t Rose know if she’ll be okay?” Karkat asked.

Kanaya shook her head. “If she told me she’d be alright, I’d know she was lying. I always can. Rose can’t see everything. Her vision is very… shall we say selectiv? It comes from beings that are very whimsical.”

“You mean her foresight doesn’t come from the Force?” Karkat asked, surprised.

Kanaya tilted her head. “I suppose it could, but, Rose doesn’t like to look at things as black and white as the Force. She calls it ‘limiting’ or something like that. It’s very important to her to not be confined by one belief or another.” She looked fondly at her matesprit and smiled. “It really is charming if you get to know her.” Then she turned back to Karkat with a shrug. “But I do realize how vexatious she can be to those who don’t.”

Rose didn’t seem to hear the comment. Or maybe she did. Karkat couldn’t tell with her. “You got an ablution block around here?” Karkat asked.

 

She walked him to the ablution block in silence. It was only a short walk. Small ship, really. He stopped before the entrance and turned to her. “You’re from Alderaan, right?” She nodded solemnly. He cast his eyes down. “And the Empire destroyed it with that… thing.” She nodded again. “I’m sorry,” he told her.

“Thank you,” she said automatically. Karkat still had his eyes cast down. He watched her feet. She was wearing what looked to be a pair of Jade’s boots.

“Can we…” he didn’t know why he was struggling for words. “Are we… going to stop it? I don’t know how. It’s fucking gargantuan and what good are plans if it’s still a fucking super… station…” he tapered off as she gently grabbed his chin and made him look at her.

“We’ll do all we can. The plans have something more. I do not know what. Feferi does. When we get to the base we’ll find out. We can win, Karkat. If we die it was for a cause.” She didn’t smile and neither did Karkat. Slowly, she let go of his chin. “I apologize. My expertise is not in the area of communicating inspiration easily. I seem to lack.”

“I understand,” Karkat told her. He did. He knew what it felt like to say a whole block of words and really not get across what you meant. Of course, he really didn’t know how to tell her this, but maybe she understood too.

With a tight smile and a nod she left him to shower in peace. It was a strange block and every object in it was distinctly separated into Dave or Jade. The squishy multicolored mat on the floor adorned with squid-like abominations were Jade’s. The canned apple juice hidden between the soap bottles was Dave’s. The disgusting, insistent and seemingly innumerable strands of long black hair were Jade’s. The etch-a-sketch with delusional and awfully drawn comics of a man falling down a flight of stairs was Dave’s.

If he had the energy, Karkat would have showered angrily. Who the fuck writes comics in the damn ablution room? He passive aggressively doodled a pair of shades on the guy falling down the stairs. It made him feel a little less dead inside.

He didn’t understand why Jade had so many soaps. Well, maybe he was judging too much. For all he knew Dave could smell like a field of flowers and like it that way. A thought struck him as he was washing the garbage out of his hair. Did Dave wear his shades in the shower?

Karkat shook his head and told himself to stop thinking about Dave showering. Fuck. He returned to washing himself peacefully. It was nice to have some silence and not be bothered with-

“Karkat!”

He lost his balance and almost slipped.

Dave laughed outside the door. “Hope I didn’t just straight up kill you man. Hey can you jot down a dude tripping in the tub on the little pad in there? That’d be great.” Karkat stood, holding onto the wall, seething. Dave kept right on going. “I try to keep my ideas pretty organized, but you know how it is. Your brain is all like, ‘Hey this is the shit. Imma put all my thinking auxiliary into this bitch.’ And then another hot original thought comes sauntering right past, looking fine as hell, and your brain is all, ‘Damn.’ And then you gotta-“

“Dave I will stick your own sword so far up your ass you’ll be a walking, talking blender so help me if any other fucking idiotic syllables falls out of your good for nothing garbage spewer. Do you hear me!” Karkat yelled.

There was silence.

“But how can I reply if you told me to-“

“What the fuck do you want, you nookwhiffer!”

“Oh! Yeah. Sorry. We’re coming up on Massassi pretty soon so may wanna hop outta there.”

Karkat closed his eyes and counted to ten. Finally, he’d be rid of that asshole. His eyes opened as a nagging little voice in the back of his head asked, “But is Dave really going to get the boonbucks and just leave?” He bit his lip hoped with all that could hope with that this was the last day he’d have to spend on this piece of fucking piece of junk. Being stuck in a snowstorm on Hoth would be better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, that was idiotic. I like to have them written out so I have time to edit before posting. Ugh.


	17. Mission Impossible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so here's 17, if you haven't already read it because I POSTED THEM IN THE WRONG ORDER

Karkat passed Kanaya and Feferi on the way to the cockpit. Feferi still looked like a damn corpse but Kanaya smiled at him in a way that made it seem alright.

Dave and Jade were piloting up front. John and Rose stood behind them and gazed at the little green moon of Yavin they were approaching. Rose saw Karkat and stood back so he could get a better look. Karkat stood by John in silence. They exchanged a little nod and turned back to the planet.

It was the first planet they’d ever seen off Tatooine. Well, it was a moon, but the huge, swirling red planet in the background was duly noted as well. Karkat couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit happy that he was alive at the sight of it all, and being happy he was alive was something he was ill acquainted with. It felt… nice.

Rose requested to land as they entered the atmosphere and headed through the jungle. The alien on the other line seemed to know her and a chorus of cheering could be heard when Rose reported that her, Feferi, and Kanaya were all on board. “We will need some medical assistance when we land, I’m afraid,” she told the mic. The cheering died down. “Feferi’s been hurt.”

They flew over lush, dense jungle before coming up on the Rebel base. Once they touched down a whole crew of medical personnel rushed in to care for Feferi. After that, all the attention fell onto Kanaya. Her and Rose were swept away by people asking questions and pointing lights in their eyes as Karkat, John, Dave, and Jade were escorted to a big clunky cruiser. The droids were taken ahead of them, being poked and prodded by technical equipment along the way. AR almost smacked a man with a screwdriver.

Karkat watched it all with awe. As a kid, he’d always hoped to become a soldier. As much as he hated the Empress, she seemed like the only way to get into a war and prove yourself in combat. Later, John came along and explained if there’s a war, there had to be another side. Here they were. The other side. Karkat snuck a glance at John. He was confused for a moment and thought the fucker was crying, but he was just trying to take a puff from his inhaler without anyone seeing. What a dingus.

The order of the Rebel base had a lot more scurrying than that of the Death Star. The most obvious difference was that there were no clones on this station, only people. That in itself was astounding. No one was forced into the Rebellion. All these people… wanted to be here.

Kanaya managed to turn away from all the prying hands at the front of the cruiser and shrug at Karkat. She was used to this. “We’ll rest for a moment,” she called to him, “and then we can-“

She stopped when Rose grabbed her arm. Rose pulled her close and whispered something in her ear. Kanaya nodded and said something to the driver of the cruiser. They nodded and started going faster. “Never mind,” Kanaya corrected with a sigh, “As it happens, we have a battle to be won.”

Karkat frowned and looked at John. John shrugged. Dave and Jade were whispering next to him. The lightsaber at Karkat’s side felt heavy. He really didn’t need to have it on him at all times but it made him feel safer. He was never given a weapon as a grub. Now that made sense. He was glad to finally have something to call his own.

They arrived in a crowded control room with huge glass tracking planes orderly arranged into aisles with people manning their stations. A group of official-looking individuals had gathered around a huge round table in the center. The men, women, and others didn’t look like politicians as much as veterans. They all hushed as Kanaya stepped up to the rim.

A horrifyingly intimidating troll with more piercings and tattoos than Karkat could count stood tall at the head of the table. She held up a hand at Kanaya’s presence. The murmur hushed. “We’re glad you’re alive, Kanaya. With Feferi injured, you take up her position as one of our acting generals.”

Kanaya nodded evenly. Karkat tried to look like a soldier behind her. He tried standing like John did, with his shoulders back and his chin high but it felt unnatural with his usual, notorious slouching. Kanaya nodded to the woman at the head of the table and the leaders around her.

“Thank you, Porrim.” She addressed the party around her. “We do not have much time. The ship I have arrived on has been tracked.” Surprisingly, there weren’t many gasps or faints or wailing of the coming Imperial doom. Kanaya turned to Dave, who was frowning. “I’m sorry,” she told him. “Rose only realized a moment ago.” Dave nodded but still looked upset.

“Inside the R2 unit I brought are the plans to the Death Star. How fast can we locate Damara’s trap?” she asked the counsel.

“We have reports from our mole that the Death Star’s engineers found no such problem,” some fancy pants answered. “Damara was lying to us.”

At this, a number of shouts broke out. A man in pilot’s gear had to be dragged away from the glaring man at the table. “Sollux didn’t die for nothing!” he yelled as he was pulled away.

Porrim raised a hand. The noise died down. She was a jade blood like Kanaya and held the same, almost maternal air that made people pay attention to them that most jade bloods seemed to possess. “This is not a time for fighting amongst ourselves,” she said sternly. “How soon can the plans be analyzed?” she asked a crew member behind her.

“Already working on it, ma’am,” someone answered.

“Put them up on the main display,” she commanded.

“Yes, ma’am.” A hologram of the Death Star showed up on the readout table. “We’ve located it,” the alien behind Porrim said. A red dot appeared on the hologram. “It’s just like she said. That entry point can blow up the whole thing.”

Porrim nodded and glared at the plans. “It’s heavily defended. It’d be impossible to get a large scale attack to damage it but… like Damara said, a small, one-man fighter would be able to penetrate it.”

“What the hell is that going to do?” John asked. A couple of heads turned at glared at him but most of the pilots were nodding along, wondering the same thing. Still, a few of the glares were pretty vehement. “…Ma’am,” John added.

Porrim raised a pierced eyebrow at the stranger but didn’t question him.

“It’s our self-destruct button. No one in the Empire believes anyone has the balls to literally take down a battle station with one shot. But we do, and we will, and we’re going too soon. Thanks to these plans and the _people who fought and died for them_ ,” she added with force for anyone still thinking… what was that name they kept saying, Damara, was lying. “We can take it down.”

Karkat felt the people around him straighten their backs and murmur under their breaths. An attitude of readiness passed over the fighters. He noticed Dave and Jade were the only people with their heads down.

“It won’t be a walk in the park, though,” Porrim said to make sure none of them were getting the wrong idea. “You’ll be required to take this rift in the outer armor all the way to here,” she pointed with sharp, obsidian black nails as she spoke, “without getting shot, preferably. After that all you have to do is hit this thermal exhaust port to start a chain reaction and blow up the Death Star.” She shrugged.

“That’s not too bad,” someone said behind Karkat.

“Oh, and the target is two meters wide,” Porrim finished.

“Never mind this is never going to fucking work we’re all gonna die.”

Karkat didn’t recognize the woman behind him but he liked her attitude. John elbowed Karkat. “We can hit that. We used to hit targets that small all the time on Tatooine.”

Karkat rolled his eyes at him. “Yeah, Johnny boy, you could. I could never hit that fucking well,” he whispered.

They turned their eyes back to Porrim, who was conferring with some squadron leaders. They all nodded. Karkat hadn’t noticed Kanaya was taking part in the conversation as well. She nodded along and Porrim looked back at the pilots and soldiers scattered about her.

“Okay, my friends, we have a plan,” Porrim said with lidded, hungry eyes. “Man your ships. May the Force be with you all.”

A kind of electricity carried in her words. The pilots around Karkat and John nodded solemnly before turning to run to their ships. He wondered who Sollux was. People were whispering about him and someone named Aradia as he followed John to the hanger. The names were spoken reverently, almost sacredly. Karkat shivered and remembered that this was a war, and people died in wars.

He turned to John, who was already discussing mechanics of the X-wings to another orange clad pilot. As much as Karkat liked to pretend he was as much as an expert as John, he really didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. He’d rather just fly the damn thing and have John fix it when he blew something out.

Of course, if John died he wouldn’t be able to fix things anymore. He swallowed hard and looked around the huge hanger they were in. Kanaya was nowhere to be seen in the swarm of pilots and mechanics and droids. She was probably off doing something official with Rose. He turned this way and that, not really sure what he was looking for when a bright red jacket caught his eye in between the creamsicle colored suites. Without thinking he ran.

He pushed people and shoved his way through the throng as fast as he could, but Dave was making better time. Karkat pushed harder and locked onto the bobbing blond head. Dave was right about to leave the hanger when Karkat took a shortcut underneath the belly of a fighter and launched himself at Dave.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he yelled as he tackled the taller boy to the ground. Dave rolled with the attack easily and suddenly Karkat, panting and angry, was trapped under Dave’s lean frame. Dave’s sunglasses slid dangerously close to the point of his freckled nose but he was well aware.

“Shit dude,” he said, pushing the glasses back up, “don’t do that to me. I almost stabbed you.”

Karkat looked over to see Dave’s hand still resting on the hilt of his blade. Karkat glared up at him and squirmed. “Hey, can you hop off my fucking bulge for a minute so I can yell at you, asshole?”

Dave suddenly seemed very aware that, oh yeah, he was straddling someone. He rolled off ungracefully and with a faint blush on his cheeks. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “instincts.”

“Instincts my ass,” Karkat grumbled as he shoved himself up. “Where the hell were you going? We fucking need you!”

Dave ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged aggressively. “I don’t fight battles, man! I’m not a hero! I told you!”

“What is it with you and your fucking heroism?” Karkat yelled. A pilot walking past him picked up his pace at the sight of the fight. Karkat flipped him off and kept going. “No one’s asking you to lead the command! We just want you to not be a piece of shit!”

In the reflection of Dave’s glasses, Karkat could see his face, angry and pinkish with exertion. He hated seeing that. He hated Dave! Oh.

He took a step back. He hadn’t realized how in Dave’s face he was. This was borderline pornographic. Fuck. That was aggressive but he couldn’t apologize. Caliginous or no, Dave was being an ass.

“You live in this galaxy, Dave. Don’t you want to defend it?” Karkat spat, a little more subdued.

Dave’s lips hardened into a thin line as he shook his head. “I’m a smuggler, Kar. I survive. Jade and I survive. We’re all we have. Rose said she’d wire us the bucks. We need money to keep going.”

“I take it this isn’t a matter of saying the fucking magic word, is it?” Karkat asked. “Is this ‘mission impossible’ too impossible for you?” He didn’t want to be such an ass to Dave but dammit people were dying.

“You know,” Karkat said suddenly, stepping back up to Dave. “I didn’t care much about the fuckery this galaxy got itself messed up in and shit out a few days ago. It could fucking be torn apart by a damn black hole for all I cared. Then John, that damn nookfucker, had to go and be a damn hero. Kanaya watched her planet get iced!” Dave remained still as Karkat dished it out. Karkat knew he should stop. He knew he was being an ass but he couldn’t stop himself.

“Feferi got shot! Psiioniic died!”

“You didn’t even know them,” Dave reminded him.

Karkat scoffed. “Does it fucking matter?” Dave didn’t answer.

“Fuck you,” Karkat said softly. Dave didn’t answer for a moment. Karkat was about to turn away when Dave grabbed his shoulder. ”What?”

Dave took off his glasses. Maybe Karkat had expected glowing suns or black pupils or maybe even red irises. They were brown. They were plain old brown. “I’m not special like you, or John, or Kanaya, or Feferi, or even Jade. I’m not going to be sorry for that.”

He let go of Karkat’s shoulder and turned his back. Karkat gaped. Brown.

Not special? Did Dave really believe he wasn’t special? Fuck. Karkat hadn’t been able to push a button to activate that extremely weaponized curling iron for half the time he had it. Not special? Dave was a badass. Dave was… extraordinary. If anyone knew what it was like to be undertalented it was Karkat. It felt like you were a burden. It felt… fucking awful.

He flinched at the sudden hand on his shoulder again. John stood behind him with a befuddled grin. “Was that Dave? I wonder where he’s going. He’s gonna miss all the fun.” Karkat looked up and him and scowled. “What?” John asked. “Kar, you need to get in your flight suit soon if you’re going up with us. I arranged for us to be in the same squadron.”

“Thanks,” Karkat mumbled. He let John lead him back into the hanger. “Dave and Jade aren’t coming,” he told him. John halted.

“What? Oh, man that sucks! I really thought they’d be into this kind of thing.” John shook his head. “Oh well. Can’t force ‘em.”

“Yeah…” Karkat grabbed the flight suit off the side of his X-wing. WV sat waiting in the back of the ship. The little guy beeped encouragement at Karkat. He waved it away and turned to John. “John,” he said as he took off his boots. John looked down at him. “Can you tell Dave I’m sorry… about everything?”

All the noise and excitement around them did a good job at lessening any awkwardness that statement may have enticed, or maybe John was just really fucking good at being a bro. He nodded and told Karkat it’d be no problem. He didn’t even ask what it was about, that fucker.

“All flight troopers, man your stations. All flight troopers, man your stations,” a voice called out over the loudspeakers. Karkat flipped John off for old times’ sake and climbed into his X-wing. It was going to be fucking weird to have him and John flying at the same time. Fuck. He’s never flown in zero-gravity before.

Suddenly all the controls he knew perfectly well seemed very, very foreign to him. This was a bad idea. He was going to fucking die. He should have listened to Dave. He wasn’t a hero either. He wasn’t a Jedi. He-

“Karkat?”

He actually fucking threw his helmet he was so startled, _like an ass._ Fuck the Condesce or Sufferer or whatever the fuck else he had to face today. Embarrassment was going to be his bona fide cause of death tonight. Yup. He’d love to see that on a toe tag. “How’d the man die, doctor, in battle like the rest of them?” “Nope. He was so fucking mortified his pan exploded.”

Fuck now he was sounding like Dave.

“Karkat,” said Kanaya again, closer. Fuck. He turned his head slowly to see her sitting gracefully on the wing, his helmet in her lap like she’d been posing. “I believe this is yours,” she informed him with a soft voice and a softer smile. He nodded and snatched it a little too forcefully from her outstretched hands.

“Thanks, I guess. It… fell…” Fuck he was such an idiot around her.

She took a deep breath and faced him. “I hope you make it out of this unscathed. I’d love to make your acquaintance better after the battle. We’ve really had so little time to talk.”

There were a lot of things to look at besides her. He chose to fiddle with a little lever next to the steering yoke. “Yeah…” he said. His heart was beating really fast. When had that happened? Was this aftermath of Dave?

Kanaya cleared her throat. “I should be going, then. Things to do, you see. People to lead.”

“Yeah…” Karkat stopped fiddling with the lever as she stood up. “Fuck it,” he sighed. “Wait!” She stopped. He pushed himself out of his pilot’s seat and stared at her for a moment. Under the industrial lights, her pale skin looked ashen and florescent. Above all the scurrying people on the ground, it was very calm up here on the wing. On top of everyone they should have felt bashful in full view but all the people created a paradox. Amidst so many souls they were perfectly alone.

“Yes?” Kanaya said, possibly a bit hopeful. Karkat looked at his feet as he held out his hand. She took it and pulled him into a hug. He patted her hair and she shooshed him.

“I’m scared,” they said at the same time. They laughed into each other’s necks.

“All flight troopers, man your stations. All flight troopers, man your stations.”

They broke apart awkwardly and giggling. Kanaya brushed an invisible hair out of her face and turned back to the ladder on the wing. “I have to go command an army!” she called over the noise of engines starting up.

“I have to fucking not get killed!” Karkat called back as he strapped himself into the controls. He hit a button and watched the Kanaya wave happily as his canopy went down. She cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled something to him but it was lost in the noise.

In a moment the helmet was shoved onto his head. It wasn’t comfortable, but it had horn holes and that’s all that really matters. Not that his really stuck out but that wasn’t important. He’d die of discomfort before any laser got him if his horns were butting against a helmet top during the whole battle.

Instinctively his fingers flew over the controls. It was just like John’s T-16, really, if you could look past all the fancy guns, which Karkat could pretty easily. He told himself to fucking breathe and focus on the battle ahead. He’d fought a million times. This was no different. Well, it kind of was. He could fucking die and that was new but hey he’d almost died a hundred times in the past two days so why would this be any different?

He scowled at a beeping in his ears. Great. All he fucking needed right now was a defective helmet. Just his fucking luck. He needed someone to direct his anger at so he glared at John’s cockpit across from him. John was making idiotic slapping jesters towards his audio holes. Karkat mimed the action back sarcastically and in the process accidently hit the microphone button activating the radio signals he’d been missing out on.

“-and steady. Red leader, bring ‘em round the back and we’ll blast it to high hell. Everyone copy?”

Karkat looked at John desperately for help. John rolled his eyes and put his visor down. Karkat swore so loud he almost missed the helpful buzzing in his ear.

“What the fuck is it?” he yelled to WV behind him. The droid buzzed and whistled again. “Oh thank fuck you were listening. Fill me in on the cliff notes.” He made the final preparations as the droid happily informed him on the best ways he could not fucking die. The droid had seen more space fights than he ever had and he was extremely aware. Fuck it was unnerving to have to rely on such a whimsical little fucker.

Someone unhooked his flue lines and the light turned green above the hanger. Karkat briefly got a glimpse of AR waving as he started to hover. His breathing calmed as the engines revved. As he followed John and the others out of the hanger a beeping in a different frequency sounded in his ear. A closed communication. He tapped his helmet.

“What do you fucking want?” he spat at whoever was bothering him.

Kanaya’s easy laugh flooded his ears on the other end. “I just wanted to make sure you heard me.” He rolled his eyes and smiled as he pushed back the thruster and shot out of the base. “May the Force be with you,” she said. There was a beep and she was gone.

As the miles and miles of dense green forest got smaller and smaller beneath Karkat’s ship, he could almost hear Psiioniic telling him not to fuck this up. He smiled in the determined way and squinted his eyes. He wasn’t going to. He was going to give those damn Imperial assholes what was coming to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again


	18. War of the Worlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's 18 to remedy my mishap. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The Death Star approached Yavin 4 at a crawl but that didn’t matter seeing as it was still approaching. The Red Squadron broke out of the atmosphere in a sleek formation and headed around the curvature of Yavin as quickly as their ion thrusters would take them. Karkat saw this mission having one of three possible outcomes. 1) They die and Yavin 4 gets fucks and everything fails and is awful. 2) They succeed and a few of them die in the process but Yavin 4 and the Rebellion’s ass lives another day. 3) Everything is rainbows and Faygo in a purple bloods wet dream miracle world and everything works out flawlessly.

As the light from the sun of this system was blocked out by the gargantuan gas planet and the darkness and silence of space took over, he tried not to hope for 1 or 3 because 2 was the most logical. People died in wars but battles were still won. He had to believe that. He had to live another day for Kanaya and Dave and John. He tried to laugh spitefully, as that’s what he tended to do when that ugly little fucker called sentiment reared its ugly head, but his blood pumper wasn’t into it. WV whistled into his earpiece.

“Yeah,” Karkat agreed, “I’m glad you’re here too, bud.” He shook his head. “We gotta get you a better name than WV. Is there anything you fancy?”

WV beeped again and Karkat tightened his grip on the yoke. “Dave kept calling you the Mayor? Okay, I can get behind that. Mayor.”

His languid thoughts turned sharp and solid as the Death Star crept into view. In his earpiece, instructions were calmly being ordered by Red Leader. He called in his sign and awaited orders as their impossible target grew close. This was it.

“Red Six, standing by,” he said. A few signs later he heard John. “Red Nine, standing by.”

“Alright people, lock wings and ready for breaching the magnetic field.”

Karkat recognized the voice of Red Leader. She was the woman who formally thought they were going to fucking die. At least he was in good hands. A red light on the monitor near his hands warned him of the field. He tensed up as the ship shook.

“See you on the other side, Kar,” John said over the lines.

“Shut the fuck up and fly,” Karkat responded.

“Red Six, Red Nine, cut the flirting and fall into attack position,” Red Leader demanded as the turbulence from the field cut out and sphere of metal and fear became defined by intricate crisscrossed metal structures and divots on its surface. Karkat tried to ignore the deep breathing and few gasps that came over his mic but it was hard. He was adding to the static jumble. He scowled and breathed slower. Fuck panicking. He’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.

“Prepare to accelerate for attack in three, two, one, now!”

Tingles shot down Karkat’s back as all the squadrons advanced at once. It was beautiful. Everything he’d studied and learned about military formations was being applied left and right. His racing thoughts disappeared as an ordered stream of information penetrated his think pan. He was only aware of this moment and the next.

“Blue Leader is going in for fire! Provide cover! I repeat, provide cover!”

Karkat didn’t need to be told twice. The voice in his ear merely provided direction for his attacks. As his fingers flew across controls and his eyes flickered from one pilot to the next, the Death Star was awakening before them. Pinpricks of green lights turned red and turrets sprang into action and retaliated the red lasers from the X-wings with deadly fire of their own. Karkat breathed deeply as he fired at anything firing back at him. The Blue Squadron danced around the Red as it went in for closer fire.

It took a few moments for Karkat to realize he was working with another fighter. The other Red ship wasn’t flying next to him but they were covering the same Blues in tandem as black TIE fighters began to pour out of openings in the battle station like flying insects. The other Red fighter took out the targets Karkat missed and Karkat the same. It wasn’t until they both hit the same target and a loud shout of joy sounded over the lines that Karkat even realized it was John he was shadowing.

The two of them cut through the smaller ships. John shouted in Karkat’s ear as Karkat dove directly under John to hit an enemy closing in on another part of the Red Squadron.

“Karkat, where the hell did you learn to fly like that?” John shouted over the noise. Now that the battle was getting heavy, the thrum of the cockpit had reached a dull roar. John’s voice was almost drowned out by the shaking in the cockpit after every single laser blast.

“A ‘thank you’ wouldn’t kill you, Johnny. You know that right?” Karkat shot back. He wasn’t thinking about how he knew all this right now. He was trying to survive and keep John’s ass alive. Later he would ask himself how he did it. Later he would realize he’d never done the things he had done out there before in his life. Later he would try to remember what it had felt like to be surrounded by flak and snubbed fires that died as soon as the oxygen ran out. Later he’d wonder how he shoved the screams of his dead companions to the side as he pressed on to cover the backs of those he could.

Right now none of that was registering. All the things that captured his attention were primary. He didn’t think in words but actions. Light in the corner of his eye meant fire so his thumbs twitched and suddenly he’d fallen back. A voice meant a command and without blinking he was on his way to help where he could. The Mayor screeching in his ear meant to _get out get out get out get out get out._

As the firefight increased, the squadron started to lose its order. John and Karkat became a two-man battering ram. They’d tried fighting side by side for a little while but it hadn’t been good. The Gold ship they were trying to aid was taken down as both John and Karkat went for the same fighter and missed the one coming up from below. After that, they had fallen into an understanding that they couldn’t fight in the same vicinity, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t fight together.

John took the offense and stormed ahead as Karkat took out anything directly in his path. Karkat stayed as far behind as he dared while picking off anything John left behind and clearing a safe path for the remainder of their squadron. Red Leader started issuing commands around their tactic, adapting to the situation and using their skills to their advantage. The Blue Squadron pulled back as Gold tried its hand at hitting the exhaust port.

The first of the Gold Squadron was hit by a fighter. John covered the next but it couldn’t get past the deflection tower. He had to pull back as the resulting fireball almost smoked his ship.

“This isn’t working!” someone called.

“Let us try!” John shouted.

“No!” Red Leader shouted as the three squads broke up to tackle the next wave of fighters. “We need you for cover, dammit! If you go in you have to hit it on the first try!”

John didn’t argue and Karkat was glad. Over the course of the battle, the looming Death Star stalked closer and closer to the day side of Yavin. Its dark metal sheeting grew pale and reflective in the sunlight. At least here in the heart of the battle John and Karkat could know for sure that they’d be useful. If they died that was one less thing standing between that thing and Yavin 4. He couldn’t let that happen.

“This is Gold Leader sounding to all squadrons.”

Karkat tore his focus away from the fighter he was tailing to allow a tiny degree of himself to focus on the new voice in his head. “Gold and Blue will take out defection towers and on station artillery. Cover and regroup after run. Repeat: cover and regroup after run.”

Like a flock of birds, the Red Squadron spread itself out and shadowed the two groups going down to the surface of the station. Red Leader called out four of the ten to provide cover for the cover. John and Karkat were among them. They swept with the other two over the backs of the Reds who were covering everyone else. They picked off the sneaky TIE fighters who thought they were clever. They watched each other's backs. That is, until Red Three was taken down. They everything started falling apart. Fighters broke through. Golds and Blues were blown to bits mercilessly.

“Fall back!” John and Red Leader both screamed into their pieces. The fleet scattered and regrouped and compensated for their lost ships but with every burst of light, it seemed the mission was slipping further and further away from victory.

Fuck. It couldn’t end this way. Not after everything they’d fought for. Karkat saw a fighter in trouble below him. He did what from his orientation appeared as a nosedive to reach the X-wing being tailed. It burst into snuffed, silent flames before Karkat could reach it. He screamed and then pulled up as pieces of unseen shrapnel pounded the outside of his shields. The Mayor screamed and Karkat swerved left to avoid being engulfed by the exploding TIE fighter next to him.

“-uck are you doing?”

Karkat realized John was yelling at him over the lines.

“You can’t save everyone Karkat! Stop trying! Karkat! Do you copy?”

“Red Six, come in!”

“Red Six, standing by,” he responded feebly.

“I can’t have you bugging out like that Red Six! There’s a battle to be one!” Red Leader yelled at him over the mic. Her voice cracked in odd places. Karkat shook his head and stopped thinking about Psiioniic. For some reason what John had said bounced around in his head in voices he didn’t recognize.

“You can’t save everyone.” A calm, powerful woman.

“You can’t save everyone.” Nasally. Stern. Crazed, almost.

“You can’t save everyone.” So soft and so sad, like a whisper of rain on pine trees.

Finally, “You can’t save everyone.” Psiioniic. Clear as moonlight in Karkat’s ear was Psiioniic’s voice. He gripped the yoke and fell behind John and cleared his mind. He let his fingers go where they wanted to, even if they didn’t make sense. He’d shoot left and suddenly there’d be a fighter there. He’d pull back and be in the perfect position to defend someone. It was electric, like his blood had a mind of its own. His heartbeat reverberated in his auditory holes but he didn’t mind now. It meant he was alive.

“This is Blue eleven! Help! I can’t shake this guy!”

Other X-wings and Y-wings went to help before Karkat and John got there. The TIE fighter moved like nothing Karkat had ever seen before. It was dipping and diving between Rebel ships like it was some kind of game. John tried to hit it multiple times but never landed a mark. Karkat kept his eye on it as he took out what he could. It bothered him. It flew how he flew.

“Look!” someone yelled.

Even without some kind of cosmic force, they all knew where to look. Two Gold Y-wings had gotten into the trench to the exhaust port.

“Cover ‘em! Now! Now! Now!” Red Leader shouted. The squadron dived down to the surface of the Death Star to tail the TIE fighters near the two brave pilots. Something was wrong. Karkat could feel his gut twisting and the hairs on his neck standing on end.

“Why aren’t we being fired at by the towers?” Karkat asked, almost to himself.

They got their answer pretty quick. The fancy flying TIE fighter swooped in to take out the two Golds. It was flanked by two others and dove into the middle of the Red and Blue Squadrons without fear of accidental tower fire. Karkat flew up and seemingly upside down over his squad as he fired at the deadly fighter and its partners. He and John fell into their rhythm and took out the two on the sides but the damage was done. The two Golds were a crumpled, charred mess now blocking the trench.

There were shouts of incredulity as John swooped in and shot the two Gold ships to pieces. People screamed.

“They were blocking the attack path! It was necessary! They were already gone!” John yelled fiercely. The silence that followed was almost worse than the outrage that had preceded it. In that moment, Karkat was reminded just how much of a soldier John really was.

“Don’t forget to target other sites!” Blue Leader called over the open lines. “We can’t let them start to defend one spot!”

So the pilots obeyed and zigged zagged around other trenches and gullies, taking out obscure deflection towers and random turrets. Karkat and John stayed behind and kept sharp shooting, providing cover, while Blue and Gold did the cover runs below.

“I’m going in,” an unidentified pilot informed them all.

“Gold Eight get back in formation!” Gold Leader yelled. Karkat and the rest of the Rebel fleet could do nothing but sit back and listen and watch as two very different voices argued and both dove into the trench and were both exploded into space debris before anyone could help.

So this was war.


	19. Curiosity Killed the Cat but Satisfaction Brought it Back

One night, when Nepeta was still very young, her lusus left. Pounce de Leon had stalked off into the darkness, like she usually did, but did not come back with meat still warm and blood on her snow white coat. Nepeta had sat at the entrance of the cave mewling mournfully for two nights awaiting her return and sleeping restlessly in the day. She remembered the way her stomach sent stabbing pains through her body, telling her to eat but there was nothing to consume.

The first night she waited. The second night she cried. On the third night, she hunted. She hadn’t wanted to. That was Leon’s job. She was clumsy, batting at a river almost until morning before finally, desperation had driven her to sink her claws into the wiggling body of one of the passing, silvery fish. She ate it greedily, not stopping for a moment to taste the sweet flesh before it was gone.

When she had sat back and looked out into the pearly landscape around her, there was Pounce de Leon, waiting, proud. She’d never been alone, but she had done it. She’d survived. From that night on, Nepeta decided she was going to live, no matter the cost. There wouldn’t always be fail safes to protect her.

Now, with the flashing red lights and wailing sirens, she considered how best to go about the whole surviving bit. She was stationed on the main floor, commanding troops by headset and yelling at turrets to aim like an Imperial soldier, dammit! The Rebel troops had arrived while they were still in route to Yavin 4. It was unexpected, but Ampora seemed cocky enough to believe that their defenses were solid.

This was no time to play tricks, what with Ampora assured and breathing down her neck. When she told her subordinate to do something, she meant it. Once again, she found that there was no time for guilt.

She could still hope, though. She’d been stationed on the Death Star only after construction had finished but even then she couldn’t find any flaws in the structure. From her perspective, the battle station as flawless. She didn’t know what the Rebels were trying to achieve. She’d hoped that getting Kanaya and Feferi off the station would mean they could get away. They were smart people, though, and Nepeta had resolved a long time ago that she’d gladly kill for either one of them. If they’d ordered an attack they must have known something she didn’t. The attack on Scarif must have yielded something priceless. She wasn’t stationed on here until after that had happened.

“Leijon!” Ampora yelled testily.

Nepeta shook her head out of the clouds and faced him. “Sir.”

He gestured around the deck frantically. “How are they getting past _your_ defenses? Why the fuck are they getting through?” Behind him, the epic space battle raged on. Green and red bursts of energy exploded into shards of shrapnel as they hit targets. The Rebels were doing real damage.

Before Nepeta could open her mouth, a cold presence slunk into the room. She stiffened and turned to find Sufferer standing almost defensively at her shoulder. “They are getting through,” he said between labored breaths, “because they are small enough to get past the turrets, general. I thought you’d have figured that out on your own by now.”

Nepeta didn’t smile or gain any satisfaction in Ampora’s reprimanding. She had hoped that little fact would be overlooked. Before her, Ampora’s freckles stood out like purple wine stains a white table cloth as the color drained from his face.

“Shall we send out the fighters?” he asked weakly. Sufferer didn’t respond. He only let his filtered breathing take up the silence between them. Finally, he turned to Nepeta.

“What do you think, officer?” he asked.

“Send out the fighters!” Nepeta yelled with more conviction than she had. She didn’t wait for Ampora’s approval or Sufferer’s agreement as she launched herself into an acting position to command the TIE fighters. Before she knew it the fighters were rocketing out of the hanger and the effect was immediate. Rebel X-wings and Y-wings were being shot down, but not as much as the fighters were, luckily.

Before them, the fight became more heated as the new element changed the nature of the conflict. Nepeta detached herself as she was thrust into the position of leadership and was forced to value the lives of her enemy over the lives of her cause.

Even with her aid in the fight, they were still losing forces miserably. After a few close runs to the surface, Sufferer announced he was going to go in.

“But, Darth Sufferer!” Ampora protested.

“I will not watch my troops die, general,” Sufferer said as he turned away. “And I will not be defeated by the likes of insubordinate children.”

As soon as the scary asshole had swooshed his cape out the door, Ampora turned on Nepeta. “Give me that headset!” he yelled as he tore it from her head. She flinched as he yanked a few of her hairs out and swatted her horns in the process. Ampora shoved her out of the way and starting calling out commands to troops. In truth, Ampora was a tactical genius. Nepeta didn’t know why Sufferer liked her so much but she wished that he didn’t. It made Ampora that much harder to deal with.

She could do nothing but stand to the side and watch as Ampora and Sufferer turned the course of the fight. Ships were taken down left and right. Now that she’d lost the distraction of command she was at the mercy of the pain of witnessing the deaths of her fellow Rebels just beyond a few inches of glass. She had to do something. The Rebels would not have placed their lives at stake if this battle wasn’t going to be won. They were cautious. That’s how they survived. They ran and they hid unless all the cards were in their favor. Porrim and Kanaya were not reckless people. Maybe Feferi was but they kept her in check! This battle was going to be won! It had to be…

She had to do something. The Rebels would not have placed their lives at stake if this battle wasn’t going to be won. They were cautious. That’s how they survived. They ran and they hid unless all the cards were in their favor. Porrim and Kanaya were not reckless people. Maybe Feferi was but they kept her in check! This battle was going to be won! It had to be…

But there weren’t enough troops out there to storm the battle station. The gears in her mind began to turn as she looked around the room for a way out. If they didn’t mean to capture the station, they meant to destroy it. Damara _had_ set a trap, then, and the Rebels had found it in the archives on Scarif.

Think of an excuse. Think of an excuse _now._ She looked around the room calmly despite the racing thoughts threatening to bleed past her façade. “These turrets need more direction,” she said to Ampora. He scowled at her but didn’t object. What shred of professionalism keeping them from ripping each other apart allowed them to consider each other’s input seriously.

“What are you suggesting?” he asked, his words heavy with skepticism.

“I’m suggesting a certain acting officer go up to the turret decks and tell them to get their asses out of the computer scopes and start firing with manual assistance. That way the computers can be fast enough to hit and the troops can be intuitive enough to aim,” she explained. She prayed that Ampora did not question why she couldn’t do this over radio.

He glared at her with piercing eyes, searching for a flaw in the logic. She tried not to hold her breath and appear neutral to the suggestion. He leaned in close and she didn’t waver. She watched his black lips part to reveal pointed teeth, and the ghost of what he might have said was still sitting on his tongue when it was interrupted by a voice in his ear and pulled his attention away.

“Yeah, yeah, just fucking go!” he yelled to her. “Shoot those damn Rebels out of the sky!”

She saluted and marched out of the deck. As soon as the doors had closed behind her, she ran. The echo of her hard boots on the metal flooring was drowned out by the sirens and the thrum of Stormtroopers running to and fro. In a strange way, the strobing red calmed her as she ran to the medical bay. It reminded her of lasers in a firefight, where she’d be forced to think of a way out or die. The adrenaline in her system sharpened her senses and set her on the right path. Soon she was skidding into the white-walled medical hallway and slowing to a stop at the entrance.

No one was really paying attention to her. The few TIE fighter pilots that made it back, badly burned or broken, were all soldiers and not clones. Clones would die first before retreat. The few men and woman being tended to were going to be thrown out on the next pod. The Empire didn’t have time for people who were willing to question orders. She hoped these people made it out okay but something told her this might be the last room they ever saw. She took a moment to smile encouragement at the conscious ones.

Once she was past the mess of the entrance, she made her way to the private rooms. Along the way she stopped in front of a patient closet and grabbed the biggest uniform she could find. She continued on with the clothing in her arms and stopped in front of Equius’s room. She swept her ID. The light flashed red. She swept it again. Red. The frosted glass on the door turned transparent and standing there was Equius in a hospital gown.

“I can’t get in,” Nepeta said.

Equius mumbled something she couldn’t hear. The glass was soundproof. She shook her head and pointed at her ear. “I know!” he mouthed. He was messing with a keypad next to the door. In a moment the light turned green. The door slid open and Nepeta rushed into the room.

“Put this uniform on. I’m getting you out of here,” she said. He could be mad at her later. Right now he was going to survive.

Equius nodded and started to change. The door had closed behind them and frosted over again. Nepeta turned her back but didn’t stop talking. “We don’t have a lot of time. I need to get to the turret decks to continue my cover. We need an escape route. We need to steal a ship or a pod. How did you get me in here?”

She heard him push off from the bed so she turned around. He was looking at her speechless. “Come on, Equius! I can’t do this alone! Think!” she yelled. No need for discretion when the room was soundproofed and no one would be watching hospital security cams at a time like this.

“I- I- I know what the Rebels are going to do,” he stuttered out.

Nepeta’s blood froze. “What do you…”

He looked at his feet. “I read most of your correspondences in my name. I then used your name and clearance code to look at higher officer files. They got the plans to the Death Star on Scarif. There’s a flaw in the engineering. It took me a while to find it. The Death Star is not as strong as we thought.”

“That means we have to leave _now,”_ Nepeta rasped out. She didn’t know when her throat had gotten so dry.

“The upper officers need to know…” Equius muttered.

“Equius. Please. Just, come with me.”

“I’ll be a hero. My name will be cleared.”

“I’m begging you, Equius. _Paw_ -lease come with me.” She blinked back the green in her eyes. No. No. They came so far. “Trust me,” she said.

“You lied to me.”

“I’m sorry.”

He backed away from her. “You are not sorry, Nepeta. You fought for your cause and I can see it in your eyes that your apology is an attempt to get me to yield my allegiance in the Empire. Why do you insist on trying my loyalty?”

She wiped the pooling green tears from her eyes and looked up at him. “Because you’re my _furr_ end, and I love you.” She watched his face soften. It was a difficult thing to do with such stony features as his, but his jaw slacked and his eyebrows climbed the mountain of his forehead.

Nepeta glared at him. “Now, you’re either going to open that door behind me with those hacker skills of yours or you’re going to keep me here and have me fight my way out. What’ll it be?” Through her sniffling, she tried to look as defiant as pawsible because she wasn’t lying. She’d do what she had to survive.

Equius, that mountain of a troll, walked over to her slower than she would have liked and stood an inch away from her. She glared up at him still. He leaned down- “What the hell are you-“ soliderand wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened. She hadn’t been touched in a nonviolent manner in… was it years now? She sunk into his chest and didn’t even mind the smell. She felt small again. She felt his arm reach over her and heard him typing in a code. He pulled back as the door slid open.

“Go. I’ll find us a way out. I’ll find you,” he said. She nodded and pulled away.

“Nepeta!” he said as she started out the door. She turned back. “You are the strongest person I’ve ever met.” She didn’t trust herself to speak so she smiled and nodded before turning and running down the hall.

 

The turret deck was a fucking mess. Nepeta stormed in with hell in her eyes. Rebellion, Empire, it didn’t make a difference, this needed to stop. Troops were actually running from station to station.

“Someone!” Nepeta yelled, “better tell me what the hell is going on _this instant!”_

A Twi’Lek from Nepeta’s own squadron ran up to her in a disgraceful fashion and threw his hands up. “We’re being overrun! They take out our turrets and defection towers as soon as we start firing! And they all group together!” he screamed. “We have a whole half a Death Star being unused right now because they won’t fly to the other side! We’re gonna lose all fire power on this side! We’re-“

Nepeta put a hand over his mouth. “We’re gonna do this my way.”

She hated herself for doing it, but in a small, sick way that she wouldn’t admit to Equius for a very long time, she loved the Empire. Her time in it had created a Stockholm Syndrome situation within her where she couldn’t help but love the Empire just the smallest bit. It made her insoldiershe was today. It taught her lessons she couldn’t be taught anywhere else. And there were good people serving in the Empire. She’d found Equius here.

So even though she hated herself for it, she enjoyed her command one last time as she whipped a deck of scared turret troopers into a fine tuned machine. She sat at a station and showed them how to turn the computer’s setting to allow them to aim and the computer to fire when targets were near. They took the initiative with gusto, and her heart sank as another Rebel ship fell. She’d never do this again.

“Leijon!” Ampora’s voice yelled from a speaker. She jumped; something she rarely did. A few of the privates below gave her funny looks. Officer Leijon wasn’t scared of anything.

“Yes, sir?” she said into the microphone.

“The turrets are working! Those fuckers are dropping like flies!” The room cheered and Nepeta smiled painfully. “Be back up on the main deck in three minutes! Victory is nigh!”

“Yes, sir,” she said. She swallowed hard as the line cut off. If she and Equius left without the battle being won by the Rebellion they’d be hunted forever. The Condesce doesn’t keep lose ends.

“Officer Leijon?” she jumped again, making the private who looked up to Nepeta as a goddess jump to. “Um, you have a private call.” She handed Nepeta a communicator.

“Yes?” Nepeta said.

“Deck 16.” The line went dead. She handed the communicator back to the girl with shaking fingers. She looked scared so Nepeta straightened her back and smiled. She knew that was why her subordinates liked her. Other officers didn’t smile.

“Fight for what you believe in,” Nepeta told her as she turned away. She knew she’d never see her again. She couldn’t think about that now. She had three minutes.

She felt like she was flying as she ran through the red lighted chaos. Her lungs burned as she raced down hallways without hesitation and she bounced the entire thirty second elevator ride down to the flight deck. No one questioned her as she sprinted past TIE pilots unhooking fuel lines and mechanics in jumpsuits making last minute adjustments to ships. She slid down a ladder to the ‘decks’, trooper slang for a series of closed off garages for special ships. General ships, contraband ships, experimental… she wondered what Equius had chosen.

Hanger 16 wasn’t that big. She knocked on the side door excitedly. It hissed open a moment later. Nepeta glomped herself into Equius. He winched as he caught her.

“Injured, remember!” he wheezed.

Nepeta gasped. “Sorry! I guess I got purrity excited.” She shrugged and looked at the ship. It was old and looked battered. “You ready?” she asked, helping him over to the ladder on the wing. He nodded and started climbing slowly. The ship wasn’t really exciting, but it was practical, something Nepeta would have chosen. An Imperial shuttle. They were small, discreet, and easy to fly. Nepeta had to pilot a few in her day.

“You want to drive?” she asked as they closed the door together. Equius shook his head.

“I’m afraid if I fly I’ll turn around,” he admitted honestly. He strapped himself into the copilot’s chair and flipped on the main controls. “We should have enough fuel to make it to Yavin 4,” he told her.

She laid a hand on his arm before she sat down. “Thank you.”

He nodded quickly and went back to the controls. Nepeta smiled and got down to business. She didn’t have too much knowledge on flying these things but it was pretty straight forward.

“Open deck doors,” Nepeta said.

“Opening deck doors,” Equius repeated. The doors of the garage slide open and the shuttle hovered out.

“This thing doesn’t have much speed,” Nepeta mentioned as they pulled into the main hanger. “We’re going to be walking into a firefight.”

“It has a hyperdrive,” Equius noted casually as people started to notice a Lamba Class T-4a maneuvered about a bunch of TIE fighters. There were the pointers. Why were people always pointing?

“Right, because we can jump in and out of hyperdrive on this amount of fuel.” She laughed. “Does it have guns?” Nepeta asked as she unfolded the wings of the shuttle and prepared to launch, much to the dismay of pilots and troopers on the ground, who were now running and screaming at the ship to halt. “A shield?”

Equius huffed as he put up the deflector shield and pointed a finger at the buttons labeled front facing laser cannons, wing mounted laser cannons, and rear facing laser cannons. Nepeta pouted at him. So she hadn’t been in one of these for a while.

“No need to get purrsnickety about it.” She batted his cheek playfully. She then wiped her hand on Equius’s suit jacket because he was sweating worse than she’d ever seen. “We’re going to be purrfectly okay,” she told him.

“Are you absolutely certain?” Equius asked as he started blasting Stormtroopers.

Nepeta shrugged. “Not really.” Equius groaned as Nepeta squealed and pulled back on the ion thrusters. The hanger shot away from them as they were propelled into a firefight of red and green and shrapnel. Nepeta laughed as Equius yelled. He shot everything in his path and Nepeta hissed at him when he nicked a Rebel ship.

“You’re on our side now, dummy!” she laughed as she maneuvered away from the fight. She wasn’t as good of a pilot as she was in combat, but it was okay in the current situation. No one was tailing a shuttle, but their shields were going down from shrapnel alone.

“Oh, yes, so it seems,” Equius yelled nervously. He shot a TIE fighter with the laser cannons as they left the last few stragglers at the tail end of the fight. The ship shook as they passed through the magnetic field and suddenly the warnings on the monitor stopped and the shuttled was filled with Nepeta’s infectious giggling.

“We clawed out alive!” she screamed. Equius stared at her like she was mad. She understood. When you’ve seen someone with a constant bitch face for almost a year, squealing was probably a bit of a shock.

Abruptly he reached over and grabbed her hand that wasn’t on the steering yoke. She squeezed back and didn’t let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo so I'm just getting into Empire Strikes Back so if yall have something you wanna see or whatnot just hmu : )


	20. Throwing Caution to the Wind

Karkat didn’t know that he was tired. He didn’t have that luxury in what was literally the fight of his life. In reality, the fighting hadn’t been going on long, maybe twenty or thirty minutes after the first contact had passed. With the revolutionary innovation of zero gravity combat, battles didn’t take that long anymore unless there was a siege, but the Rebellion did not bank on taking any prisoners in this fight.

Still, to Karkat time had lost its meaning. His muscles ached not only from wrenching the yoke around and staying stiff, held back by G-force for so long, but also because it was impossible to relax. John had told him before they left to keep breathing. As long as he kept breathing slow and easy he couldn’t hurt himself. Each of Karkat’s breaths flowed in and out of him in contained calmness, like his respiratory system was an old pipe waiting to burst. His whole body could not relax on its own. Even breathing had to be deliberate.

Of course, he wanted to be hyperventilating, to be screaming, to give it all up, but he couldn’t. He’d gained too much in the past few days of his life to lose it all now, and that driving force solidified the core of his being. His back tingled slightly and his mind seemed to have been taken over by an ambient noise of… something. It was older than the Empire and the Rebellion. It was older than war, and that was saying something. Karkat let it guide his hands and actions.

The feeling wasn’t exactly peaceful. He almost felt intoxicated by it, but whenever he started to teeter on the edge of some precipice that would lead into that drunken, instinct driven aspect of whatever it was that he was discovering, he felt kind hands leading him away. They whispered to him softly.

He was crying and he was only vaguely aware of that fact because yes, he was in a firefight. All that he felt going on inside him wasn’t expressed upon the outside world unless he acted as a medium between this wild, cruel, ecstatic place, and the place where the feeling was coming from, and he had yet to learn that skill. For now, the two were separate.

“Kar, half of Blue is cornered. Follow me in,” John said over the lines.

“Copy.”

Karkat pulled the machine back and looped past contained firefights over to John. They were too far away to see each other but by now they had their routine down pat. John dove into the thrum and chaos of the surrounding TIEs and started blasting from the inside. It was tricky to corner a group in space, what with the fourth dimensionality and all, but the Imperial soldiers were well trained and took a measured risk by containing the Rebel troops up against their own battle station. It was too clever for the usual conformity of the Empire.

While John broke lines and led Reds into the depths of the complicated formation, Karkat held back and blasted any TIEs that got past John. Red Leader directed the squadron to spilt up into two groups and go either offensive with John or defensive with Karkat. It was working well enough but Karkat knew that they had to get out of there soon. That particular TIE fighter that made his vestigial hackles twitch was still making rounds and something told him it was win or be shot down one by one by whoever was piloting that thing.

Another ally was taken in a flash of fire; trailing just the furthest bit behind John, and Karkat resisted the urge to shiver. The Mayor spat stats in his ears and he shook them away. He didn’t have time for friction calculations. He needed to focus.

“John,” he said over the coms, “We gotta get the fuck out of here or no one’s gonna come home.”

“Copy,” John said heavily. He was pretty deep in combat at the moment. “Red Leader, what’s the plan?”

The lines stayed silent for a moment. Karkat could sense the collective suspense that all the remaining pilots were drowning in. He scrunched up his eyes at the throbbing pain bubbling in the back of his head. Everyone was so afraid and he could feel it. It hurt to be so connected with so many people. His stubborn, introverted soul wretched as his mind and empathic abilities were being contorted by means he did not yet understand. At last, when he thought he could no longer take it, a burst of resolve cut through the terrific static in his mind.

“Red Ni-“Red Leader stopped. “John,” she said quickly. “Do whatever you need to get Karkat into the trench. You decoy. Make them think you’re going to be defended by Karkat. Let Karkat go and make the final hit.”

“No!” Karkat yelled as soon as John responded, “Copy that, ma’am.”

“Johnny, are you out of your fucking pan!” Karkat screeched as he swerved to avoid shrapnel. Suddenly his hands felt slick and sweaty on the yoke and the placid thing that was calming his mind broke like ice over a lake, letting his entire swirling, liquid fears spill out of his mouth.

“You’ll fucking die, you idiot! No! I can’t lose you!”

“Karkat, get over it. Red Leader, copy. I’m going in.”

John didn’t have time for sentiment and it hurt. All Karkat ever wanted to be was a warrior and all John had ever hoped was to help people. John never imagined killing people and Karkat could have never dreamed of dying. How could both of them not realize that the occupations went hand in hand? Their dreams had so quickly become their worst nightmares imaginable.

Right before Karkat’s eyes, John’s ship flipped around and ostentatiously dove into the heart of the battle, guns blazing like a damn moron. On both sides, every pilot had their eyes on him. Karkat hesitated for a spilt-second before following the heroic asshole into battle. John would never call himself a hero and Karkat new why. To set himself apart from those he was trying to protect wouldn’t be right, in John’s book, but whether he liked it or not, John had earned his title.

As Karkat’s trembling digits missed one Imperial ship, then another, he called back desperately for the whispers to return, and the tranquility, and the smell of rain on pine trees. Nothing. He misfired again, endangering John’s life as they neared the gray skin of the Empire’s monster. He tried something else. Instead of asking for peace, he searched for it himself. He put away the memories that didn’t belong to him. The rain on the lake was not his to keep, and neither were the blankets that smelled like freshly washed hair, the gentle smile on green painted lips, or a calloused hand reaching down to help after falling. These were not his to inspire courage from.

John’s bucktooth smile, Karkat thought. He breathed in and focused on the reckless ship darting in front of him. The way the sky turned purple at moonrise during harvest season. He breathed out and shot down three TIEs in rapid succession. Kanaya’s hand on his shoulder. John said something over the lines and went into a nose dive. Karkat followed low, right on the side of the trench. All fire was focused directly at John. The way Dave looked at him last. That one was painful, but it was necessary. Not all inspiration is heartwarming. Some are heart-wrenching but it’s all the same.

John’s wing was hit. Karkat heard himself scream “Pull up!” but his own voice sounded far away. John kept on going and Karkat stayed steady above him, covered by other fighters, invisible in the distraction. His mind detached and formed an autonomous relation with his body. His hands moved on their own to shoot down John’s attackers. Even before John’s left thruster was hit he knew it was about to happen. There wasn’t much trench left to go and John was going to drag out every moment of it. No one else had gotten this far.

“Now.”

Karkat wasn’t even sure if he heard it through the speakers or in his head. All he knew was that his shoulder made a popping noise as he threw himself into a barrel roll down into the trench. At the same time, John shot like crazy, blowing flak and cover into the entire access trench. Karkat was lost in the smoke that poured from the walls of the Death Star and dissipated as the particles became too dispersed in the vacuum of space.

His ears buzzed with the sudden rush of blood to his head and his throat dried instantly as John’s voice still echoed behind his forehead.

And then everything was silent. The ringing in Karkat’s ears wouldn’t allow for any communication at all. Panic crept up through his throat and into his mouth. He pushed it down before it could crawl out.

His targeting computer beckoned him from the side of the cockpit. He stared at it for a moment that felt like ages. He’d never been able to shoot shit back on Tatooine. John always did that. He felt his lungs expand in a sigh as he eyes automatically risked a moment to look up into the starscape above him. John wasn’t here. Psiioniic wasn’t here. Kanaya wasn’t here. He was here.

He felt his fingers twitch.

“Get out Karkat! Get! Out!” John was screaming. “Pull up! Dammit! Pull! Up! That was a direct hit! PULL UP!”

Karkat shook his head and released his fingers from the triggers. He caught the last glimpse of the two lasers he had just shot disappear into a little hole in the wall he was about to ram into. The Mayor screamed as he yanked back on the yoke, cursing as his torn shoulder tendon exploded into burning pain. The whole cockpit rumbled and John still screamed as the Mayor diverted the power into auxiliary thrusters. Karkat’s head slammed back as the belly of his X-Wing scraped the top of the wall he had just cleared. There was cheering and crying and swearing all throughout the lines.

“Everyone shut the fuck up!” Karkat yelled his voice cracking. “Where’s Red Leader?”

Silence.

“This is Blue Leader,” a new voice said. “Red Leader—Sairy—didn’t make it out.”

Before any words could escape Karkat’s mouth, fire rained down on his ship. He screamed as his strained neck and torn shoulder were jerked. The fleet scattered as the black TIE fighter flew into the formation with a vengeance. They scattered like birds. Ships exploded. The chaos preceding Sufferer’s fighter was absolute.

Sufferer. Karkat suddenly knew. That’s who it was. The one Psiioniic had told him about. He was there.

Time froze as Karkat saw John’s readout on his computer screen. Behind him. The gasp that ripped through his lungs stung on his parched throat. No matter how fast or how hard he swung his ship around there was no way he was going to make it. That didn’t stop him from trying. He screamed as he pressed all his strength into the yoke. When was that damn thing going to explode? John was surrounded. He was too late to—

The TIE fighters exploded. Red streaks of laser fire sailed over Karkat’s head. He looked up to see the Millennium Falcon zooming above him in all its cosmic sans labeled, ironic glory.

“Did someone call for a “nick of time” rescue mission, or did I get a wrong number?” Dave’s voice flooded the speakers. Karkat could hear annoying human rap music blasting in the background. Insanely, his brain recognized it. It was that one guy that called himself a canine… or was it a feline now?

Fuck why was he even thinking about this?

“Dave!” Karkat and John yelled. Both of their sarcastic words, assured to follow, were forgotten as the shockwave of the exploding Death Star slammed every pilot into the side of their ships.

No one spoke. Everyone smashed their thrusters as the fireball started behind them. Karkat clamped his teeth together as the orange glow behind him turned to yellow. He followed as fast as the ship would allow behind John. The yellow in his peripheral vision exploded into white and shrapnel cracked his canopy. There was no thought of the Force, John, Dave, the Mayor, or any other fucking thing because _oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck gigantic fireball fuck fuck fuck!_

The Death Star had been slowing moving towards the base. The jump was quick and Blue Leader ordered all of them to descend. They dove under the atmosphere for cover as the heat and debris were caught by the air that made their ships rumble and scream with fire on their noses as they all descended too quickly from victory.

Parachutes deployed along with euphoric laughter as the survivors slowed their descent to a gentle freefall into Yavin 4. Karkat ordered the Mayor to take over the controls and detached his gloved hands from the yoke. His fingers would not uncurl.

“Dave,” Karkat said. He didn’t care that they lines were open. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry. I’m-“

“You’re an asshole,” Dave said softly. “You were right, but you’re an asshole.”

“Dave!” Jade said over the lines.

“Jade!” John yelled happily.

“John!” she yelled back.

“Karkat!” Dave yelled louder than the rest of them. He coughed. “Good work back there, bro.”

Karkat winced as he tried to relax his cramped muscles. The green jungle below him sped by as the ships neared the base once more. He closed his eyes. “I didn’t fuck up,” he whispered too quietly for the coms to register. Although he heard nothing, he felt as though Psiioniic were smiling right next to him. He flipped off the empty sky beside him.

“Reckless fucker, check. Look at that, I’m almost a real Jedi.”


	21. The Aftermath of Victory

The remaining ships landed one after the other. Following custom, they left spaces in the formation for the pilots that did not survive. Blue Leader fell out of his ship and was rushed away by medical personnel. There wasn’t anything wrong that medication could fix, though, and the nurses and doctors would soon be waved away.

Crowds of folks swarmed any pilot that hadn’t had a nervous breakdown or required emergency oxygen. The broad range of emotions on the ground ran from sobbing to uncontrollable laughter but mostly a mixture of the two. This was only the Rebellion’s second win and the fight was not over. The Empress was not on the Death Star. Empires didn’t fall overnight. There was still work to be done, but damn did it feel good to win for once.

Before Karkat was completely swept away he yelled at a mechanic to “Fix my fucking droid before I get back or I’ll shove that wrench up your ass!” The Mayor was smoking pitifully in the back of the X-wing. AR was already threatening a technician. Karkat waved to him as the crowd of groping hands and raised voices engulfed him in congratulations. His chest felt too tight. His forehead felt like it was about to burst. Too many people. Too many people around him.

Without realizing it he’d pulled back a fist to throw into the crowd in his panic. A large hand caught it before he could swing. Karkat looked up to see John standing beside him. He didn’t protest as John grabbed hold of his wrist and cleared a pathway out of the crowd for them. He stormed straight to the Falcon and banged on the underside of the ramp. It only took a moment for it to crack open. Karkat turned to John to scowl at him but didn’t get the chance to complete the action as John “Lumberjack” Egbert hauled him up by the waist and threw him into the ship. Jade’s toned arms caught him and flung him further down the interior corridor. He turned to swear her out but only caught her tail end as it leaped out towards John. The ramp closed and all was quiet.

“Fucking buck-toothed conspiring asshats.”

He took a deep breath and leaned against the gray wall, listening to the subdued roar outside. People were cheering, but inside the spaceship, it was quieter. He found himself stalling the inevitable walk towards the common room by fixing his hair and trying to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He unzipped the orange jumpsuit so that it now had the top half hanging around his waist. He messed with the limp sleeves for a moment before straightening his sweat soaked white shirt and starting down the hall.

He didn’t know why he knew Dave would be in that cozy little living room, he just did. When he entered, Dave was sitting cross-legged on a couch cleaning his sword. Karkat knocked on the side of the open doorway. Dave didn’t look up. There was silence between the two of them for almost a full minute.

“Uh, thanks for saving my ass,” Karkat mumbled meekly.

Dave put down the rag. He looked up and Karkat was sad to see those familiar shades looking back at him. “Hey man, contrary to what you believe, I actually do have some shred of decency.”

Karkat stepped into the room. “I never meant to say you didn’t.” He looked at his hands. “Fuck. Dave, look I need to tell you-“He looked up but Dave had gone back to polishing the katana. He gulped and plowed ahead.

“You’re not a fucking hero if you want to be. It’s not some unattainable damn standard you set and get a gold star when you do. It’s not… fuck… it’s not some cosmic asshole deity giving you a participation award…”

“Is this you trying to make me feel better?” Dave laughed. He didn’t seem angry.

“No!” Karkat shook his head and balled his fists. “What I’m trying to say is, you don’t make this decision to be a hero. Or special. It happens when…” he lost his words. “Fuck. I don’t fucking know what shit is coming out of my mouth. You just are special, okay?” He didn’t want to face Dave for fear Dave would look up and see the desperate look in his eyes. He needed Dave to know he was sorry but he couldn’t face him with the knowledge he made Dave feel like he was less than he was.

“You’re fucking amazing!” he preached to the ceiling. “You’ve saved my ass more than enough, dealt with all the shit we handed you and came back when you had already gotten your boonbucks! You’re important!”

“I dunno…” Dave teased. Karkat looked down to see Dave smiling. “You blew up the damn super sphere. That’s pretty cool.”

Karkat scowled. “It’s not a contest, asshole.”

“I know. I just couldn’t stand to see you without glaring for so long,” Dave said, deadpan. “It was freaking me out. Making me think you went and got some clone Karkat from the Empire all stuck up inside you. There was a movie once like that. It’s pretty old but John and I talked about it online. Had some crusty old actor he loved. Probably explains his theatrics, to be honest. I don’t seem too clone friendly myself unless we’re getting into that taboo side of the internet argument concerning the act of fucking your own clone. Which I’d be down with but if you were a clone—no, wait. I didn’t mean I’d fuck you if you were a clone. I’m just saying it’s a possibility rarely discussed, if not explored. Not fucking you, fucking clones. I don’t mean Imperial clones either that would be weird.”

Dave stopped. “You know people don’t usually let me get that far.”

“I know. I just couldn’t stand to see you without rambling for so long,” Karkat smirked. “It was freaking me out.”

Dave laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. Karkat’s blood pumper started to tap dance and he told it to shut the fuck up. This battle had made everything backward. He was starting to like this asshole.

Dave walked to the window and looked outside. “I don’t like crowds,” he said.

“Me neither,” Karkat agreed. “But we can’t hide in here forever. Suffer with me?”

“Sounds like a plan, my man,” Dave smiled back. Karkat wished to high hell that he could see those brown eyes again. Maybe, in time, he’d earn the right to that. He was willing to wait.

 

There was a ceremony that night. Karkat and John had slept for a few hours before being shoved into suits and flung into a beautiful temple at the backside of the base that had turned into a shining banquet hall. Porrim stood at the head of the stone and wooden room, where the trees ran into the walls, and read off the names of the fallen. Psiioniic’s name fell into the place of honor among names Karkat did not recognize. John, Karkat, Dave, and Jade all sat in a row near the front. Their silence was absolute and no one said anything about Karkat wiping his eyes.

Although quick, the ceremony was rife with emotion as Porrim impressed onto all of them that the war is not done. They were not truly done with this fight until the galaxy tasted freedom from Imperial reign once again.

The senators sat behind her. Karkat was happy to see Feferi in a wheelchair next to Kanaya. The fuchsia looked weak, but she was awake and that was all that mattered. Rose sat on Kanaya’s other side, her fingers tenderly interlaced with her lover’s. She pulled her hand back a moment before Porrim left the podium to let Kanaya speak.

“We’d like to address those among us who showed exceptional valor in this time of adversity and war. Herc Simpkin,” she said. Blue Leader stood up behind Karkat and made his way up onto the stage. He looked displeased. He looked tired.

“John Egbert.” She smiled and beckoned John up to the stage, who seemed incredulous that this was actually happening. He smiled as his cheeks flushed and went to stand next to Kanaya.

“Karkat Vantas.” Karkat straightened his shoulders and took his place beside John. John gave him a cheesy wink and Karkat scowled.

“Dave Strider.” Dave flinched for some reason. He gaped at Kanaya like he’d misheard. There was a moment of silence as he didn’t move. Jade hit his arm and he stumbled forward onto the stage. Karkat smiled at him.

“Jade Harley.” Jade was about the only professional one among them. She graciously stood and nodded to Kanaya in thanks as she took her place beside Dave.

“Nepeta Leijon.” The girl that had helped them on the Death Star came bounding down the aisle to run into Kanaya’s arms. There was a squeal from the girl as she smiled up at Kanaya. The squeal was amplified from Kanaya’s speaker but it made everyone laugh, and if there was anything they all needed right now it was laughter. Nepeta bounced beside Jade. Jade smiled at her and Karkat shuddered as what he believed was a ‘friendship’ began instantly between the two.

“And Equius Zahhak.” Perhaps this one was the best. A huge troll that Karkat had never seen before walked down the aisle in a comedic daze. He glanced around the room like it wasn’t real. The sweat pouring down his bare arms amplified anyone’s suspicions that he might be on drugs. He took his place next to Nepeta and tried to stand up straight.

“The Rebellion thanks you for your service,” Kanaya concluded, smiling at each of them.

 

After the ceremony, after the banquet and the dancing and the drunken face sucking in darkened corners, after John had taken him and Dave on a joyride in a stolen X-wing and nearly crashed, after an awkward goodnight with Dave and after a surprisingly not awkward hug from Jade, Karkat sat alone in his room. There was no recuperacoon, but he wouldn’t have slept in one had it been present anyway. He didn’t know if he ever could.

He tapped his fingers on the sheets anxiously. Kanaya had managed to get him alone for a second to promise a feeling jam with him before she was whisked away by other, more important hands. He now waited.

Thoughts ran around his mind in ways he did not appreciate. Events were beginning to blur together and he was unaware of how many people he had killed. Who was the first one? An Imperial officer? His hands gripped the sheets tighter as he questioned whether this apathy was good or not. His head pounded as the feelings and doubts of… everything that had happened flooded his pan. He wanted that strange serenity back. If that was the Force, he needed it again. He wanted to taste that kind of connection with the universe constantly.

As his eyelids began to follow the laws of gravity, a gentle knock came from the side of his door. He hurriedly stood up and opened it.

Kanaya, beautiful and elegant as ever, swept into his room. She carried with her an armful of fabric and unused pin pushes. “Hello,” she said a bit shyly.

“Hi,” Karkat responded in equal embarrassment. He added a few of his own barrowed possessions to their pile but it wasn’t much, only the two pillows on his bed and the extra blanket. It was okay. It didn’t have to be much.

“So?” she asked as they curled softly into each other. She was careful to avoid his injured shoulder.

Karkat breathed in the scent of her perfume as he settled into her warmth. Slowly, he mumbled softly everything that had happened and she listened, knowing her turn would come soon. The events that had changed their lives fell from their lips in hushed whispers. They both knew the night would keep their secrets.

Yavin 4 slept soundly. For now, the Rebellion was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! First fic of the original trilogy finished and posted! I hope yall enjoyed it! If any of ya feel like following my Tumblr or wanna shoot me an ask, it's ginger-in-a-fez. Thank you all so much for reading! I'll start posting Empire stuff about mid-August. Till then, bye! Thank you!


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